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RealityFreakWill:
Joan's blog posted on 4/16

More on Last Week's Episode: No Rest for the Weary! (Part 1)

Can you even believe what happened last week on Celebrity Apprentice? As if it wasn’t enough that we had to sit through the rollercoaster ride of emotions while watching Annie stab Melissa in the back  and then tell Brandeeeee how she loved her after telling me just the opposite, both teams had to go right into our next task as soon as the LifeLock challenge was over!

Very few things upset me as much as people who are duplicitous, and so to watch Annie lie, cheat and speak out of both sides of her mouth got me crazy. I think all this two-faced behavior shows that Annie is truly worried that Melissa is competition and Brandeeeee poses no threats. She plays this game like it’s poker.

Even though I, like everyone, was exhausted and sleep-deprived, I took over as the project manager (for the second time) to organize a charity fashion-show fundraiser to sell Ivanka Trump’s jewelry.  If there’s one thing I adore and know a lot about after 20 years, it’s designing and selling (and wearing!) fabulous jewelry on QVC.

First, I sent Natalie out to select the pieces of jewelry that we were going to auction off. I chose Natalie to do this as she is a woman with an eye for classic looks. What she forgot was that the task was to auction the jewelry from the runway and so she should have picked big, showy pieces the way Melissa did for her team.

More on Last Week's Episode: No Rest for the Weary! (Part 2)



The auction was all about making money, and as we’ve seen, Annie is no slouch when it comes to raising a lot of cash. Herschel and Clint started working the phones to hit up their biggest donors. Natalie and I did the same, but the biggest tragedy is that I can’t find a rich man in New York who’ll take me out to dinner, let alone give me $25,000 for a bangle bracelet. It kills me that Annie dials four phone numbers and immediately has ten men with big, fat pinky rings pounding on her door to hand over the big bucks. So, if we lose, it will be not for lack of working hard but just a lack of cash.

The most fun was picking the models and pairing them with the jewelry. Fifty years ago, right after college, I started as a window dresser/fashion coordinator for the department store Lord and Taylor, so dressing these gorgeous, young, chic women and bedecking them in real jewelry was like riding a bicycle.

Since things have gotten so dramatic, and tempers are flaring and so out of control, it’s no wonder this HUGE task is going to be continued next week. Tune in…the blood bath continues.

P.S. I have gotten several emails asking me how, after my gigantic fight with Clint Black, could I work again with him. I am the kind of person who says what they think to someone’s face and then moves forward. I was furious with Clint, told him so, and then, as we are on the same team and must work together, put it behind me.

http://www.joanriversblog.com/blog/

RealityFreakWill:
'The Celebrity Apprentice' recap: Going once, going twice...

We learned several important lessons from last night's episode of The Celebrity Apprentice. First, Scott Ian from Anthrax (and those VH1 shows) is BFF with Annie Duke. Second, Clint Black makes me feel incredibly, painfully uncomfortable whenever he speaks — not just when he makes awkward sexual innuendos in viral videos. Third, according to Donald Trump, Sandra Bullock must have married Jesse James because he is good in bed (not because he's level-headed, down-to-earth, and funny). Fourth, according to Annie Duke, Annie Duke gives a great blow job.

After last week's awkward one-and-a-half challenges, we got a juicy double elimination last night. The first half of the show finished up the previous episode's auction debacle, in which each team auctioned off five pieces from Ivanka Trump's jewelry line. As you may recall, Annie spent pretty much all of last week's episode (and a couple of the previous ones) talking about how she had so many rich friends whom she could convince to donate in the next fundraising challenge, and bless her heart, the Athena project manager actually followed through. Her big-spending friends showed up and dropped some major dollars on the showy jewelry pieces Melissa picked out. And man, does Annie know how to talk people into doing what she wants them to — her auctioneer tactics included calling out her friends by name (like the aforementioned Scott Ian), shaming them into bidding more, and putting her head in their laps when she wasn't satisfied with what they were offering. Hey, whatever works, right?

KOTU, on the other hand, seemed doomed from the start of the challenge, when Natalie went to pick out the jewelry and returned with dainty, understated pieces that really didn't stand out on a runway. Though KOTU raised a bunch of money and pooled it to bid on the least expensive piece (so they'd make the most profit), they didn't get anyone to actually attend the auction and bid on the items. So when Clint opened bidding and all you could hear was crickets — painful. Then, when he started cracking unfunny jokes in his robotic, emotionless voice, really painful. Like, I had to look away because I was so uncomfortable. Thank goodness Joan popped her head out and brought some life to the room. Clint was failing so spectacularly and Joan's comedy was such a welcome breath of fresh air, however, that I couldn't help but wonder if either the whole thing was planned, or she was setting Clint up to fail.

