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HaMerotz LaMillion (The Amazing Race Israel) Season 3: HaRecaps (The Recaps)

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Jai Ho:
And I'm back, after a long weekend at a professional conference in Orlando (yes, Jai Ho is a real person sometimes and participates on panels and discusses scholarly stuff with professors and theorists and such...and also almost gets kicked out of the hotel for bringing vino to the pool and fangirls out in a hotel suite full of academics when Koby randomly showed up in this thread). In other news, I will be moving away from Texas next week, so this week will be full of tearful goodbyes and trying to figure out how to fit several hundred books and academic journals into a station wagon. Oh, and a few changes of clothes, a coffee maker, and a broken chair. It'll be rough but I'll try to keep up, if only to placate myself as I prepare to head to a mysterious new location where I will commence studying for my PhD so I can become Dr. Jai Ho (eeep...not ready for that yet)

Fought through the jetlag, if only to present you with this guy:

Episode 22: Fear and Clothing in Las Vegas

Glitter and Darth Vader bring us back to Las Vegas. Just to update, D/D, Purples, and Falafel are looking for couples to marry, and TaKo, Blue Collar, and Sisters are off to the double battle.

Cab. Talia and Koby reminisce over the great love of Jessica and Andrew. They also point out the international-ness of Las Vegas, and how it’s a microcosm of the world. They clearly have not visited World Showcase at Epcot (which I did last week, and it was AWESOME. I ran between countries pretending I was on the race and made a pit stop in Japan where I ate teriyaki salmon.) Sisters, in their cab, are seeking the Strip, and say “strip” about 120 times in a minute.

Inferno Limo. We see a giant honkin’ red limo, where the teams will face off in a game of strip poker. AMERICA. The losers? 15 minutes on the strip in cardboard boxes. Why don’t they just give them graduate degrees while they’re at it? AMERICA.

Double Battle. TaKo vs. Blue Collar. Teams take off clothes, and TaKo are off to a good start, then get a string of bad cards. Koby’s socks smell – more on this story as it develops.

Somewhere in Vegas. Old-timey music must lead us to the oldest lady still in the Race, Debby, and indeed it does. They are still searching for a couple, and Debby’s turning on the charm. Dana is unimpressed and her social awkwardness is really turning her into Dana Downer for the time being. Elsewhere, the Purples have an incredibly awkward English conversation with their Arab taxi driver. Now at the strip, they resort to begging and wheeling and dealing. They hold up the Hebrew clue and the American has no clue what it says. Ma’Ayan bear hugs a lady in an Ohio State sweatshirt and then a bride.

Double Battle. Elvis ft. JXL brings us back to the battle, and now all three men are shirtless. And it’s wonderful for Talia. And me. And most of Israel and the Israeli expat community. Blue Collar gets an ace so it’s ta-ta to Talia’s top. Victory music sounds as Blue Collar beats TaKo 8-2, and they get their next clue, to head to Star Costume, which opens in the morning. But first! Yield Queen board. It’s anybody’s guess as to who they’ll yield and…it’s Talia and Koby?!?! Just kidding, of course it’s Debby/Dana. He man woman haters. They head to a Howard Johnson for the night and wonder if this is the best place the producers could find.

Somewhere in Vegas. Itzik and Eliran are still dumbfounded that they got ditched instead of hitched. “MA’AYAAAAAN!” screams someone, probably Batel, and it is. They find a randomly-matched couple named Bill and Penny, and head off to city hall. Batel gets a little too trigger happy in the cab, and since they’re so packed in, the producers probably can’t reach her Xanax, so their mulleted cab driver tells her to shut it.

Double Battle. TaKo vs. Romi/Michele. Lady Gaga provides mood music. The gals are in heavier clothes, so they have more (or less?) to lose. The Black Eyed Peas lead us to a montage of stripping in which we get the sisters down to their bras and panties. All seems lost, but then…bam, the girls get lucky, and make a comeback. It comes down to a king for the ladies and a 2 for the couple, so the sisters are now in second place. Talia is not a happy camper. The free-thinking sisters will provide us with an interesting choice as always, and this time, they gravitate towards Blue Collar, who are shown exercising in their hotel room. Howard Johnson for them, and they’re out of the episode with over a half hour to go.

