Author Topic: SURVIVOR INSIDER: Palau, Episode 13  (Read 2436 times)

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Offline puddin

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SURVIVOR INSIDER: Palau, Episode 13
« on: May 13, 2005, 12:04:04 AM »
Thanks to DCReads56  }bH{

Welcome to Survivor Insider!

Psprecinctprez & I are typing away at several hundred miles per minute (we're that good!) to bring you the Survivor Insider scoop. Don't forget to say thank you and renew our ezSupporters (heh heh heh)!


Finished: Koror Tribal Council, Caryn: Final Words, Back-Stabbers, Friend or Foe?, and Sugar and Spice.

Left to go: Caryn: The Day After, Game On, and And The Oscar Goes To...

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Koror Tribal Council
Caryn Voted Out
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Ian (Votes Caryn): Best three seconds of my day. Can’t wait for you to go home!

Katie (Votes Caryn): I think that I don’t know what to believe, but I think that this guarantees me a spot in the Final 4.

Tom (Votes Caryn): Caryn, it’s not that you didn’t know there was a game going on. You just didn’t like the hand that you were getting dealt today. Sorry.

Jen (Vote Caryn): Caryn, I really wanted to do the women’s alliance thing with you, but you just – it works out better this way. It keeps me in for a little while longer.

Caryn (Votes Ian): You told me that if I followed your strategy with Tom that we would go and we would control the game and that was a lie.


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Caryn
Final Words
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DC Notes: She’s very much a lawyer, especially in Part 2. Her “I must focus” schpiel kind of reminds me of a mellow Carolyn Burnham.


Caryn: You know, it’s a mixed baggage of emotions how I feel now that I’ve been voted out. I mean, I took a calculated risk to say everything and just get everything out in the open because there’s been so much going on. I’m so frustrated – and all the gossip and talking and backtracking and planning and plotting! I’ve had it up to here! Including from myself.

So in one way, maybe I regret using that strategy because it didn’t work. But on the other hand, it is a relief because it is really intense right now – what’s going on at camp with all the twosomes (hehe yeah…) talking and the threesomes (ooo, kinky) talking and the foursomes (ooo, very kinky!) talking, and everyone wondering what everyone’s saying. So on the one hand, it’s a relief, and on one hand, I kind of wish that I hadn’t done that particular strategy and maybe played a little longer and made it a little further.

(Cut)

I am surprised I got this far into the game because I really didn’t connect deeply with anyone. Mostly everybody except for Tom and Janu and Willard, who got voted out early, were much younger. It was a much younger crowd. .

So I’m really in a different frame of mind. I don’t talk about bars and guys and getting laid and all that stuff, so I didn’t connect with them on a lot of levels for a lot of conversations. I kind of felt more mature and just past all that stuff, so I didn’t really connect with anybody. Well, a little bit with Tom because he and I are both parents and we both have 3 kids. I did feel like I had some connection with Tom. And I liked talking to Ian. He’s intelligent young man, but I didn’t really have any bonds with anyone else, so it does surprise me that I got so far in the game.

(Cut)

By playing this game I really feel that I’ve learned:

1) That I can endure a lot more than I thought I could endure;
2) That I am tougher than I thought I was;
3) That I can sort of make myself fit in, while I can’t be totally phony and make up stupid jokes and do all that kind of stuff.

I can tolerate a lot more annoying people than I thought – like for example, Tom never stopped talking, Katie never stopped talking. I didn’t know if it would just drive me nuts being out here with people that were bugging me, and I realized that I have a very high tolerance level.

And of course, of course, of course, I realize – I mean, I always realized how much I love my family, but I think it’s like double, triple, quadruple enforced that I am one of the luckiest people in the world

(Part 2)

In order to control your emotions when you’re playing the game, I think you have to – a couple of things: not think about things that make you sad, or that take you away from your focus. If I start daydreaming about my family or this or that, I really need to just – you really need to just stay focused on what’s the next challenge, how am I going to prepare, if I make it through the next day who am I going to align with, who am I going to talk to, what’s my plan, what’s my strategy?

