Author Topic: Coutzy's Commentaries on AusTAR 2! Episode 9 announcement.  (Read 23190 times)

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Offline Coutzy

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My running commentary for AusTAR 2 Episode 1 will go in this thread.

Full Title- "Why Am I Not On This Show Yet? I Mean, Seriously?" -Coutzy (Non Racer)

11 teams of two begin The Amazing Race in Sydney, while Coutzy sits at home and rants about how stupid they all are, and how he'd be infinitely better than them at racing.

Watch for:
- Comparisons to be drawn between Coutzy's sister and the lady who will forever be known as "Hunner's Girl" (Who up until this point, seems unable to move much faster than what can very generously be called a light jog.)
- Ranting about auras, karma, the placebo effect and confirmation bias.

Coutzy's special week by week awards! These will be handed out shortly after the episode and will include:
The Clive Peters Play Of The Day!- This prestigious award will go to the racer that makes the best move of the week. This can be awarded for all manner of things, including but not limited to an inspired round of airport shuffle, excellent task selection or canny navigational skills. Anything that puts your team at an advantage will be eligible for this award.

Muppet Of The Week!- On the other end of the scale, this award goes to someone who clearly spent this leg sans brain, just like the characters by Jim Henson.

Heel Moment Of The Week- Awarded for the moment where someone does something that will achieve nothing but make people mad. U-Turns, Yields and certain acceptable gameplay skullduggery does not qualify for this award.

Congratulations, You Just Made Youtube (Sponsored by Watermelon Headshot, Inc.)- Named by Vanessa in TAR 20, this award goes to the moment that has the best chance of going viral online.

Any Other Awards That I Think Will Be Funny At The Time- Awarded because I felt like it.


At the moment the commentary will just be text based. Myself and my webmonkeys are looking into ways to turn it into an audio commentary/podcast and (If we're really really lucky) video. A review podcast will be sorted out if there's significant interest.

Watch this space for further updates. Worst case scenario- I post my commentary here, like last season.
« Last Edit: July 19, 2012, 11:51:28 PM by Coutzy »

Online georgiapeach

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Worst case scenario- I post my commentary here, like last season.

BEST case scenario. :hearts:
RFF's Golden Rule:
Have RESPECT for each other, regardless of opinion. This of course includes no flaming/insulting other users and/or their posts.


Offline Coutzy

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Worst case scenario- I post my commentary here, like last season.

BEST case scenario. :hearts:

I'm investigating ways I can post smaller updates faster and not compromise the flow of the show. I'd also like a way to be able to have people chat around me without breaking the flow too.

Online georgiapeach

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We can always move your posts to another thread of your own later??
RFF's Golden Rule:
Have RESPECT for each other, regardless of opinion. This of course includes no flaming/insulting other users and/or their posts.

Offline Coutzy

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nvm.
« Last Edit: May 24, 2012, 10:55:41 PM by Coutzy »


Offline Reilly Queens

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I can't wait to read these!!11!

Offline Glamazon Racer

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I love the 'Congratulations, You Just Made You Tube'. :lol3: :lol3: :lol3:

Good luck, Coutzy! :)
1. Don't pick up the phone - You know he's only calling 'cause he's drunk and alone.
2. Don't let him in - You have to kick him out again.
3. Don't be his friend - You know you're gonna wake up in his bed in the morning.
And if you're under him, you ain't gettin' over him. ♥

Offline Declive

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I love the 'Congratulations, You Just Made You Tube'. :lol3: :lol3: :lol3:

Good luck, Coutzy! :)
Freedom is a lonely road.

Offline Polaroid

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Very excited for this! :hoot:

Offline Coutzy

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Less than 24 hours to go!


Offline Aussie

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Re: Coutzy's Commentary- AusTAR 2 Episode 1 "Why Am I Not On This Show?"
« Reply #10 on: May 29, 2012, 04:24:01 PM »
I can't wait to read these!!11!

me 2!!!1!

