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HaMerotz LaMillion (The Amazing Race Israel) Season 3: HaRecaps (The Recaps)

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Jai Ho:

--- Quote from: omeroz on July 28, 2013, 05:07:42 PM ---Hi,
I don't usually write on forums but I had to correct a few things you said about Israel.
first off it takes 9 hours to cross Israel from north to south (not 3).
In Israel life starts a bit later then in the united states. After the army service Israelis usually save some money and then travel the world for a few months. In fact Israelis like to travel a LOT.   
After that they start university and usually can't afford to buy a car (which is more expensive then in the US). Most people buy a car at the end of their schooling.

However I will agree that in Israel the most important thing is your family  :)

~omer

--- End quote ---

Welcome to the thread omeroz!

It does take 9 hours to cross Israel from north to south completely, true (from, like, Golan Heights to Eilat), but I don't know many people that routinely did that. I actually never ended up doing the whole cross-country trip, the longest I ever needed to go to get anywhere was about three hours (except for the time when I made a 3-hour trip into 5 hours because I forgot to get off the train once and ended up going the long way around when I could have skipped 2 hours by switching to a different bus line).

Israelis do love to travel, and the "Southeast Asia" year or the "Machu Picchu" year (as a cousin or uncle of mine who went to Peru for his year called it) is very important - a lot of people do this, not all, but a lot. I have a lot of religious friends/family members who didn't do it after army/national service and just went straight into college or into the workforce, but that's just people I know personally, who don't represent the majority of the young population of the country. And yes, you're right, having a car is super expensive in Israel - if I did live there, I'd probably want one but only as a complete last-minute option.

Thanks for reading my posts and stay tuned for more! Thoughts and opinions are always welcome here :) and it makes me seem like less of a narcissistic bitch so post on!

Jai Ho:
Episode 19: Animal Misbehavior

Neighing horses and angry crocodiles lead us back to Cuba.

Pitstart. TaKo reveal they must go to La Cienega del Zapata National Park to meet up with some crocodiles, who will hopefully not eat most of them. General “yay we’re first” talk. David/Eliran and D/D leave as well. David admires Talia and Kobi’s strong relationship. Debby is proud that they’re moving up the ladder.

Morning. Talia remarks on the tropical scenery, as does Eliran, Debby and Dana. Foreboding music plays as Debby reveals her fear of crocodiles and hopes she has to deal with coconuts instead.

Park. Two-sided task. First, transport 4 baby crocodiles per hand from the water into a box. Second, wrangle a crocodile. Talia, Koby, David, and Eliran show up first. Koby asks Talia to imagine them as gummy bears. David, though entering the pen after Talia, is shown catching his first croc. D/D show up as well. Dana tries to get Mom to go, “ladies first” but she ends up attempting first and though she screams, she seems more entertained than scared.

Streets of Havana. LiMor and Purples head out. Batel asks her driver his name, which happens to be Alejandro, and of course Lady Gaga starts to play.

Crocodiles. Fearless Koby gets 8 crocs like it’s nobody’s business, followed by David. Eliran is grossed out but gets it anyway. They move on to stage 2. Meanwhile, Talia is shown picking up some, and she finishes quickly because we flip to them at stage 2.
Streets of Havana. Itzik shouts “Good Morning Cuba!” several times. (Cuba: “Thank you but we need the sleep.”) Sisters leave as well and are extremely relieved at not having to drive.

Crocodiles. Dana freaks out a little but gets it done quickly. At Stage 2, Blue Collar enters the cage with the big crocs. Foreboding music plays as the boys prepare. In a truly frightening moment, David slips and falls, angering the crocodiles. Talia and Koby get closer to the crocodiles, but Koby’s first few tries don’t result in a catch. David (now standing) quickly nabs a big croc and they are off in first, to the town of Soplillar. Unexpectedly, it’s Talia who nabs the big one for her team and she and Koby head out in second. Back at stage 1, Debby’s still freaking out as Purples arrive. While Dana asks Debby to imagine them as little hot dogs, Ma’Ayan freaks out over how cute the babies are and grabs them lickety split, even having time to dance with them before inviting Batel to do the same. Dana comments that Ma’ayan is fearless. LiMor shows up. Lior picks up eight like he’s picking up his kid’s toys, and Mor quickly follows. Batel gets eight. Debby can’t even get one – come on, Ma!

