"We fight a lot and we laugh a lot"
REALITY TV couple Sarah and James say a nine-year age gap and constant fights keeps their relationship exciting.
SARAH ROZA, 33
"I married young. I met my husband at 16 but, by 2007, I realised we were different people to who we'd been then and we split up. I threw myself into work; I'm a beauty therapist with two of my own salons and, after work, I'd often take my laptop to a nearby bar where James worked. I started noticing he was cute.
One night in late 2008, we started chatting. He was putting together a new cocktail menu and got me to try his creations - I was soon drunk. After that, I'd always chat to him when I went in. He used to listen to me talking; he was paid to, so he didn't have a choice!
It never occurred to me that we'd be anything other than friends. He was easy to talk to and I liked that he told it to me straight, whereas a lot of guys told me what they thought I wanted to hear. After being with the same person for so long, I wanted to go out and have fun. And James was often the person I'd go out with.
But we were just friends for a long time. He was wary of me having split up with my husband and didn't want to be the rebound guy. And I was still adjusting to being single.
Even when we did finally get together, in January 2011, it was in dribs and drabs. It was very intense, then we'd back off. We categorised ourselves as 'friends with benefits' for a while. We see ourselves as boyfriend and girlfriend now, but it's not as if we sat down and said, "OK, from now on, we're in a proper relationship." It just evolved.
I was up-front about how old I am, but it's never been an issue. Because I'm in the beauty business, I always make an effort with my appearance and I act younger than I am, and James seems older than he is, so we meet in the middle. A lot of people see it as a 'cougar and toy boy' type of thing, but let them think what they want; we just enjoy each other's company.
That said, our relationship has always been volatile. We both think we're right all the time. Once I've decided something is happening, it's my way or the highway and nothing will change my mind, which James finds difficult.
We're always fighting - there isn't one day that goes past when we don't - but I don't see it as a bad thing. I'd rather James spits out what's troubling him as opposed to holding it in. When I was married, I'd keep my mouth shut, but now I don't care about ruffling feathers. If James annoys me, I'll tell him. And vice versa. We fight a lot, but we laugh a lot, too. No one can make me laugh like James can. We've split up a few times, but it never lasts for long. We're like magnets - we can't leave each other alone.
Going on The Amazing Race Australia was difficult because you have to be no more than six metres apart for the duration of the race and we drove each other nuts. There were times when we wanted to kill each other, but five minutes later, we were laughing. It brought us closer together; if we can survive that, we can survive anything.
Will we get married? Never say never, but I'm happy with things the way they are. If he drives me crazy, I can take off. But I always come back because I value his opinion. He keeps me on my toes - that's our secret. The downfall of many relationships is becoming too comfy. Our relationship may not be everyone's style, but it works for us."
JAMES KINGSBURY, 24
"Our relationship is like deep-sea diving - you see lots of beautiful fish and you enjoy it but, every now and then, you need a breath of fresh air. We can't stand each other's company for more than a few hours. She talks all the time. I tune out; I've developed selective hearing.
Our relationship takes a lot of energy on both our parts, but no matter how many flaws I see in Sarah, I still genuinely enjoy spending time with her. Sure, sometimes she'll go a bit psycho and I'll need some space, but if you can find someone you still want to hang around with even though they drive you nuts, then you have to be doing something right."
REALITY TV couple Sarah and James say a nine-year age gap and constant fights keeps their relationship exciting.
SARAH ROZA, 33
"I married young. I met my husband at 16 but, by 2007, I realised we were different people to who we'd been then and we split up. I threw myself into work; I'm a beauty therapist with two of my own salons and, after work, I'd often take my laptop to a nearby bar where James worked. I started noticing he was cute.
One night in late 2008, we started chatting. He was putting together a new cocktail menu and got me to try his creations - I was soon drunk. After that, I'd always chat to him when I went in. He used to listen to me talking; he was paid to, so he didn't have a choice!
It never occurred to me that we'd be anything other than friends. He was easy to talk to and I liked that he told it to me straight, whereas a lot of guys told me what they thought I wanted to hear. After being with the same person for so long, I wanted to go out and have fun. And James was often the person I'd go out with.
But we were just friends for a long time. He was wary of me having split up with my husband and didn't want to be the rebound guy. And I was still adjusting to being single.
Even when we did finally get together, in January 2011, it was in dribs and drabs. It was very intense, then we'd back off. We categorised ourselves as 'friends with benefits' for a while. We see ourselves as boyfriend and girlfriend now, but it's not as if we sat down and said, "OK, from now on, we're in a proper relationship." It just evolved.
I was up-front about how old I am, but it's never been an issue. Because I'm in the beauty business, I always make an effort with my appearance and I act younger than I am, and James seems older than he is, so we meet in the middle. A lot of people see it as a 'cougar and toy boy' type of thing, but let them think what they want; we just enjoy each other's company.
That said, our relationship has always been volatile. We both think we're right all the time. Once I've decided something is happening, it's my way or the highway and nothing will change my mind, which James finds difficult.
We're always fighting - there isn't one day that goes past when we don't - but I don't see it as a bad thing. I'd rather James spits out what's troubling him as opposed to holding it in. When I was married, I'd keep my mouth shut, but now I don't care about ruffling feathers. If James annoys me, I'll tell him. And vice versa. We fight a lot, but we laugh a lot, too. No one can make me laugh like James can. We've split up a few times, but it never lasts for long. We're like magnets - we can't leave each other alone.
Going on The Amazing Race Australia was difficult because you have to be no more than six metres apart for the duration of the race and we drove each other nuts. There were times when we wanted to kill each other, but five minutes later, we were laughing. It brought us closer together; if we can survive that, we can survive anything.
Will we get married? Never say never, but I'm happy with things the way they are. If he drives me crazy, I can take off. But I always come back because I value his opinion. He keeps me on my toes - that's our secret. The downfall of many relationships is becoming too comfy. Our relationship may not be everyone's style, but it works for us."
JAMES KINGSBURY, 24
"Our relationship is like deep-sea diving - you see lots of beautiful fish and you enjoy it but, every now and then, you need a breath of fresh air. We can't stand each other's company for more than a few hours. She talks all the time. I tune out; I've developed selective hearing.
Our relationship takes a lot of energy on both our parts, but no matter how many flaws I see in Sarah, I still genuinely enjoy spending time with her. Sure, sometimes she'll go a bit psycho and I'll need some space, but if you can find someone you still want to hang around with even though they drive you nuts, then you have to be doing something right."
>> Series two of The Amazing Race Australia starts May 30, at 9pm, on the Seven Network.