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Hamerotz Lamillion 2: The Recaps

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:welcome2: to RFF, Jai Ho! These recaps are great!

Welcome Jai Ho, thanks for the wonderful recaps, and thanks for joining and sharing your expertise with us!


Jai Ho:

thank you Prophet and TexasLady!

Did you find anything particularly funny?

Do you have any other team nickname suggestions?

Jai Ho:
Part 3 (only took about an hour and a half!)

Brothers ask Anakiva to partner up and Tom gets in on the action too. Lawyer flaps his arms around and doesn’t get it even though he’s probably the smartest one there, but then approaches Adele and together they figure out the lyric “white butterflies” (ding!) and Alon kisses Adele. Oren then voices over that he and Adele (of all people, who’d have thought?) decided to start singing the rest of the songs out loud, and that helped, and sure enough, he and Adele inter-team and come up with “green night shirt” (ding ding ding) and there is much celebration. Anael praises Allah in what I hope is a joke and tfu tfu tfu’s that she and her partner have this much understanding through the rest of the race as they drive to the balls, whereas brothers and Tom and Adele head out on foot. Anakiva is the first to the field and Anael wards off the evil eye as she starts to look. Not all the balls have numbers. Anael finds a 5, but it’s pink. Zees ees going to take a vile.


Bar/Inna and Moti/Pundak arrive at the tractor and the girls get out to investigate. Bar is, for some reason, in the driver’s seat of the tractor. Well, that’s one way to exact revenge on your teammate. Inna and Moti are now climbing all over the tractor searching for a clue. We now get a segment called “Let’s Watch Inna’s Ass” with special commentary by Moti. Overcompensating, much? A car passes and with the Indian shouting, it’s clearly the ladies. I love it when we can just hear a team go past and identify them without even seeing a strand of hair. Not wanting to lose to two cartoon characters, the youngsters pop back in their cars; Osnat comments that the kids are eating “Yemenite dust” which is true in this case, and the ladies indeed beat them to the clue box. Of course, the ladies are dancing, the dudes are ogling Inna, and Bar is confused, as she relates in a confessional. I hear ya, sister. Inna suggests that it’s a Lior Narkis song, and since Narkis is daffodil in Hebrew, maybe yellow is a color. Nice complex thinking, but a little too far for this one.

Kickboxer and wife emerge at the scene and shake some booty, and the wife must have some modicum of fame because Pundak immediately recognizes her and refers to her by her full name. He and Moti then ask “what’s a fox like her doing with a Popeye like him” and though I’m wondering the same thing, just shut up and race. The dudes then come up with a green tree (?) and the white butterflies clue and then bail on the task in hopes of improvising at the ball field, and therein lies the fail-factor of the challenge planning. I knew some team would find a loophole.

Ball field. Anael finds a green as dudes arrive. Anakiva then find all the balls and start decoding, and get confused over whether it’s a 9 or a 6 on the green ball – I saw that coming in the preview, which showed the combo (367) hey producers, throw them a bone by at least underlining the six? Bastards. They get it anyway and get the clue. Akiva opens it, gets the tickets (itinerary?) and reveals that location number one is Budapest, Hungary. CALLED IT. Ron then introduces us to the airport and Budapest and recaps the whole “only ten teams will make it” dealio. Anakiva celebrates their win by singing, of course, which they apparently didn’t get enough of in the task, and they praise God once again, as you do.

Still on the road: Not Romeo and Juliet, Tal/Mor, and Bettie who calls her partner an alligator instead of a navigator. Tom/Adele and Bros head to the ball field. Osnat comes up with white night (?) and struggle to find the next color. Apparently, the brothers have gone in a circle because now they’re back at the singers and see the other teams working on the colors still. Alon spots the Yemenites sitting on the ground and call them over to their car. The ladies get in and the brothers give them the green clue. Alon kisses Osnat who practically molests both of them and they merrily head off to the ball field together. The brothers confessionalize that they are interested in helping out the “weaker” teams, a classic strategy which we don’t see too much of. Tom/Adele, bros, and Yemenites get to the field. Tom and Carmit find reds. And here come the dudes, who have a “genius” strategy of playing dumb so that “idiot” Tom will reveal their missing color. Or they could just ask. They think they’re so clever. I’m so over you already. Both teams find all the balls and head to their cars. Tom and Adele are now arguing about whether it’s a 7 or a 1 and MY GOD JUST OPEN THE DAMN CAGE BEFORE THE DOUCHEBAGS. They get it eventually and both teams head to Ben Gurion airport.