Soplillar. Footrace to the cluebox between Blue Collar/TaKo. Double Battle! And it’s a chariot race, Ben-Hur Style! Talia checks the horses’ genders and chooses a mare, while Blue Collar opt for the filly. And…they’re off! Talia takes her team to an early lead, but Eliran overtakes her towards the end and leads Blue Collar to the win, putting them back in first. Their next clue? Campismo Beach, for a u-turn vote.

Crocodiles. Falafel show up, and Eliran dutifully starts grabbing the little ones and even tries to comfort Debby a little. Debby gets one but drops it, and Itzik knows that this is their chance to pass them. Dana goes and picks up one for her mother, but she’s still unconvinced. At the big crocs, the Purples are apprehensive, and Batel makes a valiant effort but her croc goes right through the loop. Her second attempt is a success, however, and then they humorously flee while Ma’Ayan threatens to have them made into Louis Vuitton handbags. Lior gets a croc, lickety-split, and Mor is turned on by this. I hope the camera is turned off for their next taxi ride. Falafel are slightly more apprehensive, but Itzik gets it, putting them up in fifth.

U-Turn. Blue Collar pick, for the 7th consecutive time, D/D, saying that they’re strong, while we watch Debby cower in fear at the baby crocodiles. At the beach, Blue Collar finds their next clue on a table full of fruit. Their next task is the highly competitive one of…eating fruit and throwing a note in a bottle into the ocean, intended for their families in Israel. Let’s see those guys make it through the Cuban trade embargo. We get treated to watching David and Eliran eat fruit on the beach and argue over who to write a letter to. What is this?

Double Battle. Purples arrive next, and feel like they have an advantage because they are from a small moshav, a country town where sometimes they like to ride horses for fun. Batel takes the reins and Ma’Ayan loses her helmet, but Talia and Koby (who’ve switched to Blue Collar’s filly) win. LiMor appear to have gotten very lost, because Falafel arrive next and we are treated to spaghetti Western music. The purples race to a win, on the faster horse, of course.

Crocodiles. Romi/Michele arrive and Romi does a relatively good crocodile impression. Coral does it like a pro, comparing it to picking up dropped French fries (LOL). Romi does it, but not before having fallen into the mud, judging by the brown stain on her butt. D/D, now in last, sends Debby in for one more try, and of course they get it, with much nudging from production and handlers.

U-turn board. TaKo choose LiMor again. Talia writes to her father in America. They talk about Talia’s father, and then Talia reads her letter to us in English. Apparently they didn’t tell him that they were going on The Amazing Race. Whoops. David throws his bottle into the ocean, while Talia and Koby gently toss theirs into the surf. More shirtless shots of Blue Collar. Next stop: Green Bar.

Double Battle. Falafel vs. LiMor. The couple are on Slowpoke, so of course Falafel are going to win. Lior starts to pray. But wait…we get a slo-mo shot of Falafel’s horse doing a side-step, and shockingly, allowing LiMor to pass them on Slowpoke, going on to take the win! They do not know that they’ve bucked the trend, and now Falafel are pissed off. Itzik hops down and walks away without a word to the parents. Cue the ugly moment. Mor instigates it by asking Itzik why he walked away without saying anything, Itzik says he doesn’t want to talk, but that’s not good enough for Mor, who catches up to him and fuels the fire (bad move) and then Itzik launches into full-out sore loser mode against both Lior and Mor. Itzik whines how unfair it was, Mor calls him a sore loser, and no one comes off looking particularly good. Well, not everyone – Eliran (playing the UN, according to Itzik) wisely walks away from the group. The whole fight was too stupid and grade-school to recap every single word, and you can probably figure out what happened. Conclusion: Mor is a bully, Lior is her lackey, and Itzik doesn’t play well with others. The parents leave but not before telling the camera that Itzik behaves (and drives) like a little girl. I think the show wants me to feel sorry for Itzik, but I’m actually siding with Mor a little because frankly, Itzik is being a brat and a bad sport and we (as well as Itzik) already know that Mor’s a loudmouth and he should have just ignored her in situations like this one, knowing that she’ll go away, and THEN cry and whine and hate her and call her a bitch for the cameras for all the time in the world, if he is still mad. A race is a race, Itzik, and although they had a stroke of pure luck, they won the horse race fair and square so just move on and wait for the next team.

