Thanks to DCReads56 as posted at Sucks~
Welcome to Survivor Insider!
Welcome to Survivor Insider!
This Insider is dediated to Aunt Pappy for being one cool dude and buying me EZ Supporter!!!!
Mark Burnett: If you're listening - stop scheduling Survivor finales during Exam Finals! You SUCK.
Left to go: Calm Down, and Sitting Duck.
Alinta Tribal Council
Scout (Votes Jwles): Jules, you shouldnít have eaten my banana (
?). I sure like you a lot. Youíre a lot of fun. A wise woman once gave me some good information that altered the course of my destiny and I want to pass it on to you. Go back to your roots, Jules. Rediscover your roots.
Julie (Votes Twila): Sweet, sweet revenge. I really hope that this works out tonight and Chris is in 100%. Iíve been trying to send your ass home for a while. Youíre the snake. I just want to get rid of the snake. No one ever has the balls to get rid of the snake. But uh bye bye T.
DC Notes: Sheís so funny when she votes. Itís not nearly as bitter as it sounds in print. She botox-smiles a lot.
Chris (Votes Julie!): Itís tough (pause). I gotta play the game (pause, then puts vote in).
DC Notes: He stands there clutching the pen for 20 seconds before writing. He looks sad to vote her out.
Twila (Votes Julie): Hope thereís no hard feelings. (I donít know what she says next - I ... want to see?
? I donít want to sing?
Eliza (Votes Twila): Twila, I have been waiting to vote you off since the day I met you! I cannot believe that 36 days later Iím finally getting this opportunity (.... to slick you?
DC Notes: I canít understand half of what sheís saying, but sheís grinning like an idiot.
Julie: Well, I thought Chris and I had this kind of straight-forward, brother-sister, kind of slapped-each-other-around relationship. He said heíd tell me either way what he was doing, and he told me 100% that he was going to vote for Twila. It increased as the day went on. I donít know if he changed last minute. Iím curious, kind of. Chris was kind of my crutch today and my crutch broke! (Laughs)
I came in here and really was frustrated at my performance in all of the challenges. I felt below average, and statistically it was below average. That was a hard pill to swallow. I got a lot of compliments from people - the other Survivor just reminding me how light-hearted and fun I really am. Willpower has definitely played a confusing role for me because sometimes I come off as really strong and other times I wonder where it is. This experience is just really brought a lot of questions and confidence to myself.
What surprised me the most is meeting the majority of these 18 people, knowing how competitive, strong and great people and diverse they are, and knowing that I made it to the 5th final position. And that surprised me. Not putting myself down in any way, but knowing how strong my competition was the whole way.
I feel like Iím still learning what Iím going to take away from this whole experience. Itís still raw right now. I just walked off, so! I feel like Iím going to grow and learn a lot non-stop, just from looking back and knowing what I went through.
Iím taking away wonderful rewards of scenery that Iím never going to see again, and meeting these amazing people, and meeting people that I donít want to meet again (laughs). The whole package is just indescribable. Iím going to take away millions of things from this experience.
The Day After
DC Notes: I snicker inside every time she says "strip" or "expose"
Julie: My Survivor experience was intense, educational, self-searching, fun, competitive Ė is that enough? (Laughs) I mean, the list goes on and on. And I feel like I will be reaping benefits from this experience as days, months, years go by. I feel still entrenched in it and so involved that I know Iím going to be looking back on this for the rest of my life. Itís never going to be erased or replaced or forgotten.
Because itís such an intense period of time with physical, emotional, psychological challenges per say, it forces you to kind of strip yourself down and really test yourself and see what you do have to stand on.
And a huge issue for me was my sense of will. I feel like sometimes it wasnít where it needed to be or as strong as it shouldíve been. That got me down a lot. Towards the end, when I won the reward, itís such a great feeing to come out on top and the whole time you get chances to do that, over and over again. And when you keep being defeated, it really sinks you down into a hole.
But you have to keep persevering. And I did, at the end. I feel good coming out of it. So that was a big thing that Iíve self-searching, been contemplating and reflecting on a lot is my willpower, sense of staying power.
The whole separation of women was great in my eyes because of the parallel to the culture. It gave us kind of an empowering feeling to want to prove different, and how women are set down on a lower level.
We came out kicking, and we kicked the guysí asses in two challenges straight up. They were suffering without fire and we great. My allegiance to the women wasnít any more difficult if it was co-ed to me, but the cultural aspect of it was definitely much more appealing and it gave us strength, I would say.