Offline stifflfootball

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Re: Coutzy's Commentary- AusTAR 2 Episode 1 "Why Am I Not On This Show?"
« Reply #11 on: May 30, 2012, 12:49:18 AM »
Happy AusTAR day!!!  Very happy it's back and looking forward to watching it.  :yess: :conf:
TAR - Around the world from the comfort of your couch.

Offline Coutzy

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Re: Coutzy's Commentary- AusTAR 2 Episode 1 "Why Am I Not On This Show?"
« Reply #12 on: May 30, 2012, 01:21:26 AM »
Less than 5 hours to go ladies and gentlemen! I'll hopefully be getting a bit of a warm up by doing Australia's Got Talent, so be sure to check in tonight before 9 PM AEST (4 hours and 40 minutes from now)

Offline Aussie

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Re: Coutzy's Commentary- AusTAR 2 Episode 1 "Why Am I Not On This Show?"
« Reply #13 on: May 30, 2012, 01:40:03 AM »
excited!1!

Offline Coutzy

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Re: Coutzy's Commentary- AusTAR 2 Episode 1 "Why Am I Not On This Show?"
« Reply #14 on: May 30, 2012, 01:57:45 AM »
And finally, my prediction for boot order. Please note that this season I have intentionally left myself with as little knowledge of results spoilers as possible.

11th: Ross and Taryn
10th: Joseph and Grace
9th: Sticky and Sam
8th: Lucy and Emelia
7th: Kym and Donna
6th: Michelle and Jo
5th: James and Sarah
4th: Sue and Theresa
3rd: Shane and Andrew
2nd: Paul and Steve
1st: Adam and Dane

Goodness, that was painful to do. There's a lot of non-talent out there this year, by the look of things. Putting Hunners Girl that high up the list, along with the cheerleaders screams against everything I know about racing ability, but I honestly can't see any of the people below beating them.

And while I don't think an all male final is very likely at all, they really seem like the only teams that on any other season would be capable of making it beyond leg 5. Adam and Dane's complete lack of press attention fills me with a deep sense of dread, though.

However! Last season I was way off the mark with Dave & Kelly and Sam & Renee. So who knows?


Offline theamazingracer21

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Re: Coutzy's Commentary- AusTAR 2 Episode 1 "Why Am I Not On This Show?"
« Reply #15 on: May 30, 2012, 04:58:57 AM »
And finally, my prediction for boot order. Please note that this season I have intentionally left myself with as little knowledge of results spoilers as possible.

11th: Ross and Taryn
10th: Joseph and Grace
9th: Sticky and Sam
8th: Lucy and Emelia
7th: Kym and Donna
6th: Michelle and Jo
5th: James and Sarah
4th: Sue and Theresa
3rd: Shane and Andrew
2nd: Paul and Steve
1st: Adam and Dane

Goodness, that was painful to do. There's a lot of non-talent out there this year, by the look of things. Putting Hunners Girl that high up the list, along with the cheerleaders screams against everything I know about racing ability, but I honestly can't see any of the people below beating them.

And while I don't think an all male final is very likely at all, they really seem like the only teams that on any other season would be capable of making it beyond leg 5. Adam and Dane's complete lack of press attention fills me with a deep sense of dread, though.

However! Last season I was way off the mark with Dave & Kelly and Sam & Renee. So who knows?
Well anything could happen with the voting U turn.

Offline Coutzy

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Re: Coutzy's Commentary- AusTAR 2 Episode 1 "Why Am I Not On This Show?"
« Reply #16 on: May 30, 2012, 05:48:31 AM »
Here we go! It's time for my warm up with the last bits of Australia's Got Talent!

We just saw an opera duo, Grant Denyer called it stunning, but lets see what the judges think:

Kyle thinks they were like two angels, but he wants to clip their wings so they can't escape. They sang very well, even though Opera isn't his thing.

Bryan thinks that people can appreciate how magical it was even though it was Opera, and there aren't many fans anymore.

Danni felt it was missing a moment where the two of them connected, and felt that if there wasn't an intro for them, she wouldn't have even known that the two had met. Kyle thinks it should have ended with a kiss, and Grant threatened to bring out the wooden spoon if Kyle didn't behave.