Goodness.

Crocodiles. Sisters and Mom/Daughter head to the big croc cages. Dana is rightfully disappointed at being in front of only the sisters. Romi makes a couple of good tries but her croc is very snappy, while Debby redeems herself about a half an iota for nabbing the crocodile. Romi gets it as well and both teams leave.

U-Turn board. Purples pick D/D, again. They enjoy the fruit and Batel tearfully writes to her mother and they (her and Ma’Ayan, not her and her mother) hug on the beach.

Double Battle: Falafel vs. D/D. Falafel have stuck with their horse and give D/D the former loser’s horse, figuring that lightning can’t strike twice, and they’re right, winning easily, but now down in 5th.

U-Turn board. LiMor stick with D/D – what, no Falafel vote? Mor writes to her mother and Lior eats fruit, then they lie on the beach for a moment before getting their clue and exiting the episode another with the other. Falafel stick with LiMor. Eliran is dyslexic. Nothing else interesting.

Double Battle. D/D vs. Romi/Michele. D/D have learned nothing, and stick with Slowpoke. It’s the closest race yet, but it’s obvious that Romi/Michele won by a half-length. D/D are initially confused, but disappointed when they find out they lost.

U-Turn board. Sisters choose LiMor, again. They have a stupid argument because Romi wants to sit in the shade. Moment ruined. It was bound to happen. Elsewhere, D/D head to the beach. Romi reads her letter, telling their parents that they’re being sisterly and nice (even though it’s not always true). D/D pick LiMor and the deed is done, same as previous leg. Predictably, they enjoy the siesta. Dana uses the quill pen to write her husband’s name in the sand. We don’t see what they wrote, but they toss their bottle into the sea.

Next time: Pirates! Ahoy! ELIMINATION, finally. Oh, and some distracting birds.

Jai Ho:
So, newsflash - I'm actually up to date (!!) so here's Episode 20. 21 + 22 coming tomorrow. Also, coming soon...The HaMerotz LaMillion drinking game I recently created to get us through the rest of the season! Yay!

---

Episode 20: Hit The Road (Captain) Jack, and Don’t You Come Back No, Mor, No, Mor, No, Mor, No, Mor

A lone seagull flies over Cuba, an island on which LiMor have just been yielded.

Route Info: As told to us by David and Koby, teams must dress and act as pirates for the rest of the leg, with their next clue waiting at Playa Shackleton. David is the first to reference Johnny Depp.  Both teams taxi up. Talia thinks that eye patches are sexy. The hell, Talia? Eliran is singing 99 Bottles of Beer and this whole leg just seems like one long car trip with the family. Remember Detours and Roadblocks? Ah Oy indeed. Purples pirate up as well, and learn that Johnny Depp was indeed in Cuba filming the movie.
Shackleton. Hey look, endangered species sighting! It’s a Detour! Approach with caution, guys. This time, it’s Sea or Air. In Sea, teams must rescue items from a sinking ship, and in Air, it’s a pirate-themed ropes course. Blue Collar choose Air and get suspended in a giant hammock. They go back and forth and are finding it tougher than they initially thought, with neither leverage nor gravity on their side. TaKo also choose Air and get raised up. Talia gets pretty close, and nearby Blue Collar are having a rare argument. TaKo successfully harnesses the laws of phyiscs and gets it with a good swing. Eliran uses brute force to claw his way up the rope and grab the flag, but after placing it between his teeth, he loses focus or something and the flag flutters away and lands nearby. Blue Collar climb down from the hammock and contemplate switching.Elsewhere, LiMor and Falafel suit up in pirate duds. Ma’Ayan/Batel arrive at the clue box and are the first to pick Sea. They wade out into the surf and find that the little boats are chock full of random stuff, from pots to drums to a bicycle. Because pirates don’t go anywhere without a bicycle! This task actually looks easier than I first thought, because the boats are not that far off shore – as you can see, the girls are barely waist deep. I would’ve probably gone with this one.  They start with the oversized lawn chair as the drum hits her in the head.

