'Amazing Race' gay wedding sparks rift
The city's biggest marriage of the year will have it all -- politicians, celebrities and a little controversy
By ANN MARIE McQUEEN - Ottawa Sun
OTTAWA - Ottawa is welcoming him -- and his gay wedding -- with open arms.
But 23-year-old Alex Ali, who on Wednesday will marry his live-in boyfriend of five years, 30-year-old Lynn Warren III, is still searching for that kind of support from his own father.
Though the rest of Ali's family knew he was gay, though he had lived with Warren for years, they sheltered his Egyptian-born dad from the truth right up until just after Ali and Warren finished filming CBS' The Amazing Race 7. Ali finally told his father at the last possible minute, over the phone, forced to because he was about to begin a round of post-ejection media interviews.
"He responded just the way I knew he would, with shock and blaming himself and blaming me and everybody," he says. "It has caused all the problems in my family that I knew it would."
Consequently, only one of Ali's older sisters will be at his wedding, with his American-born mother and his other sister staying away to avoid further family rifts. The hard part is heading to a city bent on celebrating his orientation while his father refuses to even acknowledge it.
Hard, but as Ali points out, no different than what many gay people go through with their own families every day. And eye-opening, since he has had to learn to accept homophobia from those closest to him, and respect their position nonetheless.
"It has also given me a lot of courage because it took a huge weight off my shoulders," he says. "And now that it's out in the open and really out in the open, like national TV out in the open, I feel like I'm free to live my life the way I want."
The couple agree that if they were to expect parental objections from any corner, it would be from Warren's Republican Baptist parents. Though they would probably vote against gay marriage, Warren says they came through when he came out to them at 21, and have ever since.
"My dad being in the military for 25 years I was really worried about how he would take it," says Warren. "But the first words he said were, 'I just want you to know that I will always love you and this doesn't make any difference.' "
Warren's parents can't come to the wedding either, as his father is undergoing chemotherapy for lymphomic cancer and recovering from open heart surgery. They will, however, send a taped message of support.
About 40 friends and family are expected to show up, mingling among about 400 invited guests expected, including politicians, Race contestants including winners Joyce and Uchenna Agu, and a couple of celebrities that are being kept under wraps. Warren and Ali are fervently hoping Rosie O'Donnell, who gave them a cruise after they were booted off Race, is among them.
And lest anyone fear the Los Angeles-based pair are getting sick of all the attention, Warren sing-songs his words over the phone from a speaking engagement in Portland, Ore.
"Lo-ove it. Love it!" he says. "Are you kidding me, talking about yourself for hours on end."
The couple first met at a bar, which, they confirm, is like winning the gay lottery.
Warren says he knew from the beginning they were supposed to spend their lives together, while Ali figured he was too young for that to happen and took awhile to warm up to the idea. Nonetheless, they moved in together within days of meeting, fell in love, and started out working in the entertainment business as production assistants.
They worked their way up and were producers at A&E's controversial show Intervention -- where families have dramatic confrontations to stop an out-of-control member's drug or alcohol addiction -- when a Race casting person told them they should apply for the seventh season of the adventure reality series.
Fearing Race producers would suspect them of having an unfair advantage, they lied on their applications when listing their jobs as executive assistants. They later confessed, but when Race took them on the "executive assistant" tags remained.
They left their jobs at Intervention and have been cruising along post-show on speaking engagements, appearances and their upcoming wedding ever since.
They are also planning to continue working in television. The week after the wedding they are meeting with L.A.-based Evolution Studios to seriously discuss their pitch for a gay travel show.
The long-term plan is to adopt a child.
But first, a week in the capital, and a marriage.
Warren and Ali stress the celebration is about their love and no one's political agenda. Still, they can't help but hope the millions of Americans who watched and loved them on Race will pay attention -- and get the message.
"If they know about our marriage and us going to Canada, I think it will open more minds rather than just trying to shove it down their throat," says Ali.
"We're not trying to force it on you, we're going to Canada to do it our way. Maybe that will change somebody's mind."
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http://jam.canoe.ca/Television/2005/05/28/1060089.html