Episode 3!
Previously, teams went to Hungary. They are…still there.
Theme song.
Teams must now go to Buda Square and do a silly Double Dare-esque task involving the Hungarian Soda Siphon. Who would’ve thought?
The first four teams (Dudes, Anakiva, Tom/Adele, Brothers) get the Buda clue. The dudes grab a cab and talk about how they have to win first. Anael talks about miracles. Tom/Adele appear to be on a bus as are the brothers, and Tom has no clue what a syphon is. Tom not knowing things seems to be coming up a lot.
Hen/Alon? Not so lucky. U-Turned. Hen turns to the camera and announces that to the brothers, dudes, Rainbows, and Tom/Adele this means business, but after than murmurs of disappointment they appear at the Circus detour. Hen has no clue what to do and Alon says it’s harder than it looks.
Buda Square. Dudes arrive and of course Moti is the sprayer and Pundak has the cup on his head. Within seconds Pundak is soaked in purple. Anakiva arrive and Anael seems to get a pretty good strategy going with quick spurts instead of letting the soda fly everywhere. Akiva does pushups for some stupid reason. Brothers arrive and after much bickering, Alon takes off his shirt and Oren sprays the cherry soda. Oren takes a break to drink soda while Alon yells at him. They seem to have made some progress by the time Tom/Adele arrive and joke with them as Tom strips down and Adele sprays him with orange soda.
Circus. Hen is doing the wire walk and if she’s really a model she should be pretty good at this. A few steps in, she falls, but she’s fine. She remarks that it’s tough and she wants to lay down but she has to do it. A kiss and she gets back up.
Pigpen. Nitzan catches a pig and Fifi freaks out only a little. Bar and Inna? Still on their way. They turn into the farm and seem excited for the task and joke about being in last. They arrive and Bar jumps in just as Fifi catches her pig. They rip and read, picking circus, officially second to last as of now. Fifi is mystified that the circus is not at the farm. Yes, because in Israel, all circuses are at farms! The hell, Fifi?
Back on the farm, Inna transports the pig Bar caught and runs around the mud in circles. Bar says animals make her laugh, ever since
she was a little girl. Inna runs around the pigs and Bar is about dead from laughing. They laugh their way over to get the clue and opt for Circus.
Outside the dance hall (I suppose), Yemenites, Rainbow Brites, and Not Romeo and Juliet look for cabs. A cool old car passes by. They all get cabs and Mor is stressed out as usual. Osnat and Carmit humorously debate whether they could’ve done the circus or not, over a montage of Hen failing at said task.
Buda Square. Teams are spraying and drinking. Pundak tells Akiva to start praying. Brothers look to be almost done. All four teams finish at roughly the same time and rip and read. Ron explains that teams must now go to Astra Film Studios and that in the style of famous Hungarian escape artist Harry Houdini, must do so in straitjackets. I don’t think that hailing taxis and gallivanting around Budapest is quite what Houdini did in a straitjacket, but what the hell, these teams have already done a leg full of idiotic tasks, what’s one more. Moti gets suited up, and I am thrilled. Anael is holding stuff in her mouth as her partner gets suited up. All the teams (except Tom/Adele for some reason) hop off into oncoming traffic. Good luck with that, folks? The brothers show their smarts by asking an exiting passenger to hold the door, and they get in.
Circus. The two last teams arrive and have fun getting dressed. Hen? Still on the wire, fourth try, and…kaboom. Bar/Inna see this and it looks hard. Inna tries the barrel balancing and not only falls over but knocks her clown off too. Nitzan comments on how it’s not at all like making burekas. I would agree. Inna seems to be getting the barrel pretty well and Bar falls off the wire. Nitzan introduces Fifi on the high wire, maybe that’ll give her some motivation. And…nope. Hen weeps and says there are some things she just can’t do. Bakers are disheartened, and Fifi says she’d like to see him try it. To his credit, fat ole Nitzan does a little better than she did. Rainbow Brites arrive at the U-Turn board in 5th and celebrate by dancing and singing, as do the Yemenites in 6th. Apparently, the board is close enough to the circus tent that Hen can hear it as she contemplates what an idiotic clown she is. Fifth try, and close but no cigar. Firass/Shira arrive at the U-Turn board in 7th and get the clue after a terribly awkward kiss with a close-up of Shira’s bitchface. Even while kissing? Yeech. Back at the circus, Nitzan fails, a blondie fails, and with six tries for Hen, she becomes the first racer to complete this task with much cheering. She gets some love from the clowns and her husband and they are now in 8th.