Air. Talia tries to grab the sack with brute force but is inches away. Back in the saddle, the boys grab the flag successfully and use that momentum to steer David to the sack, which he grabs but drops. The Butterfingered Blue Collars are lowered. Talia is still trying to grab the sack, and after a music build, she does, as David/Eliran clap for them gamely. They head to the next task, which starts with the U-turn board. Talia is scared since they’ve gotten such a nice lead, but of course it’s not them, so they march to the next task, which we’ll find out about soon, I guess. Elsewhere, Sisters and D/D get suited up.

Detour. Falafel show up and are their usual incredibly indecisive selves. As they go back and forth, Blue Collar go back and forth and finish the task, and Ma’Ayan/Batel, having found a crate, complete their first back and forth. Finally, they pick Sea, and start their carry just as the parents show up. Their second trip includes the bike and the drum. Itzik’s pants keep falling down.
U-Turn. Blue Collar are safe.

Detour. Mor/Lior get raised, and I’m think that the weight disparity is not going to help them here. In jog the Purples, who’ve apparently switched over to Air. Lior makes the flag, and I think Ma’Ayan grabs it for the purples. Both teams get very tangled.

Sand Piles. Apparently, one team member must get buried in the sand, while the other pours things on them, looking for a pearl which will open a treasure chest and a map. Blue Collar arrives as well. Talia and Eliran get buried for their teams. Koby’s first bottle contains confetti, while David’s contains honey. Ducks show up, and Talia completely flips out at them.

Detour. Falafel, despite their indecision, appear to be going along swimmingly, ferrying their captain across. At Air, Mor uses the brute-force strategy to grab the sack. They head off to the U-turn board. Cousins complete the task as well.  Romi/Michele arrive and argue about whether they need their bags or not. D/D arrive and choose Air, as do Sisters. No love for the Sea task. Dana tries to use gravity as  her pendulum but Debby can’t help her because she is an idiot so they swing aimless. Sisters use brute force to grab the flag, and Dana does the same. Both teams start screaming – the sisters because of rope burn, Dana because her mom sucks.

U-Turn board. Batel/Ma’Ayan? Safe. LiMor? Not so much, back to the Sea for you.

Detour. It appears that Falafel has had to start over, since they brought their person back too soon. Over at Air, Romi makes the grab with force while Dana uses gravity to grab their sack. Well done, ladies, you’ve managed to make it to the middle of the pack despite your car trouble and Debby sucking at the crocodile task. Over at Sea, Lior and Mor transport what looks to be a baby cradle and head out for more stuff. Lior climbs in the boat and takes a hard tumble. Falafel finish their task and head out. The sky gets dark, and just as LiMor hit the beach, Mor tumbles and the crate drops right on her head. Lior asks if she got a bruise, and she’s like, of course you loser, you just dropped a crate on my head. They take a break on the beach watching the rain come on.