In the boardroom, Annie and Joan had a pretty intense fight, during which Joan called Annie out on being two-faced (probably), having a huge ego (definitely), taking credit for everything (also definitely), and being just like Hitler (um...definitely not). After their blow-up, we found out that Athena won the challenge by raising $153,000 and KOTU only raised $92,000. Though I don't think Joan was a bad project manager, it didn't seem like anyone on her team really screwed up. When that happens, the project manager usually goes home, right? Well, not if you're BFF with Donald Trump. Since the editing had focused heavily on the jewelry choice last week, it wasn't a surprise when Trump sent Natalie packing instead of Joan.

The second challenge saw the contestants create a new dish and marketing campaign for the Schwan's frozen food LiveSmart line. Athena, led by Jesse, made turkey and spinach meatballs with gluten-free pasta. KOTU, led by Herschel, made Asian orange chicken. In the boardroom, we found out that though the main dishes both turned out well, KOTU's yogurt dessert was an unfreezable packaging nightmare and didn't really measure up to Athena's dish. We also sat through a weird interlude when Donald wondered why Sandra Bullock married Jesse. It couldn't have anything to do with the fact that he's got a great personality and charm, right? No, Donald says it's because Jesse's probably great in bed. Coincidentally, I began to wonder how Donald got such a hot model to marry him. It couldn't have anything to do with his piles of money, which I imagine he swims in, Scrooge McDuck-like, on a nightly basis, right?

Though I was rooting for Clint to get the ax (he just creeps me out), Donald ended up firing Herschel, who had lost as project manager for the second time. Clearly Joan wasn't going, since she's Trump's BFF, and Clint wasn't going, since he causes so much drama, so Herschel was the logical choice. Plus, he didn't really do much, and seemed to skate by under the radar on the other challenges.

What did you think of last night's two firings? Did Trump make the right choices? Are you on Team Joan or Team Annie? Did you also wonder why one of KOTU's models was wearing only underwear? Are you amused by the fact that Annie always has to have the last word (''I told you the gluten-free would work!'')?

http://popwatch.ew.com/popwatch/2009/04/celebrity-app-3.html

TexasLady:
I found it sort of slimy, an hour promotion of Ivanka's jewelry. I suppose it isn't any worse than Trump water, Trump hotels or Trump Casinos but it just seemed tawdry. Particularly when Clint Black couldn't get a single bid for the first piece, then insisted he wouldn't go lower, a fact that was brought up in the board room as embarrassing Ivanka.  Well yes, it was, but wasn't that considered before the task was planned?

Even worse the last two episodes have highlighted fights in the boardroom before the winner is even known. How dumb is that? Picking on your fellow teammates when you might not have lost? (REALLY dumb!)

Or how about Piers Morgan who picked and poked until he provoked the major blowup between the teams. The only thing that topped it was Ivanka complaining that she donated the jewelry and they didn't sell the first piece. I wish Clint Black had offered it for $50.00 and sold it at that price. Would Ivanka have felt better?

Blah! That's how I felt about the first hour.

apskip:
I'm pretty sure that the item that did not sell for $20,000 was the one they got for $6,000. Insisting on a 233% profit margin due to the celebrity involved is a bit absurd. Why didn't Clint just do what all auctioneers are forced to do, lower the opening price because that's all it is. It was clear that the audience did not want to pay as much as $20,000 for a $6,000 item. How much did they want to pay? We'll never know because Clint is an idiot. Now, after saying that it would have made no difference in the team outcome unless the item sold for at least $83,000, which was not going to happen.

TexasLady:

--- Quote from: apskip on April 21, 2009, 02:29:08 PM ---I'm pretty sure that the item that did not sell for $20,000 was the one they got for $6,000. Insisting on a 233% profit margin due to the celebrity involved is a bit absurd. Why didn't Clint just do what all auctioneers are forced to do, lower the opening price because that's all it is. It was clear that the audience did not want to pay as much as $20,000 for a $6,000 item. How much did they want to pay? We'll never know because Clint is an idiot. Now, after saying that it would have made no difference in the team outcome unless the item sold for at least $83,000, which was not going to happen.

--- End quote ---

Excellent point apskip, it was way too much. He was a terrible auctioneer. I was sorry to see Hershel leave and Clint stay, Clint is an idiot. He's quite good at diffusing blame, directing it away from himself.

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