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Benjamin Wade

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puddin:
Ben “Coach” Wade: “It’s hurt me; I’m human” and “I’m not really like that in real life"

This morning, I talked to Survivor Tocantins biggest character, Ben Wade, known on the show as Coach. He was by far the most entertaining and controversial player, and I was glad to finally be able to talk with him and challenge him on what we saw. He was friendly and even occasionally humble as he both defended himself and discussed his behavior.
Ben said that his “confidence perceived as arrogance was kind of my way to psyche myself up. I’m not really like that in real life and I can certainly laugh at myself,” adding that, “I don’t mind laughing at myself.” He said that it was difficult to watch others talk about him. “Watching the season and seeing people talk about me reminds me of the Chronicles of Narnia, where … [Lucy] can actually hear what other people are thinking about her, and it just totally devastates her. But we know human nature and we know people are going to talk about you, especially when prompted every day by the producers to try to milk that.”
Regarding the way the show brilliantly edited him, Ben said, “I came back thinking, ‘Okay, I played with honor and integrity, I played like a noble warrior, I had some great philosophies coming in, I played different than a lot of characters have played, and I did stay true to my word. I never went against someone I had an alliance with.” So when he watched, he said he thought, “what’s this all about?” But Ben was ultimately okay with it because “it’s probably going to be boring and I wouldn’t get a lot of air time if I would have just been portrayed as a noble warrior. Instead, I created a character that was truly larger than life. It has been tough, but I also think it’s made me a better man, as far as, I know who I am. It’s been an up and down road. It’s hurt me; I’m human,” he said, and then quoted Nietzsche.
I asked him about his claim that he “created a character,” pointing out that if he was not really himself and not authentic, that’d be contrary to his stated claim of being honest and living with integrity. Here’s what he said: “I love your questions. Your articles sometimes have a negative spin toward me, but I think you’re very smart and I like the questions you ask. This is a great question, and I’ll say this: What you saw was one side of my personality that the editors wanted to portray. As far as who I am, that’s one part of it. I am the coach, I am the person that can’t be wrong, even though in real life, of course I can admit when I’m wrong.”
Ben added that we didn’t see him “encouraging everybody” and “giving away my food and eating a minimal amount in the morning and at night so the tribe is strong.” The character was the “dragon slayer,” and he said he thought, “that stuff, let’s ham it up for the camera a little bit.” As to his meditation (I almost typed “medication”) and other mockable moments, he said that’s “based on fact but definitely enlarged.”
As to his other documented lies, Ben disputed them, of course. Addressing Jeff Probst’s claim that Coach told the capture story during casting, he said, “I apologize, Jeff Probst, but you lied, I didn’t tell that story in casting,” saying instead that he summarized it (“I was captured by indigenous people in the Amazon”), adding that Probst’s “attack on my character was a little bit chicken **** because he was just trying to stir up the pot.” Ben said it takes more than 30 minutes to tell the story and that he knows who has heard it, and when he started telling that action hero movie story to his tribemates, “I knew that I would face ridicule” but “there was something in me that I knew that I had to.”
We had only about 12 minutes, which isn’t exactly enough time to go through each disputed claim, but it’s clear to me that Ben believes everything he says is accurate. I started with his initial claim that he wanted to change the game forever by keeping the strong and getting rid of the weak, even though he sometimes did the opposite. He said he came “so close,” and he said, “I know that I had an impact on this game.” I challenged that, pointing out the way things turned out, and Ben said that will become clear during Sunday’s finale, but “we can agree to disagree on this.”
Speaking of the finale, I asked him about the player responsible for voting him out, and Ben called Stephen “a brilliant man” and said, “I respect his mind,” but also said, “I always thought Stephen was sketchy; I don’t want to say that in a negative way.” Coach said that Stephen’s vote “could have been a smart move, and it could not have been. Who’s to say?” Had he stayed, “I don’t think I would have been that much of a factor in physical challenges, because my body was broken at that point, but you never know.”
Anyway, Ben’s claim about holding the record for the longest solo kayaking expedition seems to get the most attention, especially once the editor of Canoe & Kayak magazine insisted that Ben does not hold that record. Here’s what Ben told me: The editor of “Canoe & Kayak, he was not on Paul Caffyn’s supposed 9,000 mile trip. Paul Caffyn is dead, he can’t apply for the Guinness Book of World Records. The current record, by the way, is 245 miles, I think if you guys would have done your research, you would have seen that. I am applying for that record. I didn’t take the trip to do a world record; I did it for myself to get closer to God. It was the media that sensationalized that. As far as breaking the world’s record, did I break 245 miles? Yes. Is it documented? Yes. Nobody can question that.” He added that “Paul Caffyn was a glory hog and he wanted to submit his articles to Canoe & Kayak; I didn’t do that because that’s not what my trip was about.”
There’s are the contradictions that bother me: Ben keeps repeating the claim—he did in our initial conversation—but then claims it was the media’s fault; he says he did the trip “to get closer to God” and that attention isn’t what he cares about but he’s applying for the record. Later, having apparently looked it up, he said the record was 326.28 miles, and he said, “I hope you guys will now eat your words if, in fact, it turns out to be a quote Guinness Book World Record. I never said it was a quote Guinness Book World Record, I said it was a world record. I can debate this stuff all day.”
The biggest lie he told during the show came when Coach and Debbie insisted Sierra had approached them about an alliance, even though we saw it happen the other way around. Coach told me, “I’ll quote you: It’s what we saw, it’s not necessarily the real thing.” He said that Sierra approached him a few days earlier about an alliance. Complimenting her, he said “she was absolutely brilliant, a rare moment of brilliance for Sierra when she laid out the whole game.”
But Ben also acknowledged how it looked on TV. “When I watched the show and saw that become a gray area—whether it was because of editing, or because I was referring to that conversation two days before—it disappointed me. And I was disappointed in myself. I’m not perfect; I’m human. And I was grieved by the fact that it was construed that I lied about something.” He said it was “completely blown out of proportion” and that “in my mind, I didn’t [lie] at the time, but watching the episode,” it suggested otherwise.
Ben said that being on the show and dealing with people’s reactions, never mind being fired from his job, has “been a tough road for me, but now that everything’s said and done, I’m very glad I did it. I think it’s made me a better man, and it’s allowed me to look at myself—even though it’s a negative edit, a villain edit—from other people’s eyes, and I think that’s always good … because it makes you a better person.”