I think when you let your emotion get into it, or you start trusting people or making friends or think you have friends or think you have an ally, and start thinking about, “Gosh, that’s so nice” or “Gosh, you’ve been so kind to me,” - When you let all that get in the way, you lose your focus. And when you lose your focus you get emotional and it’s like a Catch-22. So I would say stay focused on what is the next thing and don’t get distracted by, “Gosh, I really don’t want to lie to you. I really don’t want to do this.” Or careful how you’re couching words so you don’t hurt someone else’s feelings. Screw it. Just stay focused on the next step and don’t worry about other people’s feelings and don’t worry about if your feelings are hurt and don’t worry about what’s going on at home. And don’t read your letters too much from home. Just stay focused on the next thing and you try to keep your emotions out of it.

(Cut)

I walk away with confidence that, if god forbid something happened to me and I was stranded somewhere, I know I could take care of myself. I know I could take care of my family. I know if something happened really terrible I could come through it. I kind of always knew that about myself, but I think this maybe reinforced it.

It also reinforced that I’m a lot more emotional. Once it got to Day 30 and we got the letters from home I started getting really emotional and felt like I had a little disconnect with the game. I started thinking about my family, it’s Day 30, only 9 more days.

I realize now that if I am going to really be focused on something, I have to really stay focused. I can’t – what I was doing the first 30 days was just limiting my time, thinking about my family in the mornings and the nights. And when I started letting it seep in, I started getting a little more emotional, maybe not think as clearly. It might have thrown my game off a little bit. I don’t think it did, but I think maybe in some ways it did. So I have a renewed understanding of my sense of focus.

(Cut)

It’s not getting what you love, it’s loving what you get. And I loved my 36 day adventure. And I am now looking forward to going home to my friends and family who I love and miss very much.


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Back Stabbers
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Description: Why has Tom been so protective of Caryn? Listen as Tom explains their relationship.

Tom (Confessional): Yeah, Caryn says that she trusts, that she’s giving me her full trust implicitly and the whole thing, but I pointed out to her today: you were on the chopping block a few times and I always went out of my way to give you a little reassurance, give you a little advice. Yesterday I was on the chopping block - you didn’t even talk to me. Well it was “I didn’t want to be seen, I didn’t want to lie, I didn’t wanna.”

Caryn pretends she’s playing the game on a higher level than other people. She’s right down here in the trenches with us. She’s slugging it out, making her deals, going back, telling me, “This one said that, the other one said that.” You know. I think it kind of eases her guilt that she kind of thinks she’s playing it cleaner, but at the end here we’re all fighting for a million dollars and we’re not fighting for each other. We’re fighting for ourselves.

(Cut)

Early on I just let Caryn know that I would look out for her, just to have another set of ears on the ground. I said to her, “You watch my back, I’ll watch yours. We’re the 40 year olds, the parents in this game, and wouldn’t it be nice if we both get to the end of this game.”

So with that in mind, I’ve always kind of protected her. I’ve talked her out of a few votes. They were mentioning her name real early in the game –before Willard even. And I was like, “No no, Willard’s going, not Caryn.” And they were talking about dumping Caryn before Janu even went, and once again, my thing was like “Send Janu home. She’s just a liability at this point for the whole tribe.”

So I have defended Caryn a few times. And once again, not because I’m a saint, but because I felt there were favors that might come back to me someday. Hopefully I get to cash those favors in. Hopefully she believes that I did look out for her as far as I could and it’s not a malicious vote, it’s just that the votes are against her and if that’s the way it’s going then I got to play along with my alliance. She may very well hold me more responsible than anyone else for writing her name down because I was closer to her, but so be it. You can’t worry about every vote on the jury at this stage. You got to get yourself to that jury vote and hope you can square it away with them later.


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Friend or Foe?
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Description: Is Ian and Katie's friendship falling apart? Listen as Ian gives his take on the situation.

Ian (Confessional): Gamewise, I don’t know what’s going on with the game. I mean, Katie was very blatant with me and said, “I think Tom or Caryn need to go tonight but I’ll have you know that I’m playing a game to win. I’m going to stand on my own two feet with it. I don’t need you to win.” And she’s right. She doesn’t need me to win. I’m going to compete. And I was like, “That’s good. I hope you compete the whole time.” I also reiterated to her that this is a game. There are things that happen out here that don’t happen back home. There are things that happen for a million dollars that you wouldn’t see in normal life, in life outside the game. It’s a definite juxtaposition that goes on with all these things. She realizes that, and it just sucks that you have to mix the two and that’s probably the darker side in Survivor.

