Eric's myspace blog post:
“Well, well, well…the new season of Big Brother is upon us and I decided that it’s time to break my silence. Since the completion of BB8, I have really picked my spots and chosen my words wisely. After all, when is taking the high road not a good choice? I figured it’s a simple equation - so long as I’m decent towards everyone, I can expect that same decency back in return. Evidently, that’s not how it works though. I’ve been nothing but nice to this point and have gotten **** on in return - I’m done biting my tongue. I’m sick and tired of hearing everyone carry on except for me…so now it’s my turn! I guess it’s the BB way to talk crap on people…I know I dished it out last summer, but I’m the rare trash talker that can take it. I’ve just taken enough recently that I’m ready to dish out some more - consider me officially stooping to everyone else’s level.
Where to begin? Let’s start with… this wonderful new season, why don’t we? Let me start with some initial impressions about the houseguests. Let’s begin with Amanda, who seems to think that I gave her a dirty look when I hosted the competition. Ya wanna know why she thinks that? Because I did. It was highly difficult to concentrate on hosting duties when her vile, grotesque, fat thunder thighs were making the entire set jiggle. I sincerely almost walked out of the yard when she came out in that leotard - was that some sort of a sick joke? It was like a perfect storm of Kail’s stretchmarks meeting Amber’s America’s Next Top Model photo shoot. I was temporarily blinded, hence I accidentally shot her a dirty look. Listen bitch, you wanna talk smack then you better be ready to receive it in return.
On to my friend, this season’s resident whore Jen. Jen made it perfectly clear to me that she is in Big Brother for the fame…well, congrats Jen! You’re already going to be remebered in BB history! You are officially the house’s biggest slut and it only took you 6 days! Let’s see, I’ve watched about 30 seconds of the feeds and I’ve come across you having your bf insert your tampon further into you, begging to jerk him off, and a 1 minute sex in the same ****ing bathroom that 14 other people have to use. You know sex is never good when it starts with “is it in honey? I can’t tell” and ends with “awww, it’s okay.” Jen, you’re a very classy girl. Plus, on top of that, your gameplay is pathetic and you are not long for this house…so enjoy filming your sex tapes while it lasts. You are so ****ing two-faced with your “oh man, this is so cool, i’m in awe - i can’t stop staring. it’s sooo cool you guys are here” - then two seconds later bragging about talking **** on us in the DR. In the words of Boogie, you’re a real CLASS ACT.
On to Natalie. Natalie who thinks that since she is “so much cuter and better looking and more fun than Eric & Jessica” that she’s “totally going to be famous if they are.” I don’t think I need to say much more about this than she had a sick fat roll in her intro video package and she’s not fit to stand in the same room as Jess, let alone in the same league as her. Prancing around in her bra and G string throwing herself at guys is certainly respectful. Oh wait, in the 10 minutes since I’ve been writing this, I take back what I said about Jen! At least it was Jen’s boyfriend! Being the extremely conservative girl that she claims to be, Natalie has just jerked off/blown/maybe ****ed Matt very proudly on camera. His response thereafter, “DO NOT get attached to me. No cuddling.” Aww, romance is alive in the BB house. I also enjoyed Matt’s very manly request that Natalie pinky swear that she won’t tell anyone. He’s a real tough guy. Natalie, your non-stop whining has already disgusted the viewers, so try to shut your ****ing mouth (even though I know it’s hard for you with your apparent dick-sucking habit).
May as well stay on the topic of Matt and his boys, Alex and especially Parker. Aren’t these guys just so ****ing hot and cool? Gameplay-wise, these guys are superstars. Alex has nominated his best buddy Parker (who is likely going to get evicted), Parker has angered every single person and tried to turn the house on his own partner (does he understand that if she goes, he goes?), and they came out of the gates so wildly at least two of them will be out before the jury for certain. I laughed out loud when I saw Parker walking around in the crown…great play, asshole. Matt looks like a complete douche bag and he and his wifey Alex make an adorable couple. Meet the new Scott and Jase. They did well, expect a similar result.
Oh, by the way…good luck to James/Chelsia, Adam/Sheila, and Joshuah/Sharon - we’ll be rooting for you bigtime!!!”