http://www.realityblurred.com/realitytv/archives/survivor_tocantins/2009_May_15_ben_wade_interview

Snooky:
Coach was truly unforgetable!

puddin:
Survivor Exit Interivew: Coach
Posted by LilHil at 2:37PM |  Comment!





Last night marked the end of an era in Survivor: Tocantins as Coach Wade was sent packing. Indeed, the warrior has fallen, the dragonslayer has been slayed! I talked to Coach earlier today and he gave me more than an earful about his thoughts on the way he was precieved by his fellow tribemates, his glorious time on Exile Island and his pick for the big winner. It's a lengthy read so settle in for some serious Coach Wade wisdom...

Hilary: I enjoyed the episode last night..it was quite a turn of events.

Coach: It was epic, it was heroic and I loved every second of it.

Hilary: So did you feel people were respectful of your life experiences, which you shared with the tribe?

Coach: I thought it was kind of hit or miss. You don't see the interaction between myself and JT and Stephen. I closed myself off to a lot of people like Erinn and Taj, so I understand their ridicule. I think that unless you've been there and done that, like one POW talking to me, I wouldnt understand, but him talking to another POW, they would understand each other. That's why Survivor is such a big communuty because we understand what we've been through. I knew when I told that story about the Amazon that people were going to ridicule me and there was a big part of me that didn't want to tell it, but I felt that it needed to be told. Whether it touches somebody somehow and makes them a better person or inspires somebody. I love motivational speaking, I've been doing it for the last thirteen years and never asked a dime for it so if I can have an influence on somebody positively, that makes it all worth it. Down there, I definintely think the producers tried to sow seeds of doubt in everyone's mind, which I'm not really supposed to talk about, but when I told that story people were silent and it took a lot out of me to tell it. I've only told it to three groups of people and it ripped my guts out to tell it. It was a very traumatic time in my life. I still get chocked up just thinking about. It was very tough but for people not to understand and respect it, I understand because if you told me the story I'd say "that's crazy, this is mordern society that doesn't happen," but then my response to that- and I'll shut up in a second and let you ask the next quesiton - if you were dropped off in the top of the Amazon with no radio, no one following, no firearems, what do you think is going to happen? You're going to shake hands with the natives, pet the crocodiles and let the phiranna tickle your belly on the way down? No, you put yourself on the front lines and things are going to happen.

And that's just the beginning! Make the jump for more Coach!


Hilary: So your poem last night, I liked it, I thought it was very...