Sand Piles. Ducks are still torturing Talia. Purples come in, with Batel plopping down in the hole and Ma’Ayan burying her. Ma’Ayan is thrilled at burying her partner in the sand and even tries to goose her further by sticking her sandy fingers in Batel’s mouth. Revenge, thy name is wet sand. TaKo gets their pearl, and Talia and her pink bikini wash off as Blue Collar watch and get their own pearl. Both teams head out, treasure map in tow. As they race to the pit stop, the teams get separated.

Detour. Mor and Lior head out for the last time. Lior, used to carrying children on his back, gets their man, and Mor carries the bike. They head off to the Sand Piles.

Sand Piles. Coral climbs in the hole. She calls her sister a disappointment and she spits out sand. D/D arrive and finally, the perfect task for Deb – sitting in a hole in the ground. What could go wrong? Dana pours the first bottle, which is just water, until gross black crap comes out, and she’s all, “ugh.” All three lady teams are pouring as Falafel arrives and Eliran gets in the hole. Ma’Ayan gets their pearl, and hilariously runs off, leaving Batel in the sand. Whoops. She comes back to get her, though, so it’s all good.

Pit Stop. Both leading teams arrive, but Koby is the first to emerge in the hut where the mat is, and he and Talia are team number one, our first repeat leg winner of the race. Congratulations, you two. David/Eliran are team number two and are not disappointed.

Sand Piles. Debby’s hair gets a pineapple juice treatment. Finally, they get the pearl, and afterwards, Debby laughs at herself good-naturedly, saying Dana was probably pleased to see her trapped there. Dana’s all, “okay, I’ll get you out of there.” Like she has a choice, LOL. Romi gets the pearl as well and they’re off. In their cab, Purples have trouble reading the map and make a Dora the Explorer reference. Dana sees this as a chance to pull ahead. They see the Pit Stop, but it’s Ma’Ayan and Batel who arrive next. They are third, and Ma’Ayan must give Ron a poo hug. D/D and Sisters both approach the pit stop. Mom and Daughter get turned around looking for Ron, allowing the sisters to slide in in fourth. They don’t appear to be serving their penalty, however, because Debby and Dana get fifth. Itzik finds his pearl as Lior is still pouring stuff on Mor. But wait! The boys lose the pearl in the sand. Oopsie. The camera shows that it’s rolled a foot or two away. Eliran heads to clean off while Itzik looks on hands and knees for the pearl. Eliran does not seem to understand the importance of the pearl. Itzik comments that they could conceivably lose because of this, as they’re second to last, Lior just found his team’s pearl, and Eliran is being lackadaisical. Lior offers Mor a hand and she’s all, am I supposed to dig myself out? LiMor appear to leave while Falafels are still fretting over the map, so they might have a chance.

Pit stop. Both teams are shown running. Please, don’t do to us what you did in Spain (LiRonit/TaKo). And…the Falafels save their fannies again. Before they find out their placement, Itzik complains about his partner’s laziness, but at the end of it all, they are still friends and still in the race. Sad music leads us to Mor and Lior hitting the mat. Lior, for some reason, is in civilian gear rather than pirate. They blame their loss on the other teams and not themselves – not the best way to exit the race with grace, guys. And with that, we’re down to officially more women than men in the race, with only one mixed-gender couple remaining. They get their loser lotto tickets and off my computer screen.

Next time: Rihanna brings us to Vegas, where Debbie is in a pretty wedding dress. Showgirls! Roulette! Bellagio fountains! Motorcycles! Ma’Ayan proposes to a hobo.
---
So, who’s your favorite as of now?
Did you want LiMor eliminated, or someone else?
Are you wondering how the teams are going to get from Cuba to the USA, given the political circumstances?
How many times will we hear someone say “Vegas, baby!” or “Viva Las Vegas”?
Finally, to whom will we say hasta la vista in America (in three to five episodes down the road)?

Jai Ho:
Episode 21: Party in the USA

We open on Ron standing in front of Circus Circus. He says “welcome to Vegas, baby!” (drink).