Speaking of the airport, here we are. Planes, Ron, driving, and congrats Anakiva, you’re team number one and they shriek. Anael interviews that it wasn’t easy but they’re here and they can’t believe it. Just get on the damn first flight.

Back on the road, Bettie Page proposes marriage to Gadi. Of course, this is exactly what you should be thinking about when you’re in last on Leg 1. Facepalm. And they are totally lost, finding a blue tractor and some Bedouins smoking hookahs. Nitzan and Fifi? Also lost.
At the choir, Bar and Inna notice the clothing colors (like I did) and head out as the choir laughs at them. As they drive away, they figure out the green shirt lyric and guess that it’s either red or orange as the last color, and Hen, back at the choir, figures out the white butterflies and they go. Both teams appear at the ball field and the brothers notice they’ve arrived and get disappointed in their luck as Inna immediately finds a red ball and Alon/Hen magically find all the balls within seconds and run back to their car and head out. The brothers bicker as Carmit finds the red ball for her team and stuffs it in her bra and the ladies decide to repay and help the brothers look for their balls. All they need is a green, fortunately. Meanwhile, Inna finds her last ball and she and Bar are off. They comment that they are glad the tickets are finally in their hands and Inna calls her partner Barbie, which is a nickname that’s both functional and funny. Hee. The brothers yell at the ladies to help them (kinda rudely) and Osnat says that they won’t leave them, which is nice of her. They have no clue why the ladies are staying to help them, but neither anywhere near last at this point so they can afford the time.

Dudes and Tom/Adele get to the airport in 2nd/3rd respectively and unsurprisingly. They get tickets on the first flight.

Tal/Mor, Burekas, and Not Romeo and Juliet are at the choir. For some reason, Not Romeo and Juliet leave for no reason (maybe they
were just quiet for once?) and Fifi figures out the white butterflies clue and shares it with Mama and Daughter. Mor suggests green, Tal says no, but then changes her mind and they all leave just as Alona/Gadi arrive.

Field. Carmit finds a green for the brothers finally. Maybe the old ladies ain’t as weak as you thought, are they now? Osnat points out the irony of them finding the green that the brothers helped them find earlier with the clue. Heh. Just get in the car and go. The ladies cheer for Hungary and Shira sourpusses that the “reds” (ladies with red shirts, mayhap) can’t beat them. Oh the humanity.

Cut to the choir, and Bettie is babbling once again about her stupid tiger tights. The choir laughs AT her, not with her. To their credit, the musicians manage to figure the red and green out quickly and we cut to Shira wandering around the ball field. They and the bakers get the clue and head to the airport. Mom/Daughter are behind them and fretting, and Shira demonstrates her Hungarian skills by saying “I love you” to her partner in Hungarian, aided helpfully by the subtitles.

Airport. Hen and Alon, you are team number four and on the first flight. Brothers, you are team number five and last on the first flight. Their first comment? “****.” Annnnd here come the Yemenites, playing on a luggage cart and singing when they should be running. They greet Ron and find out they are on the second flight (apparently) in sixth place. For some reason, Ron asks them if they don’t want to go, but Osnat theorizes that they’ll always love Israel, but peace out. She then lists all the famous people that have come from her town and more celebrating. Night falls, and Bar/Inna arrive in seventh. Inna immediately breaks down in tears and Bar comforts her by saying “as long as I have hands to draw with, my legs aren’t critical.” WTF? I hope she didn’t mean that.

Back at the field, the lollygaggers look for balls. Alona calls Gadi Pinocchio. Sunset comes, and it’s Mor’s hot pink fingernails that find their third ball and open the lock. Bettie/Pinocchio break out the headlamps and Bettie finds a white ball and declares herself and Gadi “back in the game.” Whatever, crazy tiger lady. At the airport, Not Romeo and Juliet come in 8th and Burekas in 9th.

Two teams left but only one set of seats. Bettie stays positive and declares that she’s not giving up hope for a minute. Tal passes an airport sign, again ignoring her daughter. Mor interviews that she is not going home. Well, back to her mom’s house, anyway. Bettie sings. Mor bitches. Cars arrive. Ron checks his watch, like he’s got a date.