Somewhere in Vegas. D/D walk hand-in-hand past KISS and beeline to a bespectacled couple who look vaguely Asian/Native American, and Dana praises her mother’s chutzpah for once.

City Hall. Debby confuses “excited” with “exciting,” giving herself undue praise. The purples are also there.

Somewhere in Vegas. Falafel find a magician, and employ the “get everyone’s attention” strategy, and they ambush a random couple, about whom we learn nothing while they shove them into a cab.

Chapel. Silly music must mean that Batel and Ma’Ayan are coming anon, and that they are. Bill hugs Penny, so Ma’Ayan sees that as an excuse to hug…everyone. Not that she needs an excuse. D/D enter the wedding dress warehouse room, and Debby must, of course, look for a dress for herself. Batel claims bride, so Ma’Ayan must be the man. She then calls the bride Fiona, which is either a funny mistake or a horribly insulting Shrek reference. Over at Debby/Dana, their bride has a mini dress while the Debby is diva’d out in a floor length gown. She contemplates marriage as she applies her lipstick, and one gets the impression that this is an activity she does on a regular basis. Batel has an ugly 70s dress, while Ma’Ayan and Dana look foxy in their suits. In an interview, Debby/Dana sing an off-key wedding march. We learn that the Purples’ couple is Bill and Patty, not Penny…screw you, captioners! D/D’s vaguely Asian couple is Ira and Maddy. Wedding speech time, and if this was a double battle, nobody wins. Ma’Ayan and Batel barely speak English, lacking pronouns and making odd nonhuman noises. Debby’s got a better handle on English, but then mentions how, like this couple, she married a Canadian…and then they got divorced. Make your own Debby Downer joke here. Little Peggy March sings as the couples kiss, and of course, the purples must dance and call their bride Fiona once more, and hug everyone in Las Vegas, and Debby does another dress twirl and leads the hora.

City Hall. Badly-In-Need-of-Lipstick-License-Lady makes her last cameo, and the Falafels head to the chapel. The groom has a guitar. Eliran is bored. When he gets hitched, everyone go to his wedding and so the Makayla Maroney. This couple is seen reading their vows. He (Nicholas) seems sincere, but she (Julie) seems a little strung out. Itzik says a wedding speech that probably neither the bride nor groom understand. They get a Hebrew song. I guess the producers ran out of American wedding songs? Groom Nicholas then sings to his bride, who looks on floppily.

Limo. All we have left are three double battles, so this should end pretty quickly.

Double Battle: TaKo taking on D/D. We do not, however, get to see how Debby Does Vegas, because take off her clothes, she does not. Madonna sings “Material Girl” and that must mean the girls win. Indeed, D/D only lose their footwear, leaving Koby and Talia all “holy effing ****.” At the Yield Queen board, it’s a second vote for David/Eliran.

Double Battle: TaKo vs. Purples. Talia’s all “so lovely to see you.” She also looks carsick. You would be too if you had to ride around all night in that thing. We get Donna Summer to accompany us as Koby rapidly disrobes and Talia’s all, “the hell, Koby?” (that one’s for Talia ;-)) The tide seems to turn, and the floor of the limo becomes littered with purple garb as Hot Chocolate sings to us. We are getting a crash course in one-hit wonders tonight. The girls decide that they can take off no more, and Talia actually starts crying. The hell, Talia? (That one’s for Koby ;-)) The cameramen must be getting lax because we get two long montages where we see equipment, one with Talia telling her Ethiopian taxi driver about Itzik, and another where Falafel  practices counting with their Jamaican cab man. Practice makes perfect, guys. Maybe before this race is over, you’ll learn how many fingers old you are! Hint: get extra hands. TaKo vote for D/D, tying this thing up.

Double Battle: Purples vs. Falafel, for all the marbles. Falafel have previously done a naked task, so this would ironic if they lost. This one’s actually an interesting one, as both teams have roughly the same levels of intelligence and maturity. And…we get to see Batel in her panties! Yay! This is the girl who swam in a dress. And the final cards are drawn, giving the purples a win. They pick D/D, giving them their third vote, complete with doom music. But what if Falafel vote for Blue Collar? What happens then. SUSPENSE.