Back in Cuba, Talia/Koby open their clue which reveals that they are going to Las Vegas, Nevada, USA. An incredibly politically inaccurate graphic shows a plane taking off in Cuba and landing in America, which we all know has been impossible since the Bay of Pigs. Just putting it out there, Reshet Art Department. After a Vegas montage, we are treated to a montage of excited teams. Coral points out that Romi can’t gamble since she’s 18. Teams are shown on a plane. We do not, however, see their connection in Canada or Mexico.
Vegas. Frank Sinatra welcomes us to America, where the teams get their first clue in the airport. Coral uses “rapido” and then realizes that she’s in the United States and Romi interprets into English for her. Given that it’s America, Spanish can’t hurt either. Romi/Michele and David/Eliran enjoy the lights of Vegas from cabs as Elvis plays. Debby is feeling the Vegas spirit and the adrenaline. Keep your top on, honey. (SPOILER ALERT). Talia admits that she’s not a gambler. Yawn.

Fremont Street Experience. Blue Collar appears to be the first team to arrive, with the sisters not far behind. The sisters run past Darth Vader, then Elmo. Talia and Koby show up as well. Talia describes it as Alice in Wonderland-like. Are we going to get Acid Trip Talia on this leg? I would be both thrilled and terrified at that. They ask a lady if she’s seen a roulette wheel.  D/D arrive next and pass some showgirls and have fun with living statues.

Roulette wheel. First up: TaKo. They start their spin. We are also shown Blue Collar spinning. The roulette wheel stops, and TaKo land on 1, so they earn the right to leave right away. David/Eliran? 5. Next task: Harley Café. Here, they must arm-wrestle a local and drink some beer. D/D pass the wheel, instead, looking at a display of iPhone cases. Not the time, ladies. Romi/Michele approach, give it a spin, and get a 2, so they get to leave as well since Talia/Koby got #1. David/Eliran? Still waiting.

Streets of Vegas. That sounds wrong, until we get to the streetwalker task (spoiler alert…not really). In the purples cab, their driver impresses them by speaking in Hebrew and knowing what “Batel” means in English, correctly. In the Falafel cab, they wonder if they’re also in Hollywood. How do they even put their shoes on in the morning?

Harley Café. TaKo and Sisters arrive pretty close to one another. TaKo pick a table, and Koby starts to arm-wrestle a man in yellow. We also learn that apparently, Koby has a British accent when he speaks English. Who knew? Talia starts to tickle the opponent. Nearby, Romi prepares to armwrestle, with Coral’s help.

Fremont Street Experience. Falafel  and Purples arrive. D/D? Still wandering around. Get it together, ladies. Falafel arrive and spin the wheel. They get a 3, so they may leave as well. They run off yelling at the tops of their lungs. David/Eliran acknowledge their bad luck. Elsewhere, the Purples are running around a random casino, hilariously failing with the English. Both teams are then shown at the wheel. Purples take a spin, and it’s a 6, so D/D are 4. It doesn’t really matter, since they’re all there and I guess they can all leave at the same time, just in that order. D/D snap a pic with a showgirl and they head out. In a cab, Itzik informs Eliran that “café” is not an English word, and it’s pronounced “Harley Coffee.” Oy.

Harley Café. The girls win at arm wrestling while Koby struggles. Eliran takes the challenge for Falafel, and loses almost immediately. Debby flirts with her opponent, earning her brownie points, but not any mercy. Romi/Michele get their beers and must chug them. Um…Romi’s not legal and I don’t think Coral is either. Is that fact completely escaping everyone’s minds? Or is it just ginger ale or something? Or will their next task be, "bail yourself out of jail to continue with the race and then spend the next leg with an ankle bracelet"? TaKo get their beers, and Talia relates that this is not at all like her university experience, because she went grad school at the University of Chicago, “the place where fun comes to die.” I can relate, since I went to the University of Houston, aka “America’s largest community college,” and “the place where the sun vaporizes you while walking to class.” Falafel get beers as well. Romi, Koby, and Eliran are shown finishing, but their partners are failing. Itzik caves and hits the floor, literally. Coral and Talia finish just under the wire and leave in first and second. Route Info: Little White Wedding Chapel. Outside, Romi and her sister suit up and ride on Harleys to the next task. Romi is either giddy or very, very drunk. TaKo get on their bikes as well and head out to the chapel as well. Koby is hanging on for dear life. Is Talia drunk yet? We’ll see.

