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America's Got Talent 5

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apskip:
Here we go again with AGT5 starting tomorrow night. The judges are Piers Morgan, Sharon Osbourne and Howie Mandel replacing David Hasselhoff.  Who knows why Hasselhoff is out? I hope it was because he has been a milquetoast spineless judge afraid to tell acts why they do not measure up. Let's see what Howie Mandel can do. If he proves to be not from the same mold maybe it will inspire Sharon to be more honest.

Nick Cannon, when not acting as Mariah Carey's husband or performing as a comic, has a reprise of his role for AGT4 as host.

I look forward to season 5 with great anticipation. I have to say once again that last season's victory of Kevin Skinner, who had a soulful personality but was frequently off pitch, was embarrassing to the voters on this show.

TexasLady:
 :hearts:  Something to watch! Thanks apskip.

apskip:
I am issuing this on a provisional basis. There are some blanks which I have to go back and fill in, but I did not want to lose the writing I have already completed.

We know that America's Got Talent, but how much talent do this year's judges have in judging? What is the impact of the replacement of David Hasselhoff ( a singer and hunk) by Howie Mandel (a comedian) going to have on AGT5? Those are the questions uppermost in my mind right now. The first episode of AGT5 has provide some answers. As I expected, Howie Mandel is a new broom sweeping fresh air into AGT judging. Piers Morgan has not changed; he is honest and calls it look he sees it. I saw a tendency for Sharon Osbourne to follow Howie's lead and be less bleeding heart. One factor that obscures what is really happening is that NBC decided to pick up the pace of this show and replace a combination of too many bad acts and manic compression of some acts with a steadier diet of mostly good acts. This season the Preliminary Rounds were in Los Angeles, New York, Chicago, Portland and Dallas but I did not hear Atlanta. I envision without any real statement by those making decisions about AGT5 that many bad acts will be compressed from multiple venues into one or two shows and the rest ignored, for there were thousands auditioning in Los Angeles and only about 30 were highlighted in the Los Angeles episode. The winner of AGT5 will be the headliner for a new show in Las Vegas.

GOOD ACTS (as judged by the AGT5 Judges)
The start of this episode 1 was the act Future Funk, a cute 9 year old with fabulous dance moves and a 5 year old who could synchronize with him quite well. This was very compelling act and I predict they will be going far in this competition.

Swing Shift Side Show - a variety of different sub-acts including stapling a guy's chest, using a drill to a guy's nose, putting a needle through a woman's cheeks and sword swallowing done with excellent execution. Howie says that "you can't even afford the other side of the haircut to the one with hair on only one side of his head. NIck Cannon implores that you "don't try this at home." Howie says "wow." Piers calls it compulsively compelling. Sharon thinks it goes too far, but she is outvoted and they are moving forward.

Ring Masters -  2 males 26 and 22,  dancers who do pantomime and twisting an arm into unbelievable positions

Mona Sampath Company - a gaggle of dancers whose aim to "bring Bollywood to Hollywood" was achieved

Mark male aged 28 - belly dancer

Kung Fu Heroes - 6 guys aged 18 - 32 - martial arts combined with acrobatics; Piers - absolutely bloody terrifying

HasPop, age 32 - street mime and dancer. Nick calls him zany.

Marjcar, female age 38 - in sadomasochistic costume, she paints three overlapping clear panels to make a portrait of herself. Sharon calls this act stunning and says that it is the quietest these two (Piers and Howie) have been all day.

Hannibal Means male age 59 - He plays the piano and sings the tune to Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah. He is pretty good but  has diva flourishes like Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston do ( and which I as a singer detest). However, Sharon and Howie like him so he's going forward. Piers disliked him because his piano playing is immature.

Cheer SF adult  cheerleading team aged 19 - 52-  this is a rah-rah group of athletic and synchronized cheerleaders.

Danyavaad and the Shimmy Sisters mixed group age 22 to 39 - dancing with drums and a python

Michael Lipari and Ashleigh Dijon, age 29 and 30, aerialists

Dead Off Center - 4 young lads aged 14 or 15 who are musicians with 3 guitars and one singer.

Roninth - male aged 58, an impersonator who does the voices of Marlon Brando, Clint Eastwood, James Bond and Arnold Schwarzenegger. He also uses costumes to convey those characters. Howie tells him that he can do a better job by forgetting the costumes and focusing on the voices, at which he is a huge talent. Piers gets to use his one-liner of the night here, as he forced Howie to say "Deal or No Deal."

the New Directions Veterans Chorus is a very talented vocal group that came with a very interesting storyline. They were all homeless military veterans who somehow found this group and got their lives turned around by music. They have great musical talent as well as the emotion, inspiration and passion and I would say that right now they are the front runners in this competition.

Michael Grimm age 30, singer in bars and small restaurants in Las Vegas area; he is doing this competition to possibly be able to help his grandmother (who raised him but needs help now) financially. Piers states that Michael has a lot of talent. Howie states his expectation that Michael will continually reach for more and more in his future performances and not just sit back on a stool and play his guitar accompaniment.

