An Open Letter to CBS:
Dear CBS,
Perhaps you've been watching the various websites that report on, or are fans of, your show "Big Brother". Perhaps not. But I can summarize them for you in three words.
THIS CAST SUCKS. At this point, we are presented with:
A Delusional, number-obsessed stalker
A Booger-Eating, Testicle Scratching ogre youknowwhatimean?
A Pink Haired "gay porn" star.
A "45-year old" "single mother" "KNOW THIS" who knows only five "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" phrases "YOU'RE BLOWING MY MIND RIGHT NOW."
A Blob of Human Flesh, who, aside from injuring himself, does nothing but eat, and is only there because his girlfriend (who was the first one voted out) wanted to be on the show.
The Bible-Reading Marine Brat Mole. By the way, that show (the Mole) is already on another network, and was canceled quickly the first time around.
At this point, you can redeem yourself in two ways.
1) Please make intelligent casting decisions when it comes to Big Brother 10. i.e people with multiple brain cells who can plan and scheme without needing to have dreams about it.
2) Take the unused Nuke from Jericho and explode it in the house with the current house guests, after rescuing the only redeeming creatures in the house, the Guinea Pigs.
Signed,
A BB fan at wit's end.