Bells, and Rocky music. Annnnnndddd…Tal and Mor, you’re team number ten and live to race another day in your neon bras. Ron welcomes them to the race and Mor says they’re only going up from here.

Bettie and Pinocchio trudge into Ben Gurion airport, and he hands over the clue, nervously. Tension. Kiss. Elimination. Gadi says “it is what it is,” and they exit with some dignity. They say nice things about each other, Gadi stays married, and Alona stays delusional and hoping that his wife realizes how lucky she is.

Next week: Budapest! Hungary! Struggling with street names! Eating the spicy soup that made Freddy and Kendra vomit back in season 6! Anael is scared of a cute little pig but I think she’s more scared of possibly having to eat it.

Till next time!


Any thoughts?

Jai Ho:
Episode 2:

Previously, Israel. Today, Hungary.


Ron tells us a bit about Hungary, then we see the first five teams on spoonfed flight 1: Anakiva, Bros, Dudes, Tom/Adele, and Alon/Hen. Teams get into cars en route Pilisvorosvar, where they will eat goulash. Delicious. Anael wishes a good morning to Hungary as her partner prays in the car and voices over “we’re not the best team, but we’re trying to live the best life.” Fair enough. Akiva uses his tzitzit (ritual fringed garment) to measure distance on the map and that is pretty freakin’ cool. The brothers have Post-Its on their windshield and are arguing again. Tom/Adele noisily pass up Alon/Hen, and they trash talk with Tom saying that Alon can’t drive and apparently Alon pointing out that Tom doesn’t speak English. Adele baby-talks Pilisvorosvar and mispronounces stuff and Tom starts singing “Besame” and I really hope this whole series doesn’t evolve into the Adele Learns to Read show because that would be super boring. Moti honks his way around asking half the population of Hungary where to go and calling everyone “the man.” For some reason, we hear “The Nutcracker” as Hen and Alon ask gas station people and Tom and Adele join them. Tom wants to buy porn at the gas station. Hee.

We see signs for Pilisvorosvar and Moti/Pundak talk about hot Hungarian chicks and talk about who’s got more game, but they and and Anakiva make it to the restaurant in first/second. Ron explains the task, which is to eat the spicy soup together with only one glass of water between them. Ouch. Moti/Pundak act dopey as Anael hugs a local. Moti reasons that this will be easy for the Yemenites since they are used to spicy food and asks for some chilba, and Anael begs for less soup. Moti talks about it being like when you get a pot of soup and dump it all out, and I have a feeling he might be pouring some out but not with a spoon. Moti feeds Pundak with a tiny baby spoon and it reminds me of when Joey feeds Jesse baby food on an early Full House episode and Jesse looks horrified. Moti says it’s not that spicy – oh wait. They ask for some lip gloss, randomly, and then Pundak returns the favor. Locals clap and Pundak calls Moti a little girl. Anakiva bless the food and start feeding each other the soup, which I guess is part of the terms of the challenge. They talk about this not being for Ashkenazim and Anael begs to open a window as we go to commercial.

Back on the road, Tom/Adele are lost. Alon/Hen get to the restaurant in third. Moti starts a “full full full” cheer for Alon. Chug-a-lug, indeed. Hen is wiping her eyes already and declares that she’s steaming up as her boyfriend shovels six spoonfuls in her mouth one after the other and Moti/Pundak look on in admiration. Hen admits that yes, she’s a model, but she doesn’t know how to make herself throw up. You’ve got time, honey. Anael cheers on Akiva as the second flight comes in with Yemenites, Firashira, Tal/Mor, Burekas, and Barbies. Tal looks up the restaurant and says it’s not in Lonely Planet, and Bar/Inna talk about how smart they are. Shira is complaining as usual. Osnat and Carmit declare that they’re in the zone. Tal/Mor in their Rainbow Brite hats (of course – hey, we got a nickname!) find a blonde in a local gas station who’s going in the same direction and Mor arranges for a follow. Tal comments that it’s the blond leading the blond (eh, that’s about as good as we’ll get from her). I must say that Mor’s got a pretty good command of English from this scene, so maybe Tal should listen to her daughter. Blondie gives them a little tour as we return to the restaurant where the bros and Tom/Adele arrive and the locals chant at the brothers who gear up to eat. Adele claims allergy but it’s Tom who seems to be more in pain. Moti and Pundak finish first with Anakiva on their tails, and everyone cheers and the locals chant Moti. Moti says he’ll call them. I bet he’s not gonna.