BAD ACTS (as judged by the AGT5 Judges)
Ranses Valentt - he was doing a falsetto voice, which sounded eerie and unpleasant.

Timor and the Dime Museum - aged 22 to 57 musicians with Timor doing the lead in falsetto voice for "vaudevillian operatic fantasy"; it was weird and crappy

Dare to Flair - 8 bartenders doing bad juggling/tossing

Luis Atanasi + 2 dancers doing some Latin dance to songs of the 1980s and 1990s - little talent here

Chainsaw Chicks - 3 women aged 18 to 30does cutting ice with chain saws strike you as displaying great talent? It didn't to the judges either.

Evan Berent male aged 72 - hip hop dancer; he is good for his age but so what? it looks better when Nick comes out after his elimination and does a brief duo act with him.

Kevin Nevin, aged 54 - uses whips and sings, a bad combination given his hands and voice.

No Shade - aged 22, they did complete flips and good dancing, but their singing was abominable.

Noteworthy, aged 20 to 22, all University of California - Berkeley students who create an absolute cacophony that Piers referred to by sending them back to school and that the name of which is not "America's got Annoying Little Geeks."  

Christopher and the Crystoppers, male aged 47 who sings badly while on roller skates.

apskip:
Episode 2 took place in Dallas.  Howie is expecting the talent to be as big as the state of Texas.

GOOD ACTS (as voted by at least 2 of the judges)

It opens with Arbortax, 3 guitarists starting and the judges feigning looks of complete surprise that nothing significant is happening. Just you wait! A fourth guy goes behind some controls and a 5th in a beekeeper type suit goes and gets his helmet (which must have been hidden under the top of the suit) zapped from either side with bolts of electricity, making his helmet effectively a lightning rod. This is spectacular, like nothing ever seen on AGT before! The judges declare it incredible.  Howie states that "this is what it would be if MIT had a marching band!" As a graduate of that fine institution, I do not find it an apt analogy. Artortax was much more entertaining than an MIT marching band would be. Howie also stated "it's so different, so amazing and unique." Piers agrees: "one of the most incredible auditions I have seen in my lifetime."

Jeremy the genital daredevil - he uses host  Nick to light an explosion that takes place inside his underpants despite NIck trying to get Piers and Howie to nix him. Two judges had buzzed him but one changed their mind and he is going to the next round (where he won't last long).

Bob and Penny Durst and the Muttley Crew - this is a very cute dog act. The most impressive stunts by the dogs were to line up 7 across, then have a seventh go under them in the tunnel created their legs followed by leaping over them. I rate them as adorable and predict they will go far in this competition. The judges love them too.

Le Freak - musicians aged 39 to 54 with big hair and a fun attitude

Chip Townsend and his Team Chip martial arts academy  age 9 to 44- they make martial arts moves and he breaks a tall stack of bricks. Howie tells Chip that in the next round he wants to see more breaking things.

Erin Go Braughless age 25- a fleshy burleque queen who finishes up in Piers' lap.

Taylor Matthews  age 18 - if you looked carefully behind the judges from the on-stage camera angles, the first row of the audience was composed of some very beautiful young women who appear to be fans of his. He is the heartthrob of this competition with his original version of Over the Rainbow in a quality tenor voice and decent guitar accompaniment.

At this point, there are several bad acts, which caused Nick to state that the Dallas auditions had hit rock-bottom and had nowhere to go but up, which to nobody's surprise the producers made it look that way by the order of TV show presentation.

Ms. Donna - a twirler of flaming Samoan knives who is a semi-blind momma. This scares the judges and front rows of the audience with the possibilities of an accident. Howie want to get out of the room. Piers finds it oddly exciting. Two votes are found to send her to the next round.

CJ Peppa age 11 - he raps, he writes some lyrics, he dances. This is a cute multi-talented kid. There will be room for him until crunch time in the later rounds.


BAD ACTS (as voted by at least 2 of the judges)

Jenna Arlene Soma, age 23 -  a singer who has a nice lower range but a screech when only up to about high C. She is out quickly, with Sharon stating that the only thing missing in her act was the pole (used by pole dancers) and Piers identifying her lyrics ("You're No Good") as his summary of her talent. She wears a very tight skirt, which motivated Howie to borrow $1 off an audience member to present to her s a tip.

Ray Sanders, age 62 - band director who plays a unique instrument, the Turkey Baster. Now this is as unique as it ever gets. I have never heard anyone play a classical music piece, much less the William Tell Overture, on a Turkey Baster. However, the judges do not share the same sense of amusement that I have and two of them voted him out because they considered his act to be a turkey.

Nancy LaFancy age 38, a sexy beotch

Jason Andrews, age 23, a magician who places swords into a basket with his apprentice inside, but her wiggling gave away the suspense, so this act fizzled.

Jason Dowty, a bad singer on cruise ships


So the good acts televised outnumbered the bad ones by 9 to 5 and in the first episode it was 16 to 9.

TexasLady:
Thanks for the recaps apskip! I missed the first one, have the 2nd one on the DVR so we can watch this weekend.  :tup:

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