The girls say it was a huge moment in their lives, the biggest apart from getting married and having kids. Their number flashes up and asks us to vote if we want Divalicious to win.

Everyone gives them one last round of applause.

Next, Reece has dreamed of this his entire life, and hopes to launch his jazz career from the show.

Offline Coutzy

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Re: Coutzy's Commentary- AusTAR 2 Episode 1 "Why Am I Not On This Show?"
« Reply #17 on: May 30, 2012, 05:53:48 AM »
And we're back. Next up is Reece, who Grant is calling "The New Buble" even though he is only 17.

Danni says Rhys has natural talent, but wants to see him challenge himself.

He's doing a swing version of Bruno Mars' "Marry You"

Offline Coutzy

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Re: Coutzy's Commentary- AusTAR 2 Episode 1 "Why Am I Not On This Show?"
« Reply #18 on: May 30, 2012, 05:57:52 AM »
The judges were unimpressed. They all felt the song choice was very poor, and let him down, although his voice was good.

Kyle loved it, which is very weird because HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE MEAN JUDGE!

Offline Coutzy

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Re: Coutzy's Commentary- AusTAR 2 Episode 1 "Why Am I Not On This Show?"
« Reply #19 on: May 30, 2012, 05:59:53 AM »
Bryan wants Australia to bear in mind how good he was when he picked a good song when voting for their Grand Finalists.

And that's the end of the show! Next up- The Amazing Race Australia.

Offline Coutzy

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Re: Coutzy's Commentary- AusTAR 2 Episode 1 "Why Am I Not On This Show?"
« Reply #20 on: May 30, 2012, 06:09:13 AM »
GAME ON!

Grant: Morning is breaking over Sydney Heads, the entrance to the worlds biggest natural harbour.

From this harbour, 11 teams of two are about to embark on a race around the world. The teams are:

Shane and Andrew- Cops from Melbourne.

In our roles as cops we've been in some sticky situations, when you take someone to the trenches, we take eachother.

Cheerleader twins Michelle and Jo

We're born 34 seconds apart. The best things about being twins is more attention and finishing each other sentences.

Flatmates from Tassie Sticky and Sam

Sticky was born without one arm, and wants to prove that he can do anything anyone else can do. He steals the girls, which annoys Sam

James and Hunner Chick.

James is a 23 year old hotel manager, Hunners Chick is a 32 year old salon manager. They believe opposites attract.

Adam and Dane- Cousins.

They grew up with eachother and like to have a laugh. They believe their indigeonous side will help them out on the race.

From Geraldton WA, Sue and Teresa.

Teresa owns a hairdressing salon, and Sue has been working for her for 8 years. They believe very much in karma and positive vibes.

Athletic Father and Daughter Ross and Taryn

Ross played for Fitzroy and Melbourne in the AFL. Taryn's greatest accomplishment was making it to the top level of basketball in Australia.

Schoolteacher sisters Lucy and Emelia

They come from a traditional italian family. Lucy's voice is "A bit more on the woggy side." They work together at the same school, both teaching Italian.

Engaged Brisbane couple Kym and Donna.

They've known each other 4 years, and click together like 2 bits of lego. Kym is the rock, Donna is the crazy one. They're not here to make friends, they have enough already.

Joseph and Grace- Brother and Sister.

Joseph works for one of the big banks (I hate him just for that) Grace thinks he's a know it all, and she needs to tell him when he's wrong.

From Melbourne- Paul and Steve, workmates.

Paul runs accounts, Steve is more hands on. They are both in the roadworks industry. They are here to win. Paul isn't going to practice an elimination speech, because he plans on winning.

All do their run throughs, and Grant is explaining the rules.

Offline Coutzy

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Re: Coutzy's Commentary- AusTAR 2 Episode 1 "Why Am I Not On This Show?"
« Reply #21 on: May 30, 2012, 06:09:42 AM »
Intro comes up, but we've all seen that before.

Grant talks about strategy, strength and teamwork.