Clue time! Teams must go to Pusslaci and catch 2 pigs. And in an even odder twist, it’s time for a U-Turn, and apparently teams get to vote for who they want to U-Turn. It’s just like voting for Prom Queen! The Dudes pick Alon/Hen (who finish and head outside to return the favor) and Anakiva admits that they are picking the Rainbow Brites because they are scared and possibly turned on by their muscles. In the Rainbow car, Tal is guruing, and Shira sees a sign and cheers in her car. Yemenites comment on the scenery, and Bar and Inna are OUT OF GAS. And conveniently, in front of the bakers too. Nitzan giggles as Bar and Inna rock the car. Inna almost gets hit by a car as she flops out for help and they chit chat with the bakers and Bar/Inna comment on the bakers’ relationship.

Puss Laci. Moti/Pundak ride in in first as Moti makes pig sounds. Anakiva are right behind and both teams suit up. Pundak and Akiva jump into the mud first and Pundak has a Western standoff while Anael flips out in her floral skirt as Akiva runs after the pig. Moti taunts his partner that Adele’s more of a man than he. Cut to Adele crying so hard her mascara runs.

Restaurant. Rainbows sing our first Hava Nagila of the race. As they praise their blonde leader (hee) she tells them that she was Miss Hungary. Whoa, I guess they picked the right local then! She gives a pageant wave to the Rainbows as she drives off to be an ex-beauty queen in a tracksuit and the Rainbows comment on her ambassadoring skills while they do the restaurant rip-n-read. Tal and Mor introduce themselves as the locals cheer and the bros finish. They vote Alon/Hen for prom queen due to Alon’s strength and navigating skills (apparently) so that’s 2 for Kickboxer/Wife. Firashira arrive at the restaurant and Shira is freaking out already, predictably, and Firass, for once, takes charge, much to surprise of both me and Tom/Adele who look on in shock. Tom suggests he and Adele bless the food to make it go down easier and has Adele repeat the blessing “once more with feeling.” Hee. Tom serenades Adele and gies with a necklace of peppers as she finishes and Alon/Hen get their third vote for Prom Queen.

Alon/Hen arrive at the pigs and within seconds Alon has one so maybe the other teams do have the right idea. Pundak gets a pig and if you blink, you miss Hen getting her pig which practically jumps into her arms. Moti jumps in the mud and mugs for the crowd, of course, and Pundak declares his partner smarter than a baby pig. Hee. Alon/Hen get their clue in second and it’s the first Detour of the season after what seems like an eternity already – Circus or Waltz. In Circus, teams must do a circus training, and in Waltz, teams must earn at least 21 points, as Ron explains while dancing with a pretty local. Both choose waltz as Akiva tackles the pig. Anael attempts to calm herself by telling the pig she will not eat it since she is a Jew but she is too scared to even touch it. Anael responds by throwing up into the mud which will add a fun, new element to this challenge for his girlfriend! Cut to Shira doing the same at the restaurant.

The Yemenites arrive at the restaurant and Carmit’s pants keep falling down. Shira comments that they need to hurry and beat the Yemenites who will love the spicy soup. They sing and enjoy their soup, downing it like the spicy food champs they are, and they comment that it’s not spicy at all! God love ‘em. Shira asks her partner if they’re Yemenites or Iraqis for some odd reason, and vomits again and they’re out of water. The ladies look over at Firashira dubiously and they do not care for them. Mor comments that each spoonful is one spoonful closer to the million and with that, Osnat and Carmit are done and officially rocket their way up to sixth, with a half cup of water to spare. Not so weak now, Alon and Oren? Rainbows are done too and both teams exit the restaurant. The Yemenites vote for Firass and Shira and my love for them increases and Tal/Mor choose the dudes.

Speaking of the dudes, they and Alon/Hen arrive at the Waltz detour; Hen applies makeup and puts on a dress and the guys put on tuxes. Moti molests a local and declares that all the girls in Israel will be jealous bleaaaaaaaaargh. Less douching, more dancing. Moti asks the sexy instructor to find him on Facebook. Hen loves to dance and Moti/Pundak flirt more. Back at the pigs, Anael is crying hysterically and is  scared but finally does it, afterwards going “ick ick ick.” As we go to commercial.