Wedding Chapel. First to arrive: Talia and Koby. Did the girls get lost or arrested or something? They rip and read their clue. They must find a couple willing to get married, get a wedding license from the Clark County Clerk’s office, and then bring the couple back to the chapel and get them married. The Vegas “weddings of celebrities” montage includes Britney Spears. I’m guessing that the Las Vegas Tourist Board had little to do with the PR here. Talia looks flustered because this task is messed up. She tells their driver to take them to a public place to find a couple. Romi rips the clue and knows what the task is already. Smarty drunky pants.

Harley Café. Both trailing teams arrive. Eliran is shown no mercy. Ma’Ayan fails as well. Dana, now in her sports bra, helps her mother
win with the good ol’ “distract the big guy with your boobs” method. Itzik gets another glass of beer, and finishes it without sharing his boobs. He looks sick. Debby freaks out over the beer. Eliran reads the clue a language that is neither Hebrew nor English.

Somewhere in Vegas. Talia and Koby are asking people with little success. Elsewhere, Romi and Coral accost a Filipino-looking couple outside a Starbucks, who look horrified. Their sales pitches kind of suck, with Coral not understanding that it’s a real marriage and not just “for fun.” She clearly didn’t follow the Ross and Rachel storyline too closely. Then again, she was probably in grade school. Kids. They then find a young couple with a lady who’s celebrating her birthday today and her boyfriend, and what do you know, they convince them. Now in first, the sisters head to the courthouse.

Harley Café. Eliran/Itzik scream all the way to the chapel. Eliran, having two brain cells rub together for the first time ever, tells the camera that this is a ridiculous and nearly impossible task. I would have to agree. They try a begging tactic and offer new shoes (?) to an obviously weirded-out couple. They then approach some more random people in the street. They manage to get a couple for a while, but then they leave as well.

Harley Café. David scores a legit win, while the girls get a fake win and babble to the bikers in Hebrew. Batel asks for a smaller glass. D/D, Purples, and Blue Collar are all shown drinking, with Eliran sucking it down like it’s nobody’s business. Dana finishes as well. Batel manages to finish. David has very little left and he finishes, as does Ma’Ayan, who gives a huge belch. Also: 2 of the 5 people who just drank are underage. Just putting it out there. Debby proves that she isn’t a downer, as she gives up halfway done with some of it coming back up. Both winning teams head off on motorcycles, with David asking to drive. He is denied and America thanks the producers. After a screaming ride, both teams arrive at the chapel. Blue Collar asks for a public place. Now, a montage of Ma’Ayan and Batel ambushing embarrassed people including a pair of divorcees and a mother and son.

Casino somewhere. Talia and Koby, in a stroke of brilliance, hype the crowd by getting a microphone and announcing the challenge, after which an engaged couple comes forward as volunteers. They skip away gaily as the Dixie Cups sing “Going to the Chapel.”

Streets of Vegas. Romi/Michele. Their couple has cold feet and runs off, taking their lead with them. Aww. It happens to the best of us, even Julia Roberts. Ok, so maybe not the best of us, but it happens. 

Wedding Bureau. It’s really happening for TaKo, whose couple signs the papers and then goes to the chapel with them. We learn that they’re Jessica and Andrew from Canada. The four of them tux and gown up and Talia asks Jessica if she’s ready. Talia holds the bride’s train as they enter the chapel.

Harley Café. Debby gets a second try. Dana coaches from the side, and Debby finally finishes. And now, she’s afraid of the motorcycles. Oy. They head off, with Debby surprisingly enjoying herself. Good for her. They head out.

