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Hamerotz Lamillion 2: The Recaps

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ZBC Company:

--- Quote from: Jai Ho on November 08, 2011, 12:11:04 PM ---
--- Quote from: ZBC Company on November 08, 2011, 11:30:34 AM ---
--- Quote from: Jai Ho on November 08, 2011, 10:25:40 AM ---
--- Quote from: LoveRocked on November 07, 2011, 07:24:06 PM ---
--- Quote from: Jai Ho on November 07, 2011, 06:10:02 PM ---

--- Quote from: ZBC Company on November 07, 2011, 04:42:28 PM ---i love so word could understand i need stop watch but isarl better like cholcate fight

--- End quote ---

Umm...I don't understand. What's "isarl" and "cholcate"? What does this mean?


--- End quote ---

 Isarl mean like "Israel" and cholcate mean "Chocolate" :) :tup:

--- End quote ---

Ok - I understand, but what is ZBC's question?

--- End quote ---

all say Isarl i much better then any one esle frarchise

--- End quote ---

I'm sorry - what? I don't understand...

--- End quote ---

all say Isarl i much better then any  franchise

Best Loser:
He's saying Israel has the best version of the Amazing Race.

Jai Ho:
Sorry for the delay, y'all - no good excuse other than laziness, I guess.

I know we're up to episode 7, but since I'm the only game in town, tune in to Episode 5, where we last left our heroes. It's 2:03 AM here and I need to pass out and it took me over an hour to do this and I'm not even finished, so give me some nice feedback, and I promise I'll have this and 6 done tomorrow, with 7 done later in the week. This Sunday-Tuesday thing is not working for me, especially since M/T are days when I have class.

Here we go, Episode 5, Part 1:

Tonight: More Hungary and I’m Hungary for an elimination. Let’s do this.

Theme Song.

Moti and Pundak, rip and read. It’s designed like a fancy frou-frou invitation and they must head to a synagogue, specifically the one of great Zionist Theodor Herzl since it’s his bar mitzvah. Side Note: he’s been dead for years, so word to wise, avoid the chopped herring because it’s probably been sitting out.

Moti and Pundak run past a chick in yellow. Pundak comments on her tits. Anakiva are thrilled about going to a synagogue, naturally. And why? Because Akiva was thinking of praying, and being the Jewy Jew he is, he sought out the local synagogue on a map! And he knows exactly where to go! I’m actually not unconvinced that this is a case of divine providence – God sure seems to love Shushi. Unlike the dudes (hereinafter, new nickname: Team Facebook) they jump in a cab. Tom and Adele. Oh, gosh, here’s the reading comprehension portion of the episode. Tom covers his head. Hee. Tom thinks they are looking for an actual boy named Herzl, and Adele thinks they’re headed to someone’s house – wait, light bulb sounds! Adele mentions “synagogue!” They hail a taxi and Adele prompts the driver to look for Jews and Israel, and proceeds to do a shuckling motion with her hands over her face, and oddly enough Tom follows. I hope the taxi driver takes them to an epileptic clinic. Wouldn’t that be something?

Elsewhere, Team Facebook is explaining what a synagogue is to a local in a supermarket.
Brothers rip and read, and uh-oh, this is going to be a doozy. Oren needs Internet, and now, and you’d think this is a race for the Internet as he drags his brother around town looking for the Internet. Listen to Jill and Thomas, much, Oren? They say that everyone in Israel would’ve allowed them to use the Internet but they get a barrage of no’s. Elsewhere, Team Facebook has followed a local to his home (whose name is Christian, of all things) and it’s beginning to look like the beginning to a pretty standard gay porn flick, with the niceties and the big dog at the door. Bow chicka bow wow. “My mom’s sleeping, so be quiet.” Oh yeah, they’re definitely getting raped. They find a picture of the synagogue and the camera zooms in on the pic and awesomely takes us to the ACTUAL synagogue where Anakiva are arriving as tinkly Disney music plays and Angela Lansbury prepares to come down the synagogue steps singing “Beauty and the Beast.” Akiva loves the synagogue and Israel. They get the clue from the rabbi, and it’s a funny little task involving taking pictures of locals dressed up as a famous picture of Herzl, including fake beard, and pose as such and say Herzl’s catchphrase “Catch me Lucky Charms, they’re magically delicious!” But no, really, it’s “im tirtzu ein zo agadah,” which means, “if you want it, it’s not a fantasy.” Wait, are we talking Herzl or Hillary Rodham Clinton?