Buda Square. Anael stops a local who helps them, much to the dudes’ shock. They do the same and both get cabs. In the Anakiva cab, not only are they crazy foreigners, but now they are crazy singing foreigners. I don’t recall this much car singing in any other episode of TAR. And this can’t look too good to the driver.
Astra Film Studios. The brothers arrive and de-jacket and get the roadblock clue. One team member will be locked onto a grate and have to unlock his/herself while entirely underwater. Seems a bit difficult for the first roadblock of the race – anyone remember the “climb the Eiffel tower roadblock?” or the “eat some chocolate” roadblock? Oy. Alon is already sticky from the soda so he volunteers to take it, mostly so he can wash off. I suspect this to become a trend. Alon is appropriately scared and Oren comments that Houdini died this way. Way to comfort your teammate, Oren! Commercials.
Back from commercials, dudes and Anakiva arrive at Astra. Rip and read. Moti will do it (maybe this will shut him up) as well as Akiva, who also reasons that Houdini died this way. Alon is still struggling as Moti gets suited up. I suppose the dark atmosphere isn’t helping either. All three men get lowered. Alon has visions of ambulances. Moti seems to be mostly above water. Akiva, however is almost under – maybe this challenge has a disadvantage for the shorter people, since Alon doesn’t seem to be nearly as far down as Akiva even though he started way earlier, unless they’re mixing shots. Someone yells stop and they all come up. I’m not getting something here.
Tom/Adele apparently aren’t finished. Adele is shivering on the ground. Out of nowhere, Hen/Alon appear as if they were never U-turned. Amazing luck on their part, or three massive fails by Brites/Yemenites/NRJ. Yemenites are present as well, and note Hen/Alon catching up and are rightfully both puzzled and threatened by this. Alon for some reason is now pantsless as Hen squirts green soda at him, and Carmit is catching green soda for her team. Soaked within minutes, both ladies are laughing and getting crazy looks from onlookers. Nonetheless, they seem to be excelling and pass up both younger teams, who all complete it to go get their jackets. Yemenites are tickled, of course, and they’re also in fourth, so good on them for being the first to catch up to the first-flighters! Osnat dances around moaning like the crazy old lady she is, and Tom/Adele get a taxi. Carmit tells the man wrapping her to leave room for her rack, which she cannot get out without laughing. In the Tom/Adele taxi, the driver has no clue where to go and in an unintentionally humorous move, Adele puts her mouth to her partner’s crotch to pick up the clue and give it to the driver. That’s one way to get into an interesting car accident in Budapest.
Houdini tanks. Everyone’s on their second try, and Alon fails. Akiva asks God to open his lock, and click, it opens. This is also the first thing he reports to Anael upon surfacing. Miracles truly do exist! Never mind that your partner almost drowned! Moti gets it in second, without asking God’s help. More mugging as both teams get their next clue and a Rubik’s cube to solve with a picture of the Pit Stop on it. FINALLY. They get cabs and struggle with the cube. Pundak comments that even though they want it, Anakiva are probably smarter and will get it.
Cabs with crazies. Tom/Adele’s driver gets a little worried that he might be transporting some convicts, so he calls his boss and Tom explains the whole “Israeli TV show” deal to him and tries to convince their driver that he and his girlfriend aren’t crazy. The complete opposite is happening in the Yemenite cab as Osnat is raving away like a lunatic going “I am crazy I am crazy I am crazy yaaaa!” It’s cute, but methinks the lady hath drunken too much soda. She then tries to eat Carmit’s shoulder and whips her hair back and forth. She is taking this jacket waaay too seriously. I hope she doesn’t do the roadblock, maybe she’ll turn into The Little Mermaid and start singing underwater. That would be bad.
Circus, eighty try. Inna takes a serious tumble. The girls comment that Nitzan’s actually doing pretty well. He gets it, and they are not pleased. Fifi bounces into her partner’s arms, barrels through the barrel balance and they leave the ladies in last and are directed to Buda square instead of the U-Turn board, for some reason. Bar goes up and down and up and down and gets it on her zillionth try. They get a second wind and Inna powers through the barrel. They leave.