But I didnít come in thinking I was - or having any definite plan. I think it depends on who you connect with, whether itís a man or a female or it doesnít really matter. Itís just the energy between people. I donít base it on gender.
Thereís definitely a strong spiritual sense to these islands and the culture. Throughout the game, threaded throughout the game I was exposed to certain people that had really strong ties. As an example, on the reward I went on before a couple days before I got voted out, Joe Ė I mean, he had talked to the spirits about having the vocano erupt and the skies clear and the weather be nice. I definitely felt some energy there and it was really intriguing to me. I wish I could have explored it more.
But in the beginning, the guys got awarded the ďspirit stoneĒ and we didnít really get a taste of the effects of what was connected to it. It would have been interesting to see if it was switched, or if it rained for them, or if all these horrible things had happened for them and the spirit stone. I would like to see if the women had had it, what would have happened to us Ė if there would have been anything different.
The thing about this game is it strips you down and you find out things and people tell you things that you donít focus on or you donít tend to reveal, but they show. But there is many things that Ė the majority of myself that I didnít put on the line or expose or make myself feel vulnerable to these people about for a strategic sense and just to Ė I mean, Iím just the type of person that it takes more than 39 days to get to know all of me. Itíd probably take a lifetime (laughs).
So 39 days is a really short time. And under the circumstances, where these people most - some develop into friendships, but theyíre also your competitors so itís kind of a mental battle to know what to expose and what not to, but naturally thereís a lot that I donít give out to somebody. So there was a lot I held back.
The hardest part was definitely leaving the game. There were nights where it was horrible and Iím the type of person where I like struggling. I like defeat just because I can see the adverse side of it. Or the positive side. I just know nothingís going to last forever. Itís not going to be horrible every night. Thereís always another day.
So those nights, as hellish as they are, are almost comedic to me. And thatís how I kind of deal with things like that. But there were many nights where it was rough. It was hard. It wore you down. Besides being stripped of your basic comforts and all that stuff, I mean, you can go without that. Thatís kind of the fun part. But leaving the game was definitely the hardest and the most heart-breaking aspect.
Best day for me hands down, most memorable was my reward that I won. The whole day, actually! Because I was down on myself for losing these challenges Ė I mean, not even coming in second or a close race or anything for me (laughs) I was so below average.
And then we had the challenge that was a compilation of the previous challenges. I shined for once and it felt so good and then I got this amazing reward Ė something Iíll never forget, never be able to see again. In those circumstances. Sleep in a hut with this volcano erupting all night Ė the most active itís been in a while. Clear skies. We have steam vents coming up. The sunrise in the morning was unbelievable. There wasnít a bad moment, a bad minute, a bad second of that reward or me that whole day. So that was definitely the best moment for me.
Rewards are everything. They separate you from the game but then bring the whole team closer together. When itís a team and then itís an individual and you have to bring somebody in, itís such a great aspect of this game. It relieves tension. It brings you closer to somebody on a personal level. You get to nourish your body, mind, and soul completely. I won a couple with the teams and the beer and pringles and going to the waterfall Ė that was critical because we had just joined with Lopevi. That was a great bonding moment.
There was harmony actually in the group, which doesnít happen often with everybody. And then also with Lopevi we won the steak and the eggs. When I saw the steak and the eggs I think I started to cry (laughs). Iím semi-emotional Iíve said, not so much about steak and eggs, but thatís how much it sinks into you and how rewarding it really is.
I donít know if my perspective has altered that much or will change that much. I think everything from this experience is progression, so my perspective will grow but not so much change. I guess growth is change though! (laughs) But not completely change Ė Iím not going to be a completely different person.
Iíve made so many great friends out of this. Maybe Ė Iím kind of looking forward to seeing how things will be different for me. I canít imagine being out of this context now that Iím in it. It was so strange in the beginning and now it feels like home, and itís not! (Laughs)
Iím at a very transitional stage of my life right now where I just graduated and I have to make a huge step, kind of plant myself somewhere and make a next move. And this has given me the kind of thrill and energy to do that. And Iím really excited to make my next move, and itís going to be big. Iím probably going to move across the country and go to school. I love school.
So a lot of those things havenít changed, but I have great energy and appreciation to get ready to do it. Iím not so nervous and hesitant as I might have been before, because I just conquered the jungle for 36 days. Coming back here, I realize my threshold for pain or excessiveness has changed a lot. Simplicity is great. Maybe that will definitely Ė my extravagance or every day extravagance will definitely go down a couple notches from this. I already feel it.
Description: Julie is skeptical about the new, tentative friendliness between Eliza and Twila. As usual, Eliza is ready to change her tune, and her vote, at a momentís notice.
