OK - first things first - this post is meant to be humorous, and is not intended to be disrespectful, demeaning, sacreligious, or in any way hurtful to any one. If this offends someone, that's on me, and I apologize.
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<Heaven, office of The Almighty>
Angel : Excuse me, omnificient creator of the universe...
God : I've told you 48,371,294,388,002 times, a simple "God" is sufficient.
Angel : Yes, great ominiscient, uhm, I mean, yes, God.
God : So what can I do for you?
Angel : Sir, there was a crane collapse in NYC...
God : Yes, I know. What of it?
Angel : Well, I thought you might want to send some help to the search teams...
God : Let Gabriel take care of it. I'm watching Big Brother.
Angel : Sir?
God : Yes, this Natalie girl, she needs my help.
Angel : Yes sir, all the humans do...
God : No, she especially needs my help. The HOH competition is coming up.
Angel : But sir, isn't she the stripper with the abortions and the big...
God : Heart. Yes, she is, but let the one without sin toss the first stone. Sit down, Jesus, it's just an expression.
Angel : Ok, but there's also these tornados in Atlanta.
God : Look, we have an entire Natural Disasters division to take care of those.
Angel : Yes, but they could use some extra help...
God : Well, fine, send Mary.
Angel : Sir, she's out appearing as a stain under a bridge in Chicago.
God : I wish she would stop that.
Angel : Sir, if you don't mind my asking, why are taking such an interest in this year's show? I mean last year, there was Amber...
God : The whiny one? Ugh, she irritated me to no end. Besides that, she never asked, she just told me what to do. I HATE being told what to do.
Angel : OK, then Jameka.
God : Look don't question me, I might have to punish you.
Angel : You'll send me to hell?
God : Worse, I'll put you on the cast for Big Brother 10.
Angel : <shudders> That won't be necessary, sir, I was just leaving.