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HaMerotz LaMillion (The Amazing Race Israel) Season 3: HaRecaps (The Recaps)

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Episode 30 of the last season was the end ;_;

I love HaMerotz LaMillion, but this is just tooo muuuch....

Jai Ho:
Episode 28: Lovely Weather For A Sleigh Ride Together

We learn that the teams have taken a train from Hoover Dam in Nevada to Flagstaff, Arizona.

Pit start. Ma’Ayan welcomes us to Arizona, where the clue leads them to the Snow Bowl. They are driving cars this leg, and with Batel in the driver’s seat, it’s uh-oh, Grand Canyon State. They remark that this is the first time that they have no one to follow. As David drives, Eliran notices some moose. The sisters wonder if they’ll see bear.

Snow Bowl. Ma’Ayan and Batel are the first to arrive on the Snow Bowl, which is actually quite snowy. Their task? Search and rescue a doll from the snowy mountain, and sled down the hill with them. The cousins take off with their sled just as Blue Collar arrives. Ma’Ayan declares it too cold to smile. But probably not too cold to sing! Sisters arrive, and immediately Romi shuts down in the cold. It appears as if Coral ties her sister to the sled, but only because there’s no tree to tie her to. We see a montage of teams racing up the hill. David/Eliran arrive first and get instructions which are said quickly and in English. Kudos to them for understanding…I think. They argue about which way to go but it’s probably not a big deal. Next to the top are the cousins. We check in with Romi/Michele, and…whoops, their little red sled goes back down the hill. Romi sulks off behind it.

Pit start. D/D and TaKo leaving. Talia is confident that she and Koby can propel themselves above D/D and the cousins. They start off by beating at least D/D to the mountain. The newlyweds head off up the hill, with asthmatic Koby needing to stop for some air. Elsewhere, Romi has decided to play nice with Coral for the time being and head off to look for the missing sled. Red-faced TaKo make it to the top and get their receivers. We see a montage of the three top teams searching, with Ma’Ayan  beginning to shovel, followed by Koby. David/Eliran get into it as well. The boys perform some mock CPR on their doll as the girls and newlyweds struggle to dig up their friends nearby. I know who I’d want rescuing me. The boys begin their slide, with David on a shovel and Eliran on the sled. A second sled pops up next to them. Maybe it’s Romi/Michele’s missing sled? Talia/Koby start their descent as the boys complete theirs with a swivel. They get a snow globe, which contains within it their next clue, Flagstaff Nordic Center. But first! U-turn board. That picture of Romi/Michele in the bikini tops looks awfully silly against that background.

Snow Bowl. David/Eliran correctly identify the clue, as do the cousins. Talia/Koby appear to not get it right away, but they along with Blue Collar show up at the U-turn board. To no one’s surprise, Blue Collar pick D/D, and Koby/Talia agree, hoping to increase their lead. Ma’Ayan and Batel do the same, and their fate is sealed. David/Eliran leave. Koby/Talia have no clue where they’re going, and apparently all three teams end up at the right spot, ready for a…

Double Battle. It’s time to dog sled! I can attest to the fun of this activity – I did it in Alaska once back in high school and it was amazing and made me want to become a professional dog musher, and I managed to convince many gullible classmates at my school that I had withdrawn my college applications and was moving to Alaska to pursue this dream of mine. It didn’t go much further than that, but those kids were pretty stupid. First up: David vs. Talia. Talia is in the lead, but falls, allowing David to pass her. Eliran looks like a pro at this, whereas Koby spins around in little circles. Blue Collar wins, and gets the detour clue. I’m calling it Pick Up or Pile Up. In the first option, the teams must carry some ladies, piggy back, while wearing snowshoes, and in the other, build a huge stack of wood.

Snow Bowl. The sisters retrieve their sled, but they’re barely up the hill when D/D are done with the task. They pick Blue Collar, and wonder if Koby/Talia stuck up for them this time.

Double Battle. We start off with Talia vs. Batel. Talia takes off like a bullet, and Batel, who is scared of the dogs, goes quite a bit slower. Talia takes another tumble around a tree. (The hell, Talia? Drunk again, I see.) Batel briefly catches up, but it’s the couple’s to lose, especially when Ma’Ayan has a complete wipeout, watching her dogs run elsewhere.

Detour. David/Eliran have chosen Pick Up, and put on snowshoes. The task is more difficult than the boys anticipated, with them stopping several times. Koby and Talia pick this side as well, but get like five steps before realizing that this is not a walk in the park and switch. Blue Collar appears to have somewhat better luck. They talk about the ladies’ weight, and it’s a good thing that they do so in Hebrew.

Snow Bowl. The sisters finally finish, and choose Blue Collar as their u-turn victim. Coral believes they have a chance as they head to the double battle.