As far as my strategy goes now, I don’t now what’s going to happen. I don’t know. I know that I have to win immunity, and Katie pretty much said, “If Tom doesn’t win, you need to go.” I think she may be trying to scare me . I think she was be a little upset with me. We’ll see. I do feel very vulnerable at the next Tribal Council but I’m going to work my butt off to win immunity and hopefully get a day or two out of it to smooth things over some more and save a friendship and the game.

(Cut)

I don’t know where Ian, Tom, and Katie stand now. I think Katie wants Tom gone, but once we get to 4, the game’s going to change again. I’m going to have some decisions to make. I don’t know what I’m going to do yet. But the game got interesting all of a sudden! Gosh, what a rollercoaster of hellish fun. Are we having fun? Are we having fun yet? (Laughs)

All of a sudden the game’s on full gear. We all said, Oh no, the game’s not going to get ugly, not with us, we’re one big happy family. We’re the Huxtables.

And in reality, that’s not the case. The game does get ugly. Everybody wants a million bucks. I want it just as bad as everybody else does. But there are certain things that are more important than the million dollars as well, and one of them is a good friend. And that was the first priority today.

(Cut)

Yes, I am afraid (laughs). I am afraid that the mistake that I made will cost me a million dollars. Because Katie was very blatant with the fact that, “I want to stick with Ian to the end,” this morning on the beach. “Even if I don’t win the million just so he can.” Gosh, how touching was that? For me, you shouldn’t do that. Why should anybody do that? Why should anybody let me take the million and just take second place? Katie said this morning that’s what she was planning on doing. That was like, wow! I made a bigger mistake than I thought I did, as far as the game goes. So yeah, I mean the mistake that I made, will it cost me a million dollars? It could very well. And one of the hardest lessons I’ll have ever learned for sure, if a mistake like that will cost me a million dollars.


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Sugar and Spice
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Description: Jen reveals her strategy. Is she as sweet as she seems?

Jen (Confessional): Ian and Katie seem to have like a brother-sister relationship. I don’t think it goes beyond anything beyond that. They just seem really close and seem to care a lot about each other.

She was really hurt by yesterday, but she seems to have gotten over it really quickly. And I just need to – I think I need to do a better job of being devil’s advocate or something and jus playing that up and “How horrible was it that he did that to you?” And really trying to pound that into her brain that it didn’t not happen. He still did it. He still hurt her. She forgave him but it doesn’t mean that she owes him anything. So I just need to be really more vocal about that.

(Cut)

Really surprised at how quickly Katie recovered from being pissed at Ian! She was – hearing lots of Katie stories, she’s not very good with men in general. Men have hurt her over and over and over again, and it sounds like she just allows that to happen and it’s just one more instance of that happening. And Katie really wants to be a strong, individual woman, and not letting that happen to her, and I just have to keep reiterating to her that she’s letting that happen if she lets these guys steamroll her. She needs to stay strong and say “This is what Jen and I are doing. Are you in?” We need to start calling the shots, not them.

(Cut)

I am happy with whatever happens. I have made it this far. I’m happy. I’ll make it tomorrow and whatever happens after that is fine with me. Fine. I’ve gotten really far and I’m happy with that. I’m not willing to – there’s some things I’m not willing to do. And I’m willing to fight for myself to try to make good decisions, but I’m not going to screw people over left and right and try to make deals here and there. I’m just not. I’m just not. I’m going to try to stick to something and feel good about it.

(Cut)

I think about it all the time, but I also realize that everyone else thinks about it all the time too. And I know my chances are 1 in 5 right now. Tomorrow they’ll be 1 in 4. That’s all I can do.

(Cut)

The group talks about in general how the game is just wearing on all of us. Lack of food, lack of sleep, lack of everything. It’s just wearing on every single person. People are pulling out all the stops. I don’t think Tom would ever – I don’t know Tom that well, but I don’t think he’d ever resort to serious threats! It’s like we feel like he’s going to break our kneecaps if you don’t do what he says! Not me. But I hate seeing the ugly side of people, and I knew that was going to happen. But it still sucks.

(Cut)

I don’t even know if it’s the money necessarily. It’s just about winning. People – we’ve got competitive people out here. To me almost it’s like that too. It’s just want to win! Want to win, want to win! And the money is just kind of secondary right. It’s weird. It’s just, you don’t want that person to make it further than you.
« Last Edit: May 13, 2005, 01:49:19 AM by puddin »