Coach: I did think it was very appropo and I was very happy that they put it in there. I'm a music conductor and I create music and I love writing music and there's that part of my mind that people don't see. That's why I came in kinda calling myself "the Renassiance Man" I'm not trying to say I'm better than anybody because I don't think I am, in fact it's the contrary, but I love creating things. There's that creative part of my mind. You've got the trumpet player, the conductor, the soccor coach, the jock, the sensitive person. I'm probably more sensitive than anyone else out there...I've have...well enough of the that, but I love creating things so as I was sitting there just thinking about the game and reflecting on it while I was sitting there meditiating I thought this would be good and I like analogies. Of course, I ran with the dragonslayer and I don't really think I'm the dragonslayer and all that kind of dleusional stuff but I thought what a great analogy because we are in battlefield and I love making analogies like that, so anyway I just wrote it in my mind so at tribial I was like Jeff I need to say this and thank god I was able to because if I hadn't told that little poem then it wouldn't have gotten out there. I thought it was very appropro, we're all going to battle and we all hope someone out there will remember our names.

Hilary: Do you feel that it was truly heard and understood by the other members of the tribe?

Coach: Yea, I know you got all the eye rolls and all that kind of stuff but I've been told by every peson that was there, "wow, that was actually good." Everyone thought I would be pontificating about my own greatness or whatever and they were really surprised at that. Even the biggest naysayers, the biggest eye rollers, the biggest gaggers, they've all told me "wow, that was actually good."

Hilary: So have you remained friends with any of your tribemates?

Coach: Nah, we've talked very briefly and they wanted to tell me they liked the poem but for the most part we don't have any contact with anybody.

Hilary: There were a couple of times there when Jeff sort of nudged you about your stories and the poem. How do you feel about the way he treated you?

Coach: I love Jeff.He's very intuiative. Actually I think we're a lot alike. You know what he wanted to do every tribal was get people on their heels. You what you don't at tribal, he would ask me a question and try to box me in and I'd knock it out of the park. And he'd look at me like "ok, this is an unusual postion" and then he'd say "ok, so Candace, tell me about the challenge yesterday," and totally change subjects. So I think that he and I both liked coming to tribal and verbally sparring with each other. Did he insult me? Yea, that's his job. Did he cast doubt as to the validatity of my testimony? Yea, that's his job. Did it suck when he did it? Yea, but you know what, he's out there pumping up the dragonslayer every chance that he can and I'm like "ok I think this guy is the man." I had a really good repoire with him and it's his job to make it sensational and to ferret out the truth and cause dispersion and doubt on everybody. So he was just doing his job, I've got no problems with it.

Hilary: You seem to have a lot of wisdom. Do you feel like you were you able to reach and effect any of your fellow tribemates?

Coach: I definintely think so. I think that Tyson came into the game wanting to lie and cheat and steal at all costs and I really think that because of my influence on him that he changed the game. Once we merged, unfortunately it was Tyson's downfall. I'm not saying Tyson he played completely honest but he told Stephen and JT exactly their place in the game. Had he not done that it would have been he and I in the final two. You know I took Erinn under my wing at one time, I meditated with Debbie, I brought Taj to tears talking about her son. I really think that I did influence people out there. So yes, definitely.

Hilary: You made an statement last night which was interesting to me as a woman, about how women percieve things differently than men...

Coach: I try to coucil a lot of my players and assistant coaches on relationships so I do like to study human behavior. Sometimes what men think is a pebble - for instance when a woman asks "how does my hair look?" say "it's alright" and they hear, "it doesn't look good." And You think it's a pebble but the time the ripple effect gets to them it's like a boulder was dropped in and the waves are washing over them. They're ticked off and you don't even know why, SO I made that analogy because I think women do have intuition. My pebble was "hey Erinn, you did great," but she heard "oh no, Coach is going to do it dragonslayer style and he's one-upping me." That's what I was referring to. Of course talking about women's intuition, you know I made that comment originally saying that Erinn knows she's going to get voted out, but as soon as it left my mouth, I thought "uh oh, that means they could have intuition about me. I coud say I was being really brilliant and predicting my own demise, but I can't pull your leg about that. As soon as I said that it was like uh oh, she might have intuition and I'm going home.

Hilary: Who should we have our eye on now?

Coach: I think all of them. It's such a game and the excitement...You don't have the dragonslayer anymore, you don't have me to hate on now. You've got these people who are just going to go at each other's throats. And of course you know when it gets down to the final four, it's any man or woman's game. I think I'd like to see Stephen win because he is such a warrior and never complained about anything...

Hilary: The wizard!

Coach: Yes, the wizard. The wizard really turned into a man out there.

Hilary: Finally, ff you had it to do over again, would you change your agenda going to Exile island?