City streets. Mama is motivating Daughter as they run. Firass/Shira arrive. Mor and Shira position themselves to receive the tossed soda, and Tal finishes her first spray bottle so she has to drink a cup of soda. It looks kind of nasty, but it’s just soda. Mom remarks that it looks like chemical infused nuclear waste, which is actually probably accurate, and downs it before slamming the cup on the ground in anger. Uh-oh. Mor freaks out a little bit as her mom looks like she’s about to pass out and probably being overdramatic when she says she needs to vomit. She demands quiet. Shira, in her first compassionate confessional on the race, notes that Mom looks really sick and Mor is in tears. Tal vomits up the soda and Mor wants to quit, because she doesn’t want her mom throwing up anymore. Aww. Mom fights through the soda of doom to spray some more at her daughter and I don’t know who to feel more sorry for. Burekas arrive, and riding high, Nitzan feels as graceful as a swan, which is cute. Nitzan sprays Fifi with purple soda and calls the siphon a “Cyclops.” Hee. Unlike Tal, Nitzan joyfully downs the toxic waste as Mom and Daughter suffer more. All three teams finish at the same time and suit up in straitjackets. Fifi searches for an English word to describe it, and “location” is not that word.
Pit stop. Ron. Chick in a bikini who’s probably freezing her buttocks off. Dudes ask locals for help while Anael struggles in a cab that’s zooming along the road to nowhere. The guys give their cube to a guy in a bakery who tells them to go away, and they look to be in danger of getting Andy/Tommy’d. Anakiva pray together and once again God answers and Anael solves the puzzle and they appear to be right at the pit stop. The dudes resurface with a solved cube and arrive at the baths as well. Anael starts to freak out that she might have to take her clothes off, but to her credit she does so while running with her partner, and after three episodes, we have our first leg winners. They flip out, probably because this leg’s been so damn long. Moti and Pundak are team number two and pretty damn disappointed for doing so well. Moti of course has to waltz with the poor chilly greeter. Commercial.
Back at Buda Square, Inna is flat on her stomach as Bar sprays her with green soda. Just when all hope seems lost, hilariously, a violin trio comes up and starts playing music around Inna as she says “what do I need this for?” Tears turn to laughter and Bar completely loses it as they play Hava Nagila. Inna kindly requests they go elsewhere, as we go elsewhere.
Astra. Hen/Alon arrive and within seconds, Alon’s stripped down to a speedo to enter the tank. My biggest nightmare has come true: both Alons, same task, same time. At least at the present time, neither are succeeding. A lock opens and it’s Kickboxer Alon, who screams at getting it so quickly, and he and wife are off in third. Gay Alon fails for the third time and starts to cry. Gay Alon gets unlocked to go outside and warm up. Oren swaddles and cuddles his brother in like a million towels and I can see how much this sucks, going from a definitive first to a fourth after a team which has been U-Turned already. Someone else has arrived and I think it’s the Yemenites but I’m not sure as the brothers go back inside. Alon counts keys this time and 12 is the magic number. He gets it and they’re off. Both Tom/Adele and the Yemenites arrive.
In their crazy cab, Tal and Mor loosen up and rock out. Inna and Bar hail cabs with their legs, and Firass/Shira’s cabbie has taken them into what looks like a junkyard, complete with howling dogs, and they’re scared. Shira yells and the driver angrily stops the cab and exits with no reason. Firass wants to get out too and Shira does not. Neither has a clue what’s going on. In the Kickboxer/Wife cab, no progress on the cube. In the brothers cab, Oren is trying to tackle the cube while Alon looks on. Oren remarks he doesn’t like the cube and his brother comments that he doesn’t like being chained underwater. Touche. Both teams get it, get out, and start running to the baths. Welcome brothers, you’re team three, which makes Hen/Alon team four. Hen comments that they really are in this for the big time, having been tied for last and now in fourth.
Tanks. Osnat is suited up and dancing on the platform (I can see she’s done this before) and Adele climbs the ladder in her bikini. Osnat starts and the first think she does is note the temperature of the water and declare that someone peed in it. Eew. I think that was Kickboxer’s tank. Eew, Kickboxer Pee! Would’ve been funnier if it was Fifi’s pee as they sometimes call her Pipi. And this is all coming from the oldest team. Rainbow Brites are outside the studio as are Burekas and sadly, Pipi will not get a chance to pee as Nitzan takes it for their team, as does Tal. Adele is completely submerged, as was the point of the exercise, while Osnat looks like she’s taking a bath in her pee-water. Tal is having trouble seeing. Adele, completely underwater, gets her lock, shockingly. Instead of celebrating, Tom and Adele completely give the task the Whatevia treatment because Adele was able to do it in like four seconds. Tom declares that pulling a rabbit out of a hat, now that’s magic. Magic won’t help them, however, stop bickering over their cube. Back inside, Tal isn’t even sticking her head underwater and demands to be pulled up. Nitzan, though he feels like Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic, must be pulled up as well. Someone opens a lock and it must be Osnat, who triumphantly “ai-yi-yi”s as she exits her pee-water after only one try. Carmit gets the cube and they leave in sixth.