We’re back, and it’s Anael’s turn to jump into the pigpen. Tom/Adele and the brothers arrive and Adele and Oren hop into the mud for their teams. Oren catches his pig while trying to insist that they’re on the same team. Anael finally catches a black pig after Akiva tells her to be a champ like Kill Bill and as Akiva carries the pig away, he proclaims him untasty. Heh. Anakiva wash their hands vigorously and head out. Alon catches a pig. Tom and Adele bicker until she catches one. Brothers get the clue and Tom handles the pig like a soccer ball and they’re off too. Tom and Adele have no idea what a waltz is (?) so they pick circus, and joke around with the brothers, who will waltz.

At the music hall, Moti and Pundak do the waltz and Moti comments on the gay judge in the middle with the black fur coat. Said gay judge doesn’t appreciate this unspoken comment. Hen and Alon dance, and she tells us her dream of being on Dancing with the Stars. I was waiting for that. Gay judge Simon Cowells the kickboxer and wife and tells them to come back. What is this, auditions for the talent show? Just give them the damn clue. Moti rates himself as a 12. Gay judge gives them a 1, and they get a 12 total, and this is boring. OH MY GOD THIS LEG IS TAKING FOREVER.

Anael and Akiva arrive at the circus and get made up to do the balancing activities. Anael, it should be said, makes for an incredibly cute clown. They quickly decide they made a mistake and switch. Firass/Shira finish their soup and vote for Burekas because they know they’re in front of them, and said team along with Bar/Inna finally make it to the soup and start eating. Burekas make quick work of it as do Bar/Inna. Burekas choose Firass/Shira and Bar/Inna cast the 4th vote for Kickboxer and Wife, and so I guess Hen is dressed appropriately to receive the Prom Queen tiara. Akiva and Anael arrive at the waltz and Moti/Pundak try again. It’s still dopey but the judges pass them. The instructor asks for a picture with Moti and more mugging and Facebook and blah. They arrive at the U-Turn board and find out that Alon/Hen and the Rainbows voted for they but they are safe. Rainbows get to the pigs having made up some time and Mama gets hers. Mor compares it to picking up stray cats. Yemenites arrive as well and Carmit jumps into the pen. Osnat tells her to think that the pigs are Moroccans. Hee. Mor jumps in as Mom gurus and gets one after a bit of a struggle. They finish and choose Waltz.

Back at the dance hall, Anakiva impress the judges on their first try. They give the judges a crash course in being Jewish and score a perfect 21, boosting them the 2nd. They are not U-turned. Firass/Shira arrive at the pigs, and Firass gets one quickly and Shira screams loud enough for the both of them. Carmit? No such luck. Shira gets THROWN into the mud by her partner, who I suspect has been wanting to do that for a while now, and she tearfully approaches the pigs. Firass tells Shira the pigs are more scared of her, and she stands there and sulks like the Flo she is. Carmit finally has success, as Osnat jumps in and does the pen and has no trouble at all catching the pig. They choose Waltz. Firass and Shira bicker and Shira just stands there. DO SOMETHING. Shira finally gets the pig and cries some more. They also choose waltz. The brothers arrive at the waltz and Alon/Hen? Still there. Tom/Adele arrive and seem to dance well. The brothers seem to have rhythm and fun as they perform. Adele does somersaults and the judges are impressed. She finishes with a split. Both teams finish, as do Alon/Hen. U-Turn board! Brothers strategy seems to work as they are safe as well as Tom/Adele. Hen/Alon hope against hope in their cab as we go to commercial.

Back, and at the dance hall. Rainbows dance and Tal comments she doesn’t even own a pair of heels. Yemenites do some Yemenite dancing and confess that they’re not that refined. Firass/Shira appear, and gay judge hates them. Gay judge loves the Yemenites and gives them a ten, and the judges actually get up and dance around the room with the ladies, Yemenite-style, as Shira watches and calls them crazy. Crazy, maybe; but better than you? Any day. After an eternity with the judges, they and the Rainbows leave. Firass and Shira get their clue and leave as well.

U-Turn board, Alon/Hen find out their fate, and the episode ends.

Next time: Straitjackets! Throwing green and purple water! Houdini-style tricks! Someone almost drowns! Anakiva pray some more! Someone gets eliminated FINALLY. It better be Firass and Shira.


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