Coach: My time on Exile was the most beautiful, heroic, sad, self-anaylzing point of the whole show and it was beautiful and I loved it and I cherish that experience. I acutally think it made me stronger in the challenge. Contrary to what the others said I was not using it to make an excuse. I don't have to make an excuse for myself. I can tell you right now what was I dissapointed in most with throughout the whole show - it wasn't the editing, it wasn't anything else, it was me not being better at the challenges. Thinking that I'm a twenty-five year old man who's the world record Kayak holder and actually I'm not anymore. I'm a thirty-seven year old coach with a bad back and seven concussions. So I don't make any excuses on my performance. I was disappointed in myself. And coming back from Exile, I think I had such intense mental focus that I actually did better. I definintely would not change anything about that experience.
http://tvblog.ugo.com/tv/survivor-exit-interivew-coach

RealityFreakWill:
'Survivor: Tocantins'' Coach Says: 'I Am Who I Am'

Benjamin "Coach" Wade is one of the most controversial characters in "Survivor" history. Despite tall tales and an interesting life philosophy that rubbed many of his fellow castaways the wrong way, he made it to the final five. But last Thursday, after failing to win the Immunity Challenge, the tribe spoke and Coach had his torch snuffed out.

ET: In watching the show back, do you think you were portrayed accurately?

Coach Wade: I think that a small part of my personality was portrayed. I am a coach; I am intense; I am a motivator, but what you didn't see was my sensitive side. You didn't see me weeping for Tyson because he was a fallen noble warrior. You didn't see me bringing Taj to tears, getting her to emotionally connect with being out there. You didn't see me doing meditation with Debbie. You didn't see my dropping almost 60 pounds from start to finish, because I gave away my food, so everybody could have a lot and I would have none. You didn't see that part of it. I am a very sensitive individual, but it made for great television. I think they did a fantastic job that I became almost larger than the show for this season. In this show, it became one of the most talked about things: Who is this lunatic? Who is this delusional guy? Who is this crazy guy? Which I am not.

ET: What about all the stories you told? Do you think people believed those?

Coach Wade: I don't. If you told me those stories, I would be, "There has certainly got to be something in there that is off." I knew it when I told it. I have been through many different circumstances that have caused me to be who I am, many life-and-death situations. That has made me me. I have to be true to myself by telling people that story. One of my main passions is to be a public speaker, and I have spoken in at least 20 places a year in the last 10-15 years after being a professional kayaker. My stories touch a lot of lives. If there is somebody out there who changes, who becomes motivated, who will look at their life and say, "I need to make something better of myself," then that is the reason for telling them. I have been through hell and back and I knew telling those stories [that] I would be ridiculed, but I have to be true to myself.

ET: You seem to be a polarizing character. Jeff Probst was a fan of yours. He would say, "You haven't seen anything yet from Coach." But people seem to either love you or hate you. Do you have any understanding of that?

Coach Wade: Leonard Bernstein once said: "To achieve greatness, two things are needed: a plan and not quite enough time." I think not quite enough time sums up my heroic exit. Going through Exile Island and doing it that way, I couldn't have scripted it any better. I know people love to hate me, they hate to love me, they love to love me and they hate to hate me. That is okay, because I am who I am. Nobody out there can shake me. They have tried to sensationalize many different parts of who I am, but they can't touch the person who is a man of God, a Christian, and who has his character forged like an iron in the fire. I am polarizing.

ET: After Debbie was blindsided at Tribal Council, did you have an idea that your alliance was crumbling and you might be in trouble?

Coach Wade: I knew I was in trouble when Tyson was gone. They tried to make it easier for me to swallow by telling me that Tyson had lied to them, but I knew when Tyson left -- I felt that he and I could have been one and two -- I knew that I was on borrowed time after that. You definitely saw me more subdued. You also saw me going to Stephen and J.T. saying, "I don't want to cram this down your throat about this." I let them voice it and they turned their words around. I knew after Tyson left, and especially after Debbie left, I knew I was on borrowed time.

ET: In the Immunity Challenge, when it came down to you and J.T., did you suspect if you didn't win, you were going home?

Coach Wade: The way that J.T. was acting up there, I thought, "This guy wants me to lose." And then he said that and what else can I say, "J.T. I trust you implicitly?" I think by me saying that, it shamed him into not voting for me. I think he would have liked to see me in the final three. That was definitely a one-of-a-kind Immunity Challenge, and I am glad it went down the way it did. It was a great ending, I think.

ET: You also seemed a little concerned about the possibility of going to Exile Island.

Coach Wade: I know it has come up that maybe I couldn't start a fire, but on day four, it was soaked outside and nobody could get the fire started. Brendan, Jerry, everybody tried to start the fire. If you ask for the tape, you'll see I started it on the first or second time. I had a fear of my body and being away from the game, but I had no idea what Exile was like. Once I knew what it was like, I should have raised my hand from the beginning. It was a beautiful, primal, eccentric place that I actually thrived at. I did have some apprehension -- not that I was worried about surviving. Like I said, I could do another 10 days out there, if I had to. I think it was a beautiful time that I had and I am glad that I went.