Double Battle. D/D arrive. Cousins tell D/D that it hurts to fall off, scaring Debby. Dana starts off strong, but hits a snag at a sharp turn, allowing Batel to pass. They pass off to their partners. Both ladies seem to be going on strong, with Ma’Ayan leading, but then Debby goes flying, just like Ma’Ayan said, although it appears a log tripped her up and not a person. Purples for the win.

Pile Up. Circus music plays as Talia chucks wood and Koby stacks it. Their pile goes up rather quickly. Ma’Ayan/Batel appear, with Ma’Ayan humorously adding that the couple’s pile looks like a house already. They start piling when lo and behold, said couple runs out of wood. Koby tries a quick fix but their whole wall crumbles down.

Double Battle. Romi shows her first positive emotion of the day as she plays with the dogs while Debby reports of her fall. The dogs show signs of fatigue, with both Romi and Dana neck and neck at much slower speeds. Coral hits a tree this time, allowing Debby to cruise in for the win. Coral looks like a yeti as she rolls up, knowing she lost. At least they have dogs to play with.

Pick Up. Debby is, for some odd reason, excited about this task, and they choose their ladies. They take a few spills. I really hope these girls have workman’s comp. Over at Blue Collar, David is suffering. It starts to snow, and it turns out to be Eliran’s first snowfall, so he makes a snow angel. They get back up, and complete this ridiculous task. Their next clue? Wig Wam Valley, Arizona. Since there’s no W sound In normal Hebrew, Ron calls it “Vig Vam Valley” which is adorable. They will meet some Native Americans (NOT Indians, politically incorrect producers), but first, find out the results of the u-turn. It’s a double u-turn. David/Eliran are affected by neither, so they exit the episode.

Pile Up. After their time runs out and little purple girl gives them their clue, the sisters start to stack. TaKo seem to have less knowledge in the way of architecture, enduring several spills and calling their pile names. The purples lose a little bit. The sisters, however, lose it all.

Pick Up. Debby reevaluates her choice of task, but she and Dana power through it. A victory for them, but wait a minute…u-turn board. At least they did this one first, which seems like more of a pain to do. They know they’ve got a good chance of being u-turned, and they are. Usual suspects Blue Collar and Purples do not surprise them, but seeing Talia/Koby’s picture flips a switch, and they proceed to become cray cray. Debby gets bleeped out a lot, so it must be pretty bad.

Pile Up. D/D show up and all hell breaks loose. Not even a wall of wood can hide Talia/Koby from Debby’s wrath.  Indeed, their wall falls as Debby cackles with glee. Ma’Ayan tells her cousin to ignore the crazy lady in red, but Debby’s evil eye collapses the others’ towers. These two.  TaKo and Romi/Michele rebuild quickly and leave. The sisters hit the road, but Koby/Talia have been revenge-turned and must go back and carry. Either gravity, Batel’s paranoia, or Debby’s witchcraft collapses the cousins’ wall, but they mobilize, rebuild, and leave in third. In a quick montage, we see D/D completing their wall and TaKo completing their carry, with Koby taking a nasty fall along the way. Both teams drive off in anger.

Next time: Native Americans, Indians, American Indians…whoever they are, it’ll be interesting to see the culture shock. Stay tuned.
Tomorrow: Moment of truth. Will I finish in time for the finale? Stay tuned.

Jai Ho:
Episode 28: Bury My Hatchet at Wigwam Valley

Ron opens by telling us that the teams are going back to their Indian roots in Wigwam Valley. Chosen People, meet the Jews.

Cars. Blue Collar is in the lead. Romi/Michele are not, and Romi celebrates the upcoming task by doing the Tiger Lily “wa-wa-wa.” Good going, Racist Romi. Purples are on the trail as well.

Wigwam Valley. Arizona is home to 21 Indian tribes, yet this show will condense them into a general idea of “Indians.” This task requires teams to do an eagle dance and get new names. This is all so Brady Bunch three-parter. (Middle Buffalo? Sleeping Lizard?) David/Eliran arrive first, and props to Eliran for calling them Native Americans. Take that, Ron Shachar and your script writers. They encounter a dance circle and join in, marveling at the hoop dancers and their fancy footwork and colorful garb. They are given hoops and instructed in the fine art of hoop dancing. We don’t see that much of this before they are escorted to a chief, who is probably an actor. He speaks with a vague Jay Silverheels impression and gives the boys blankets, red face paint, and feathers. Eliran’s name is Ground Nut, oddly appropriate, and David will be Wind River. To make it official, they get a plank of wood with their faces and their new names painted in Hebrew, the official language of Vague Native America. At least they’re doing something cultural and not commercial.