Streets of Las Vegas. Petula Clark (a BRIT) leads us to our naked Falafel friends traversing the streets in embarrassingly written cardboard boxes. A granny in pink peeks under Itzik’s box, and it’s uncomfortable for everyone but him. They go in a diner which clearly has no dress code, and get their clue. At the Yield Queen Board, they go straight for Blue Collar, giving them their first “dun dun dun” of the race. End of ep.

Next Time: Fun with obesity! Intersection! Disgustingly large hamburgers! Itzik still hasn’t learned English. AMERICA.

Jai Ho:
Took a quick break from packing to finish up this episode - this will probably be the last recap written in the Lone Star State. This episode actually made me hungry...going to grab a quick bite at my favorite Houston diner, probably for the last time :(
---

Episode 23: Heart Disease Hotel

Everything’s bigger in America? Texas begs to differ. Jus’ sayin.

Credits.

Vegas. It looks lackluster in the morning. David/Eliran look forward to new challenges. Romi/Michele are seething about David/Eliran. Romi says “Vegas Baby!” You know what that means. I’m drinking club soda tonight so I’ll probably have to stop and pee a few times.

Costume Shop. Blue Collar and Sisters get their clue, which tells them to dress up in one 7XL outfit, hail a cab, and go to Roxy’s Diner to eat a burger. D/D arrive and suit up. The sisters are in a wine-colored ensemble, and David/Eliran can’t help but laugh at their own purple outfit. D/D seem to get a move on in their red ensemble. Blue Collar bounces across the street. D/D get some laughs from the crowd. They high-five a jogger, and then Dana trips and falls, bringing her team to a stop.

Cab. Talia comments that Las Vegas in the daytime looks like Gymboree. The hell, Talia? In the Purples cab, they’re all “Vegas woo!” Eliran, in the Falafel cab, is homesick and disenchanted with the city. That’s what you get for waking up in Vegas.

Costume Shop. TaKo compare themselves to Humpty Dumpty as they head out in green. Talia compares it to wearing a jean skirt in religious school, which I can totally see. Elsewhere, Coral takes a tumble and TaKo gamely help them up. Fat people need love too. Here come Falafel, hopping along in yellow. In another part of town, D/D are still on the ground. They get up though, and have a funny fat person race with Blue Collar and the Sisters, claiming the first cab. Falafel get lucky and find a cab. Blue Collar wonder where everyone went off to. Sisters get a cab in third.

Diner. D/D attempt to exit their cab with grace, but fail. A friendly passerby ties their shoes, hopefully not together. Clue box. It’s an Intersection. The ladies hope a boy team comes, but it’s Romi/Michele, and the girls…don’t want to work together. Hopping in in third are Itzik/Eliran, whom D/D are quite happy to intersect with. Their task: eat a giant burger and cola together. Ah, supersizing. They walk past a bunch of diners and get settled at a table. The camera shows us a particularly corpulent American. I wonder if the producers found him specifically for this task. Mom/Daughter/Falafel get their burger and dig in. Debby’s all about the ketchup, but neither she nor Itzik can open it after some serious trying. Israelis do love their ketchup.

Streets of Vegas. TaKo ask a local pet shop owner for a taxi, and they have to resort to a phonebook. Elsewhere, Blue Collar snag a cab, as well as the Purples.

Diner. In toddle the Blue Collars, and Romi/Michele flag them over, but the boys are set on helping out Ma’Ayan and Batel, rather than start now with the sisters, because who knows how long it’ll be before the cousins show up. In come said cousins, and since the sisters want to get it over with and the boys are not cooperating, they snag the cousins. Romi Smarty-Huge-Ass-Pants calls Batel and Ma’Ayan Yemenites instead of Persians. Unlike the every-man-for-himself approach of the other group, the ladies opt to slice pieces for each team member, with Romi doing the slicing. Meanwhile, TaKo arrive and are paired with the boys by default. Debby joke that Talia won’t be able to handle the meat, but she shows her who’s boss when Koby, David, and Eliran task her with eating the buns. Montage of teams eating. Despite starting last, David/Eliran/Koby/Talia finish their burger first and get their next clue, which is to go to Dino’s Lounge, where they will dress up as Elvis and do an Elvis act. Also featured: Yield board! In the cab, David/Eliran feel bad for their friends, but a race is a race.

