HE SIGNED, HE SIGNED: In a major victory for crappy singers everywhere,
American Idol misfit William Hung has officially signed a record deal with
Fuse Music Network and Koch Records. The 21-year-old Hong Kong native's
debut CD, featuring his signature tune "She Bangs" as well as a cover of
Elton John's "Rocket Man," is due in stores on April 6. The disc will also
include a 40-minute DVD with behind-the-scenes footage from his studio
recording sessions and fan questions and answers. "He may not be the next
American Idol," says Fuse president Marc Juris, "but he is definitely a star
and inspiration to everyone who sings in the shower." That noise you hear is
Simon Cowell imploding.