Somewhere in Vegas. Ma’Ayan and Batel are still wandering around. Ma’Ayan approaches a hobo who rolls his eyes at her. Itzik/Eliran are at the Bellagio fountains (I think) and working the crowds there. They get turned down by some Asians.

Wedding Chapel. Talia and Koby watch Jessica and Andrew get married, and it’s actually more cute than awkward. Talia is about to either cry or pee herself with excitement. They’ve prepared a speech, too. Elton John sings “Can You Feel the Love Tonight?” They kiss and the deed is done. As do Talia and Koby. Next clue: find the Limousine Inferno and get the hell out of this episode.

Fremont Street Experience. D/D approach a man in an army uniform and his girlfriend, and they actually sound interested. They stupidly give the couple up because they don’t already have the license. WTF? That’s part of the task! Bad move, girls. Blue Collar find an Israeli guy named Omri who will do it if they find him a wife. They get a lesbian couple, and hopefully they’ll soon find out about gay marriage in America. Elsewhere, the sisters find a couple and they look game for it. They manage to gather a cheering crowd, and the girl demands he kneel. He does, shockingly, and she accepts. This is absolutely nuts.

Marriage bureau. Apparently, the guys have gotten the lesbians a wedding license. I call BS. Something’s gotta go wrong here. Sisters get their straight couple a license and head out as well.

Wedding chapel. Oh, wait…Omri’s with them. The black lesbian chick is marrying him. But now both the lesbians are in wedding dresses. This is all kinds of awkward. We find out that Romi/Michele’s couple has been dating seven months. Coral is decked out in a ridiculously large crown of flowers – actually, my grandma wore the same outfit at her wedding, so I guess it’s a timeless look. Either that or she’s going to perform a la Isadora Duncan at the reception. Romi steps out in a white tux instead of a dress, and the couple has one final kiss before entering the chapel. For a minute there the sisters look like they’re about to kiss, but the lesbian incest moment will have to wait, ‘cause it’s time for their couple to get hitched. And…what happens next is beyond weird. David, Eliran, Omri, and the lesbians approach the minister. That’s one of the oddest sentences I’ve ever typed. Eliran wipes away fake tears before completely losing it. The vows are shared, and we learn that Omri’s black lesbian wife’s name is Meiko. What, no LaNiqua? Other Lesbian looks dubious. Romi/Coral’s couple, Sharon and Joshua (who get Patrick Swayze’s “She’s Like the Wind”), exchanges vows as well. At the fake Israeli black lesbian wedding (OMG, where is my life right now?), Eliran laughs again and is given a warning by the minister. When a 24-hour wedding chapel minister tells you you’re being disrespectful, you’re in big trouble. Eliran gives a speech after he’s collected himself but he still comes off sounding like an incredible jackass. At least pretend you care. Other Lesbian is like, “can I be anywhere else right now?” Then they laugh again. Over at the actual wedding of Sharon and Joshua, Romi and Coral are actually somewhat respectful. Omri and Meiko get married. I call SHAM and they’re so getting divorced in ten minutes. Nonetheless, both teams qualify for the clue and they head out.

Streets of Vegas. Tense music brings us to a very serious looking Itzik. Amazingly, they find a bride and groom to take to the marriage bureau, only to discover their couple’s ditched them. Suckers. End of episode.

Next time: Strip poker. America continues to get a bad rap as a nation full of stupid people who do stupid things all day and all night. What's going to be the next task - working for minimum wage at Waffle House? Comforting an old person while giving them their social security check? Seeing how many laws you can break before you get arrested?

Brannockdevice:
This might be kind of random- sorry if I’m unpatriotic, but I hate it when foreign races come to America! It seriously infuriates me D:<  why on Earth would they want to come here when there are such more beautiful places elsewhere in North America (Cancun, Cabo San Lucas, anywhere in Canada, Panama, Guatemala, the D.R.)! These foreign shows should just skip coming here and spare the racers the heartbreak of visiting such a suckish place. This is just imho

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