ET: You have had a few different careers, what are you going to return to? And has this game opened any new doors for you?

Coach Wade: I definitely think it is going to open new doors for me. That is one of the reasons I wanted to go on the show. I am definitely interested in opportunities. I will sift through it and sort through it and pray through it. I do have a full-time job with the Susanville Symphony that I conduct in Northern California. I have a couple of coaching jobs on the table. It is a time of limbo for me, but it has been a good time of spiritual growth and personal growth.

http://www.etonline.com/news/2009/05/74291/index.html

RealityFreakWill:
Survivor: Coach Talks Blindsides, Weightloss & Nietzsche

Arguably one of the most entertaining people to ever be cast on Survivor, Benjamin “Coach” Wade, 37, was the 12th person eliminated from the game Thursday night. The Susanville, Calif.-based college soccer coach/symphony conductor/warrior eagerly talked to PEOPLE about his dramatic weight loss, character assassination, losing his day job and Nietzsche. – Carrie Bell

Were you blindsided last night?
I really didn’t think I was going to get voted off. But there was a moment when we were casting the votes where I looked into the fire and a voice in my head said, “You’re going home tonight. Are you cool with that?” It was a conversation in my mind. I’m not crazier than they make me out to be, I promise! I was leaning on my staff as Jeff read the names and thought, “Yeah it’s time. I’m ready.”

You told a lot of wild tales by the campfire. So level with us — are you speaking truth or are you pathological liar?
I am probably the most misunderstood person in America right now. I can guarantee you two things: I’m not delusional or crazy. My reputation and my character have been assassinated … It has been a difficult road. I’m human and some of this stuff has cut me to the quick. But I remember two things to get through it: One, I am a child of God and no one can take that away. And I’ve got the character that has been forged by these triumphant victories and devastating losses.

You wanted to keep the strongest players in the game. Why did Brendan not qualify for the Warrior Alliance?
Duk Koo Kim wrote on his lampshade ‘kill or be killed’ the night before he was killed in the ring by Boom Boom Mancini, and that’s what happened with Brendan. The very first day I went up to him and said, “Let’s change this game together. I know you are going to be strong.” He brushed me off and said, “We don’t need a coach out here.”

You had your jacket over your shoulder for every vote. Did this ritual mean anything?
I needed to do something to make tribal my own. I wanted to put my stamp on it, so I started wearing my feather in my hair and doing the jacket thing. I think I am the only person to ever recite poetry at tribal as well.

You lost a lot of weight. How is your health now?
I dropped almost 60 lbs. by trying to play nobly. I started the game at 205. At the end, I was basically a skeleton and weighed 149. My body was cannibalizing itself and eating its muscle. Taj lost the second most amount of weight but she did it because she wanted to get skinny for her man. I wasn’t trying to get skinny for anyone. People were begging me to eat, but I needed to play this way. The asthma was kicking my butt down there. I was speaking like an 80-year-old man. My back gives me problems still. It tightens up … but I am getting back to normal.

How has the reaction been since you’ve been back?
They say don’t read the blogs and I can see why. But why should I care what they say? It hurts because I’m human, but I don’t have one friend in my life that blogs. Nietzsche says, “What is the greatest form of humanity? To spare another man’s shame.” Obviously, these bloggers need to take a page out of Nietzche’s book. But the public reaction has been phenomenal. I’ve had easily a couple thousand people wanting photos and autographs from me and everybody has told me I was the only reason to watch Survivor this year.

We understand you lost your coaching gig at Southwest Baptist University because you went on Survivor. Tell us what happened and your future professional plans.
When CBS first called me to do it, I told them no and that I couldn’t leave my girls. I went to my boss and told her I turned them down and she ordered me to go. When I came back, I realized she hadn’t told her boss, the athletic director, and she lost face and had to either fire me or her. She chose me. I was the scapegoat. My short-term goal is to be in PEOPLE magazine because I have a great story to tell. I pray about the long-term goals. I have a couple of coaching opportunities I am considering. I did call my symphony and asked if they could pay me full-time. They said yes, so I moved back to Northern California. I want to go to 20 different countries in the next 20 years to write 20 symphonies based on the culture and the historical instruments. As far as Hollywood, I think I am going to get people coming at me with offers. I don’t want to be a reality junkie but I would absolutely want my own show.

http://tvwatch.people.com/2009/05/15/survivor-coach-talks-blindsides-weightloss-nietzsche/

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