Outside, Tom can’t get it, and Adele breaks down in tears as Tom dismisses the task as crazy, “I’m a soccer goalie, I don’t do this.” Yeah, and your partner’s not exactly a professional escape artist in her daily life, JACKASS. Yemenites run by and offer encouragement to a weeping Adele and frustrated Tom by admitting they don’t know how to solve it either. Osnat peers into Tom/Adele’s cab window and tells Adele to stop crying and Tom to stop acting crazy. The ladies, in a confessional, state that they sometimes have to be the big girls since they are the oldest ladies, and they couldn’t leave the poor girl crying and they need to set a good example for the younger teams. You could argue that they should just let this obviously strong team self-destruct, but whatever, neither are in danger of being eliminated at the moment. Osnat tells Tom to calm down and Adele to stop crying and then actually PUTS HER HAND OVER TOM’S MOUTH so he’ll get the idea that he should shut up because his partner is melting down and it’s only leg one, and he STILL doesn’t get it, so she must do it twice more until he finally understands that his yelling is making his hard-working girlfriend upset. Another fundamental race difference - could you imagine if this was Charla/Mirna and Colin/Christie? Unbelievable. Power to the ladies for keeping the peace, but you could’ve afforded to let them self-destruct just enough so you could wind up in the top half of the pack. Carmit gets a local in a blue sweater to help them and then directs said local to do the same for Tom/Adele. Come on ladies, it’s a RACE. That means you too, Tom. Commercials.
We’re back, and Firass and Shira are somewhere in Budapest, arguing, still in their straitjackets. Firass wants to break up with Shira. AND THEY’RE STILL RACING AND ONLY IN THE FIRST LEG. Not the time for this conversation. Shira explains that if they go home, they may now be going home separately, as the anti-Chad and Stephanie. OUCH. Cry cry cry. They still love each other and they arrive at the studio. Tal is on her second try as is Nitzan. Firass climbs in, and it’s the FIRST FREAKIN KEY HE TRIES. WHAT. THE. HELL. They leave, and Tal still can’t see the keys. She goes back up as does Nitzan. Tal climbs down from the platform, and how the tables have turned as it’s Daughter of the Year Mor who does an amazingly non-invasive pep talk. She talks about how proud her dad will be and Tal goes up again as Mor calls her mom her queen. Aww.
Baths. Tom/Adele (what the hell?) are in fifth. All that and they don’t even let the nice ladies finish before them. Osnat/Carmit, you’re sixth. Good work ladies, now go sing elsewhere.
Tanks. Tal fails her 4th try as Mor cheers her on from below. Tal feels her soul is dying along with Houdini. This doesn’t look good. She climbs down again to towel off and warm back up. Nitzan fails his fourth as well, and Tal, her fifth. Firass and Shira, you’re team number seven. Fudge. Shira cries. Cry, Shira, cry. Back at the tanks, Tal tries and fails a sixth time, and someone (a producer) ask her if she wants to quit. She wants to do it but she doesn’t think she can, so the girls take the cube and a penalty. This ain’t no China Rush, folks. The girls find a cab and hope that the blondes fail or Nitzan can’t do it. Mor solves the puzzle with ease and gets a “bravo” from Mom as they head to the pit stop. They arrive in 8th, but have an hour penalty to wait out. They understand, move aside, and hope against hope as the blondes are already at the tanks.
35 minutes left for Tal/Mor, and Inna opens her lock. Nitzan? No such luck. Tal and Mor sit in silence with 15 minutes left. Bar solves the puzzle and the girls are off to the pit stop. Nitzan finally gets his lock. Bar/Inna are told that they’re in 9th although Rainbows still have 12 minutes left on their penalty. Fifi struggles with the cube. 7 minutes for the Rainbows. Two ladies help Fifi and with probably less than 5 minutes remaining, Burekas check in and are told that they are last but Tal did not complete the roadblock. They leave, Rainbows are up, and eliminated. Tal takes the spotlight, but tells Ron she has a million-shekel daughter. Aww. I hope she learned to treat her daughter better. In an interesting turn of events, Ron gives them a race scratch-off ticket, and they get 2000 NIS (500 dollars) on the spot. Yay! Well at least they won something. Moving on!
Next week: Chocolate wrestling! Ice hockey! Brothers do a weather report! Adele malfunctions!
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What do y'all think?