Facebook arrives at the little rabbi and gets the clue. And Moti with the kissing – of the clue, not the rabbi. They get to work and manage to do pretty well. Anael acts as art director. Team Facebook find a ginger to help them. Anael finds an Asian chick. Moti finds a black dude. Hungary’s sure got some multicultural visitors this tourist season.  Both teams finish and get the roadblock, which is to break open a block of ice to get the clue. Their tools include a water gun, a nunchuks, a saw, a wrench, and a high-heeled shoe. Hadas and Inbal were DEFINITELY behind this one.

Back to the Herzl cluebox. Firashira and Yemenites get their clues and the ladies think they’re actually going to a bar mitzvah. Yes, and the next roadblock will be the Electric Slide. Actually, I would kick serious ass at that roadblock. The ladies want to dance and eat. Dopey music plays as Carmit asks to go to the “charch” with a praying hands motion. Most of Hungary thinks she probably wants some blow. Bar and Inna’s turn, and in a remarkably brainy and creative move, Bar sketches a synagogue on the back of the clue and it actually looks like the place they’re going, sight unseen. Good work, ESP Barbie! The driver recognizes the towers and the Jewish star and immediately knows where to go. Elsewhere, Osnat and Carmit read the names of Herzl’s parents and reason they’re to go find them, since they invited them to their son’s party. They probably want to ask if they can each take home a centerpiece. They “ai-yi-yi” a cab, and manage to get the Jewish “charch” message across, and Osnat remarks she’s ready to dance, eat, and show off her foxy earrings.

Tom and Adele? At a church. Sigh. Adele opens the creaky door and horrible music seeps out and Tom declares he is scared of the church. My thoughts exactly. They attempt to find a guy with glasses since people with glasses are smarter than the rest of us (this is Tom’s words, not mine!) and they happen to score with a guy with particularly prevalent peepers, who turns out to be a history teacher. Brothers? Still seeking the elusive Internet. Get in a cab, argue argue argue about absolutely nothing. LET’S MOVE ON, SHOW. Bloop bloop.

And here’s Hen and Alon, still at the movie star task! Wow, this seems like forever ago. Bakers are at the TV star, no love for them. They at least acknowledge their idiocy on this easy task. Back at movie star, Hen/Alon get a good, and are now getting the Herzl clue. And they’re off RUNNING to the synagogue. And…after a seemingly endless montage, make it to the synagogue. Unbe-****ing-lievable. Tom and Adele get the clue. Tom jumps a fence to demonstrate a Herzl pose to a passersby, and an alarm goes off. WHOOPS-A-DAISY. All of Budapest hears the sirens and it’s so ****ing funny. Their guy understandably bolts, and they manage to find a blonde lady passersby who has poorer speaking skills than Adele. When Adele is giving you elocution lessons, you know you’re at a nadir. Now they ask some Spaniards, who randomly dance with them. One of them picks up Adele. They finish, and head off to the roadblock.

Speaking of which, Facebook and Anakiva are there, and commenting on the random items. Pundak goes for the shoe, unsurprisingly, whereas Akiva goes for the wrench. Pundak is making pretty good progress which unnerves Anael, who starts off encouraging her partner. This of course devolves into a SHUSHI SHUSHI chant, and now we have yet another segment on it. And actually, Reshet TV has a rap remix of Shushi Shushi and it’s about as riveting as Rebecca Black singing about onion soup or pelicans or something pointless like that. Anael confuses Rambo and Rocky and tells semi-interested passerby that he was in the army fiiiive years as Facebook makes fun of her and Tom and Adele are here so cue the circus freak music. Adele screams at Tom to start, of course, because she is a tiny little woman. Thanks, Monica Geller.