DC Notes: This clip is confusing at first. Basically, Julie and Eliza found a papaya earlier and didn't want to share it, so they sneak away to eat it.
(Twila walks behind Julie and Eliza, who are in the shelter)
Julie (Whispering to Eliza): Sheís coming. Hurry up.
Eliza: (To Twila) Morning.
Julie: Iím so ...? I was going to
Julie (Confessional): Eliza and Twila have never gotten along until they became the Fearsome Foursome. Theyíve always clashed. Twilaís a magician when it comes to turning things on when she needs something. Eliza knows it, but sheís in a great position with it, so sheís playing along with it. But she would love to see Twila go.
Eliza: (Whispers to Julie): Sheís so
Julie: Thatís because sheís Ė because of her issue.
Eliza: Sheís holding a grudge.
Julie: Against herself, towards us. More so towards you.
Eliza: Mmm hmm. But you know what? Sheís going to be up there and I wonít give her one. Give me it now.
(Eliza holds up a papaya sheís cut in half)
Julie: Which one is the better half? Give it to me. Okay, thatís our half. Tell me when sheís coming.
Eliza (Confessional): Right now, Twila, Scout and Chris think I am 100% solid in this Final 4 alliance. But then again, Iíve been 100% solid in a couple of alliance where weíve done things against the grain. Iím not afraid to change things if I think that itís going to get me farther in this game.
(Julie and Eliza are by the beach, laughing and holding half a papaya each)
Julie: Papaya. I love it.
Eliza: Me too (snickers).
Julie: Sugar for survival purposes.
Eliza: Oh yeah.
Julie: The early bird does get the worm (snickers).
Eliza: Man, sheís not the best???
Julie: Tell me if it tastes rotten to you.
Eliza: I donít know. You think itís rotten?
Julie (Confessional): Me and Eliza tried to smuggle papaya and it ended up being rotten. It was kind of fun though. We felt like we were 7 years old, like sneaking something way from mom and dad or something. But then we cut it open, and it wasnít that ripe, and then it kind of tasted rotten, so I threw it out. No one got papaya. No one ate it. So mission failed
Description: This may not be what you think it is. Twila reckons the tribeís food supply and the amount of time it has to last. Will the bananas and manioc fill the bill?
Twila (Confessional): We usually cook breakfast and then supper there with manioc, and I think that a little back here weíll have plenty of food. We only have four days and Ė or five? Ė after today we haveĖ after tonight Ė we start tomorrow Ė weíll have four days and three nights left. If Iím calculating right, I think we have plenty of food. So thatís not going to be no problem.
Well actually Julie said she found another place where thereís manioc, and we want to check, and sheís Ė Scout said she knew where it was but she didnít know where it was. So. We came back here and thereís a few more patches up through this way that we can get. I think we got plenty. I think we got plenty to last the rest of the time. Thereís no problem there.
I think Julie and Ami both had been a little secretive about it, because they had found some halfway ripe bananas, and I donít think they wanted to give up the place where they was going, which is silly to me. But since I voted Ami out they really didnít want to show us where it was at (laughs). We got plenty of food. I ainít gonna worry about it.
Description: Eliza canít hold back the tears when she cuts herself, and Twila and Scout come to the rescue. Things get uglier later, when a huffy Eliza blames Scout for her misfortune.
(Eliza is holding manioc stalks)
Eliza: Scout, I really donít like these old ones. They look so gross.
Scout: Let me have those things. Let me go wash them. I like them. I like how they taste. You -
Eliza; This one still needs one more peel.
Scout (Confessional): I went out to get manioc with Eliza and she doesnít want to cut the manioc that we got yesterday because itís an older plant.
Eliza (Confessional): See, look at these. Theyíre disgusting. I donít want to put these ones in with the ones we just picked today, because these were picked 3 days ago and theyíre not good anymore. Scout says ďwaste not, want notĒ.
Eliza: OW OW OW OW OW.
Twila: Scout? Whatíd you do? What what what what? Oh my god girl, whatíd you do? Deep?
Twila; Uhhh! Well we canít have the whole bunch of us scraped up over there
Eliza: I didnít know! I felt left out. OW! (Beep) Because I was swinging. I had the manioc like that and I went like that (mimics chop and sobs).
Twila: Oh little one. Thatís a deep one, too.
Eliza: It really is. Oh!
Twila: Just hold it together for a minute and see if it will clot. Thatís a deep one.
Eliza: (Cries) Geez.
Twila: You okay?
Eliza: Yeah. Oh!
Twila: You sure? Hold on for a minute. Letís see if we can get it to quit bleeding.