Dino’s. Yield board, and the newlyweds are safe. They get suited up as Elvis. On their iPad, they must learn “Hound Dog,” and dance to it.

Diner. Team Mom/Daughter/Falafel finish, with the girls soon after. Romi/Michele call over Falafel and D/D and tell them about Blue Collar’s bitch move. They engage in a dish session about the boys, about which the cousins are uncomfortable.

Yield board. Blue Collar? Yielded. They suit up in blue Elvis costumes.

Elvis task. TaKo are ready to perform for him. They clearly do not know the words, and they have little to no rhythm. Talia attempts a pose a la Saturday Night Fever – wrong decade. He tells them they need to practice. Elsewhere in Vegas, D/D are hopelessly looking for a cab when a lady in pink offers to help. Debby promptly yells at her. And Americans are the ugly ones? Back at the Elvis, the blue suede Blue Collar boys sing “Blue Suede Shoes.” They have some pretty good rhythm and skills at performing, and even get the judge to dance with them. Victory for them, and they head off in first. Their next clue tells them to head to Golden Gate Casino. They duck into several stores, hoping someone will help them get a taxi. Eliran is particularly titillated by a sex shop.

Yield board. Neither Romi/Michele nor Ma’Ayan/Batel are yielded. They suit up as Elvis. Their song is “All Shook Up.” They don’t know this song, but they pay attention to the video. The cousins get “Hound Dog,” and they don’t even know Elvis.

Streets of Vegas. D/D and Falafel are still plodding along the road in search of a taxi. In their cab, Debby offers Dana some Orbit to rid themselves of burger breath. Eliran sings and scratches Itzik’s nose.

Elvis task. TaKo are on their second try, and they shake it up a bit more this time, and even get the lyrics down. Their judge shows mercy and gives them the clue, and they head off. In their cab, Blue Collar note that the sisters are a threat, under the radar. At the task, Elvis practices with each of the girl teams that have arrived. Up first are Romi/Michele, and they get into it and don’t sound too bad, getting the words pretty well. Ma’Ayan/Batel break it down pretty well, but not so much with the English. Back at the Yield board, Falafel are safe, and D/D are not. Usual suspects. Dana even comments that this is getting old. They get “Blue Suede Shoes.” Eliran remarks how odd Itzik looks as Elvis, because Elvis was white. Oh dear, I’m already face-palming for their attempt at “Hound Dog.” Back at the task, it sounds like Ma’Ayan is singing about a hot dog. Romi/Michele get the clue and Romi Know-it-All comments on the “Elvis lives” myth. Ma’Ayan, upon getting the clue, must hug Elvis, and they get a cab, where she babbles to the driver about being from Mea Shearim with her ringlets.

Elvis task. Debby, the only racer old enough to have had Elvis have any impact on her upbringing (ok, she’s not THAT old, but she’s a little closer in age to Elvis), comments that she loves Elvis. They completely butcher their song, and get instructed to do it again. This judge means business. Here come Eliran and Itzik, and this is already a disaster. First, they don’t know the difference between “sound” and “song,” and then they think they’re singing about “Ando.” They don’t even try to get the lyrics, and just go “wady wady wa,” to which Elvis cuts them off and is all, back to square one for you. Their second try is just as bad, and now they probably wish they paid more attention in English class. Debby and Dana head up for their second try, and they do sound better. They get their clue. And…third try for Falafel. They still mumble the lyrics, but at least they dance better. Elvis is displeased with their butchering of his song, but gives them a pity clue, literally, because I think if he didn’t give it to them until they learned the song lyrics correctly, he would have to come back from the dead several more times.

Next Time: Revolving doors! Partner-carrying! Base jumping! Everyone looks pissed off because apparently this leg isn’t over – I feel you on that one.

stekay:
It's amazing how Ma'ayan & Bat-el have now won two legs on the trot after being yielded twice. Would love to be able to watch this.

Andre:

--- Quote from: SteKay on August 12, 2013, 09:15:39 AM ---It's amazing how Ma'ayan & Bat-el have now won two legs on the trot after being yielded twice. Would love to be able to watch this.

--- End quote ---
Yep they're a slow starter <3

Maxine Rama:
Omg Ma'ayan/Bat-El to be the next Bar/Inna <3

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