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Re: Coutzy's Commentary- AusTAR 2 Episode 1 "Why Am I Not On This Show?"
« Reply #22 on: May 30, 2012, 06:14:57 AM »
There are 12 legs on the race. At the end of each leg, a Pit Stop. Reach it last and you could be out of the race. The winning team gets $250,000. This time the race will be longer and more challenging.

For the winners of the first leg, the reward will be bigger than ever before.

Description of clues.

First clue is on the backpack. When Grant gives the word run.

The world awaits, good luck, race hard, race safe.

GO!

Travel on foot to Barangaroo Wharf on Sydney harbour. Once there, they must navigate their car out, even though it is parked in by 24 black cars. They may only drive their cars forward or in reverse, and all cars are in the same puzzle so teams may have to work together.

Hunners Chick already has the Stupidity Music going on while describing her unique footwear. My sister would have done much better off the starting line, I'm sure.

Paul and Steve are the first to a boat, and it's one boat per team. Kym and Donna are second, followed by Michelle and Jo.

Lucy and Emelia are bringing up the rear, and mention that its good to have decent shoes while they step over a puddle, but lament their inability to beat Hunners Chick on foot.

Paul and Steve and The Cops are at the car puzzle. Paul wants to take his time to look at the puzzle before choosing a car.

The Cops feel that their background as police prepares them for all situations, then promptly open the bonnet of their car instead of a boot.
« Last Edit: July 04, 2012, 07:20:45 AM by Coutzy »

Offline Coutzy

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Re: Coutzy's Commentary- AusTAR 2 Episode 1 "Why Am I Not On This Show?"
« Reply #23 on: May 30, 2012, 06:20:08 AM »
The cops and Adam and Dane are starting to work together. Paul and Steve worry they might be clearing the way for other teams  with their car. They get a clue once their car is out.

Teams must now drive themselves to Sydney Airport, then fly to Manila, Phillipines, then travel by taxi to a market, then find a marked stall for their next clue.

Paul has heritage in the Phillipines, and has been there before, but not for a long time.

Adam and Dane turned to get out, but they've caught themselves and are resetting.

Michelle and Jo have it solved quickly. Sticky and Sam have got lucky and found a car with an open path to the exit, they're out in 2nd place, The Cheerleaders in 3rd.

Sticky is having no trouble driving the car. The cheerleaders are from Sydney and turn left. Sticky and Sam wonder if they are from Sydney, but turn right.

The first instance of Aura Cleansing Spray (TM) is recorded, and the strains of a sitar behind Sue and Teresa doesn't do anything to dispel their image.

Teams 4, 5 and 6 are out of the maze.

Hunners Chick doesn't take kindly to being told to "shut up and listen" and promptly waddles off.

Michelle and Jo have made up time on Paul and Steve, and are now level at the airport. Sticky and Sam have wound up crossing the Sydney Harbour Bridge (MISTAKE.)

Ad break.

Sticky and Sam are in good contention for being Muppets of the Week so far, but let's see how it pans out.

Offline Coutzy

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Re: Coutzy's Commentary- AusTAR 2 Episode 1 "Why Am I Not On This Show?"
« Reply #24 on: May 30, 2012, 06:27:52 AM »
We're back.

Sarah has proven herself exceptionally useless at this puzzle, and is running in circles.

The Cousins and The Sisters are working together.

Lucy and Emelia are sticking around for a moment to check out the eye candy, but Adam and Dane, Lucy and Emilia and James and Hunners Chick are out.

Sue and Teresa are last.

Michelle and Jo reveal they were airline employees, but the first flight out has been delayed one hour. The cheerleaders claim that if it wasn't delayed, they'd have been the only ones on the flight. As it stands, Paul and Steve have also booked tickets.

The Hippies "didn't work out it was a puzzle until we got the last car out"

The sisters are arguing about whether or not yelling at cab drivers for directions is a good move.

Teresa is talking up her driving skills, and I smell foreshadowing.

Joseph and Grace thought that James was Sarah's son ala Toni and Dallas. The Cousins inform them that no, they're a couple.

All of the puzzle comes to naught, as every team makes it on the same flight.


 

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