American Idol – New Orleans
Mmmm New Orleans!!! A town that has always rocked in both music and singing. But alas as we soon find out, no matter how much bourbon we drink will not make some of these folks sound any better.
Tonight they had a guest host. Gene Simmons of Kiss. Now granted I like the music of Kiss. They were ahead of their time. The costumes, the music, and of course the makeup. It’s seems however that all those years of wearing face paint has finally gotten to Simmons. It has apparently seeped into his bloodstream. I guess he had “nothin’ to lose” by doing this gig. He actually was giving Simon a run for his money with his telling every other contestant in so many words that they weren’t worth a “deuce”. How the hell do you tell them they sing great, have an excellent voice, but were not right for idol?
OK let’s get to the heart of the matter here. How bad were they tonight? We had few that stuck out in my opinion. The first one would have to be Daron.
Whoa, did he by some chance meet Mary from last week and have her do his hair? Bad idea if he did. He somehow looked like he came off the set of The Rocky Horror Show or is he really Gene Simmons’ love child. I mean think about it. Picture a young Gene Simmons. Now look at his picture. Bottom line his singing sucked worst than his hair did. He can always audition for that TV show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy I guess.
Bobby Barfoot. Is that his real name? Barfoot? Sheeze. He already has a strike in my book and he didn’t even open his mouth. They show a clip of him with his entire trading card collection. Do you care? Well, neither did I. That’s strike two. He goes in and proceeds to sing a yodeling type song and ends with a big HEE HAW!! Well, at least it was on key I would admit that. The judges debate on him and ask him to disappear behind the wall and sing another song. Out of sight, out of mind. Good ridden I say. Don’t come back. Go sell your collection on E bay.
Here and there they showed a few of the winners with the yellow paper that will take them on to Hollywood. One winner I noticed was Contestant 17783. Damn I know her. Well not personally, but she looks soooooooooo familiar. And then it hit me. That girl is Cassie Le Beau.
She was on last year’s AI auditioning. Her voice was ok last year. Nothing that would make you sit up and really take notice of her. She got the axe before the final round. Perhaps these 365 days gave her time to practice and improve her voice. Lord knows her style of dressing has not.
The Jefferson Twin. These guys made it. Why? I have no idea. They sang fair at best, need a complete makeover. Those gangstas getups as so last year! Sorry, but those head caps had to go as well. (Do you think Mary did their hair?) Gene Simmons who has been total hard ass this whole show is letting em pass. AHA, just like I thought earlier, the lead paint definitely has gotten into his bloodstream. And so off to Hollywood these two go. (Hums to myself here “We’re moving on up”………..)
Rick & JP. Another set of twins. Me? I thought they sounded better than the Jefferson Twins. I thought they looked better than the Jefferson Twins too. But alas I am not a judge and so they got the axe after a dragged out discussion among the judges about the options of taking one of em, both of em or none of em. The ems lost on all three counts.
A nice outfit will always make me take notice. So here we have Sundeep. He looks good, dresses well, didn’t let Mary do his hair and might just have what they are looking for. Damn it!!! He opened his mouth and sang. What a bummer. He was so off key that he woke my dogs up from their nap. They kind of looked around the room wondering what the heck that sound was. Need I say more?
Sometimes just the sight of the contestant tells you that they are going to be bad. In comes Robbie. I am betting my last dollar he sucks. The odds of him being another Clay do not appear to be in his favor. Perhaps he is this year’s William Hung. He will get a fan club, a music contract, and get his 15 minutes of fame. Alas he is not good. Plain and simply put, he sucked. He also was not another William Hung. His total time of fame has now been reduced to exactly one minute. Goodbye Robbie. Don’t call us. We’ll call you.
In comes Michael. He’s smiling a lot and seems very friendly and down to earth. While he does not appear to be the American Idol there is something that makes me say that the audience will definitely like him. His fan base will most likely grow over time if he makes the top 20. So lets cut to his audition. MY GAWD! He can actually sing. In fact I think he is the best I have heard to date so far! He stayed in his range, didn’t try to over kill the song, and didn’t attempt to be overly animated. Woo hoo; I think we have winner folks. When he got accepted he was running all over the place outside screaming at the top of his lungs with joy. He ran into the streets jumping up and down. I kept waiting for the city bus to come by and make him go splat. That would have been priceless.
And now for our final contestant. This review would not be complete with out the one the only Leroy Wells. Remember the expression “What’s ya talking about Willis?” Leroy is definitely it! The guy could not sing to save his life. Heck I could not even understand him when he was talking. I must admit he was funny as all hell though. Thank God they used the closed captions to help us understand him else I would have been totally lost. I kept waiting for him to break into a Samuel L. Jackson in "Jungle Fever" bit: "I am a Cuh-Cuh-Cuh-Cuh-Crackhead".
Next week is Vegas. I can hardly wait. To me Vegas is like Disney World on LSD. Woo hoo.
I :heart Mary Camelteaux. She deserves her own TV sheaux!!! ((^