Synagogue. Bar and Inna make up serious time. I fear they’re about to blow it as they befriend a homeless busker. Not only is he homeless but he’s painfully drunk, possibly stoned and the girls seem to be absorbing this energy as they dissolve in laughter. Inna carries the guy’s guitar and they’re going to look for a specific spot that the photo was taken. YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG. In the Not Romeo and Juliet cab, Muslim po-faces the fact he never got a bar mitzvah. Well, that’s because you’re a Ramadan not a Hanukkah silly boy. Anyway, they arrive, as do (having made up time) Hen/Alon. And here comes the reunion of the evil as Hen/Alon spot Firashira and there is evil hugging and evil kissing and Hen’s nightmares are over and mine are just beginning. You’ll see. They go off to work together and I want to go elsewhere too. Unlike the blondes, they get the assignment and work together on it. In the Osnat/Carmit cab, they’re outta cash. They offer payment in kisses and then the driver threatens to call the police but since they are not Colin and Christie and this isn’t Tanzania they opt to appease the driving by asininely begging “forint for us?” Lots of kisses and phone numbers exchanged and apologies to the taxi driver as they Yemenite their way to the synagogue. The rabbi looks unamused. Most likely he’s Ashkenazi. I have a feeling Osnat/Carmit will smoke this particular task, being the socialites they are.

Elsewhere, Oren/Alon are in some bookstore, still begging for effing Internet. Bright idea: they’re in a bookstore, let’s find a travel guide to Jewish Budapest! They just spent an hour and a half looking for that. Sheesh. Fifi and Nitzan are still playing weatherbunny – and they finally get it! They’re feeling down but not out. And they shouldn’t, since the brothers have found themselves at the Jewish Museum instead of the synagogue, but after much arguing, they find the synagogue, commercial, finally.

Back to Budapest. From afar, Firashira and Hen/Alon decide to **** with the brothers. They tell them that Anakiva said it’s down by the riverside, and as the congratulate themselves, the boys are not fooled. They stupidly run past the brothers in the opposite direction (the hell?) and get the roadblock clue in fourth and fifth.

Ice blocks. Akiva is tired. Moti is beauty-queen waving at the ladies. All is normal. Much more beating up of the ice and Pundak gets the clue, a photo of a bridge, which is the Elizabeth Bridge. Hen/Alon arrive at the ice blocks, and Alon will attack this, of course, with glee, probably imagining half the racers’ heads embedded in the ice. And Firashira are here too, and of course Firass will do it. Women yell, men hack. Hen and Shira start a chant for their partners that is way more annoying than Shushi. Trash-talking, and it’s pleasant neither in
English nor Hebrew, so I’ll leave it be. Akiva finishes, and lots of celebrating.

Elsewhere, banjo music plays as the blondes wander aimlessly around Budapest with their drunk drifter, who stops to give the camera a concert. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? This isn’t MTV. The brothers seem to have a better grip on the task and are making up time. The Yemenites fuss over a ginger and Osnat proposes marriage and channels her inner Brooke and says she’s never kissed so much in her life. The blondes, having had no success at all in comprehending this task, having chased their Homeless Herzl all around town. He is now done with the crazy ladies. Commercial.

And we’re back, with Bakers seeking Herzl. As in the person. Oh dear, this doesn’t look too good. You can already see the sun setting behind them. Brothers make it to the ice and start smashing, and unlike the others, Oren’s approaching this methodically by carving out the clue with the heel rather than just going to town on the thing. The girls look over in amusement, but Alon gets the clue next, and then Oren’s strategy works as they pass up the two other teams and pull the photo from the ice, now firmly in the front of the pack, as Alon says correctly in the cab.

Bridge. Facebook arrives and they must count the rails on the bridge, then use that number to unlock a clue box lock. Anakiva arrives soon after and they count. Back at the ice, Osnat’s taking the roadblock, and having and is the first woman to attempt this task. Good on you, Osi. Firass gets the photo next, and Tom/Adele? Looking pretty foolish. Osnat, again, tries to help Tom, who brushes her off. How about you just keep your eyes on your own papers? Lots of hammering…and Osnat passes Tom. Wow, he really sucks at this task. He gets it, but they’re now in seventh place.

Good lord, I’ve been translating for an hour and half now – time for bed. The rest of this episode in the morning.

Drake:

--- Quote from: Jai Ho on November 16, 2011, 02:06:34 AM ---Good lord, I’ve been translating for an hour and half now – time for bed. The rest of this episode in the morning.
--- End quote ---
Can't wait :))

ZBC Company:
if anyone link for youtube just send me something send link

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