Scout: (Comes over) Oh my god.
Eliza; No, I really Ė I really sliced myself.
Twila: Itís a deep one.
Eliza; I slammed Ė I went swinging.
Scout: I got one of those mat things we can cut and tear.
Twila: Yeah, it would work. You get a piece of that while Iím holding her hand here and clot it.
Eliza: Do you think I need stitches?
Twila: I think as long as you push it together -
Eliza: - Ow, it hurts though. It really hurts.
Twila: Hold on. Itís clotting now
Scout: (Wraps Elizaís hand with torn cloth) Thatís not too bad. No, I donít think youíll need a stitch.
Eliza: Ow! Careful careful careful. Thatís where it hurts.
Twila: Shoot, youíre going to be as good as new, little girl. You okay?
Eliza (To camera, but not confessional): I was sitting and chopping manioc, and I was holding it and I guess I missed and hit the machete right into my hand Ė well, into my thumb. And I sliced it open pretty deep. You know, I think I was also angry while I was chopping it and that probably did it, because I didnít want to put the yellow manioc in with the good white manioc and so Iím pissed off and that probably contributed to my carelessness.
Scout: (She overhears Eliza) Youíre blaming it on me! Jesus!
Eliza: Iím not blaming it on you! Iím just saying I didnít want to put the yellow one
Scout: Letís put some in a separate pot and cook it the way you want it, and Twila and I will cook some now to eat. What do you think of that?
Eliza: I was going to do that. I was going to keep it separate. But it looks like Ė
Scout: Well not all of it separate. Thatís too much for you. But we could put a little bit separate for you to cook your own if you want. What Iím trying to do because is both of you are gimps now, is cook a big pot of food. We can eat it now, we can eat it later, we can eat it in the morning.
Eliza: Yeah, just put it all in one pot -
Scout: - Iím trying to save myself a little bit of work, but if you want to Ė
Eliza: - Yourself? I just cut all the manioc! (She storms off)
Scout: If you want to do it your way, I suggest you put a pot that has it in it just the way you want it.
Eliza: (Still walking) Just do the whole pot. Scout, itís fine!
Scout: Iím happy to pull out some white stuff and you can eat your own pot
Eliza: (Cries as she walks away) No, no. I donít want to do my own pot! Itís fine!
Scout: Okay, well then. Great!
Twila: Sheís mad now.
Scout: Tried to blame her damn cut on me.
(Eliza sits by herself by the ocean)
Twila: Elizaís acting kind of childish right now, but I did one last night so I canít blame her for doing one today. Sheís not Ė what would you say? Tough! (Laughs) I guess thatís the only word I can come up with. Tough!
Yes, I Have No Bananas
Description: In a whispery private interview, Eliza complains about Twila. Twila has buried bananas, and Eliza wants them. She wants them bad.
Eliza (Confessional in the shelter): I am so sick of Twila! I just want her to go home, now! If she doesnít win immunity tomorrow, thatís it. Weíre voting her off. Thatís it.
I mean, sheís just so childish and immature and so yeah Ė I bicker with her because sheís just Ė god, sheís so patronizing! Sheís like, ďOh, You say it one more time and I wonít tell you where they are, ever,Ē about these buried bananas because sheís so obnoxious and annoying! And I hate the way she treats me. I hate Ė I mean, oh my god.
And me, Ami, and Julie were the ones who found them, cut them down, and carried them back. We went way down to find them! And now sheís got these ripe bananas and sheís like, ďAw, Iím not telling you where they are!Ē Sheís just so childish and then she says, ďOh, youíre acting like a child,Ē because Iím asking her because she took them and sheís hiding them! Oh! I canít stand her.
Itís not even that she wonít tell me where the bananas are. Itís the principle, and itís how sheís treating me. And I donít like being treated like a 2-year-old. Sheís not my mother and sheís got no control over me, and then that she took these bananas that we found and decided to hide them, wonít tell us where they are, is so ridiculous. Ugh!
Sheís obnoxious and condescending and she doesnít have very good interpersonal skills. Everyone else out here Ė you talk to Julie, you talk to Scout, you talk to Chris, me Ė we all have a million different friends at home. We all have great relationships with people. We all know how to act, we know how to trust. We know how to interact. And she says, ďOh, I donít have any friends at home. Iím not used to this. I just work all the time.Ē And it shows. Itís blatantly obvious. She has no friends at home. She know how to interactive people. I feel sorry for her. I really do. Because god help me if Iím ever like that. http://p085.ezboard.com/fsurvivorsucksfrm2.showMessage?topicID=18185.topic