Wigwam Valley. Ma’Ayan and Batel debate the authenticity of the Indians, with Batel dubious. Their patterned jacket fits right in, and the girls comment on how the ridiculous dancing makes them feel at home. I can imagine that. The sisters show up and enjoy dancing as eagles as well.

Cars. Talia and Koby share some gum. Why are they the only ones who are ever shown eating? Talia hopes the pit stop will come soon. D/D are also on the road and are surprisingly calmer and hopeful. Let’s see how long this rational equanimity lasts.

Wigwam Valley. David/Eliran open their clue, and their task will involve archery, spear throwing, and dancing. Eliran tries with bow and arrow. Apparently, “bow” and “rainbow” are the same words in Hebrew, which is cool. I learned something new today. He learns that this task is harder than it looks. Elsewhere, Ma’Ayan and Batel learn that their escort for the day is Janet. Coral asks what tribe their lady is from, and she says Navajo. Good on you, Coral, for actually showing cultural awareness. Racers are being all kinds of impressive today. Ma’Ayan teaches Janet her catchphrase. Enya plays as Ma’Ayan accepts her blanket with surprise. Coral gets painted and feels like Pocahontas. Ma’Ayan is now Raging Curls and Batel is Soul of the Cat. The cousins are less than impressed. Coral is Swan Feather and Romi, Moon Storm. The girls try to reason with the chief to slow up the remaining teams, and both teams head off to the games. I will not be using these names because they are even more confusing. Batel and Coral try their hand at archery, and we get a montage of general failure, followed by the dance of failure. Finally, Eliran connects and they go on to spear throwing.

Cars. Talia admires the scenery as they pull in to Wigwam Valley and start the eagle dance task. Talia reveals her love for Indian culture. They dance and get dressed for the tasks. Koby becomes Eye of the Owl, and Talia, Tiger Lily. She fails to connect it to Peter Pan. I’m surprised and disappointed in her. Also in the fact that she hasn’t changed her hair to braids. But there’s still time. Talia will be doing the bow and arrow, and for some reason, I’m scared that they gave her weapons. Koby instructs her, and it seems to work, as she scores on one of her first tries. Coral is the next to connect. Koby and Romi give their best shots at spear-throwing, but neither connects. Back at Blue Collar, David focuses and hits the target. Their next task? Sit in a sweat lodge for a powwow with a chief in their skivvies and some mud.

Sweat Lodge Task. Eliran/David enter the tent and begin their ceremony. The chief gives them a blessing in his language, and the boys exit and begin to roll in the cold mud. It starts to snow a little as they gingerly step into the cold water. If I were them, I’d just dive in and get it overwith. Eliran gets in, but David is scared.

Wigwam Valley. Debby and Dana arrive and begin the dance task, admitting to not knowing much about this subject. Debby manages to be surprised and confused and flirtatious at the same time before becoming the appropriately-monikered Red Beak. Her daughter is Dawn Blossom. I resist the urge to make a Red/Dawn joke, although that was a fun little movie. The purples are still scared with Evil Debby and her eyes. Batel makes a perfect connection and Ma’Ayan starts her spear throwing. Koby and Talia debate physics, no surprise there. They have to dance again, before failing several times and beginning to get frustrated at each other. Debby is shown with a bow and arrow – now that’s scary. Romi redeems herselfby hitting her target before Koby, but then does the wa-wa-wa thing. Boo you. Koby also scores a point.

Sweat Lodge. David hasn’t moved into the water yet, but Eliran goes for it and submerges, and even does it a second time, which convinces David to join him. They return to the tent and asked what they have learned. It’s actually a nice moment as the usually stoic boys show some emotion and head off to the next task, making fire and building a tipi to house them for the night. The boys are excited to make a fire – wait, they get matches? Laaaame. They start to build their home.

Sweat Lodge. The sisters enter and Coral finds it romantic. She also calls her sister a fighter, which is nice. Now, the true test for cold-hating Romi. She shivers and begins to waver as she nears the cold, and loses it and runs away in tears, as Coral begs her to come back.

Games. Ma’Ayan is struggling at the spear-throw, and Debby at the archery. Ma’Ayan connects and they leave, leaving mom and daughter dispirited.

Sweat Lodge. TaKo do the task, and Talia needs a sandwich, stat. Seriously, how does she stay upright with that tiny torso? Hand in hand, they walk among the torches to the ice water, both of them trying their best to stay sane in the water. In another part of the lake, Coral tries valiantly to console Romi. The couple squats in the water as the girls jump around. Back in the tent, the sisters make each other smile and get directed to the tipi task.

Tipis. David/Eliran’s tipi looks more like an alien dwelling, so they get help from some locals and before long they have a tipi worthy of How the West was Won. The sisters quickly make their fire, and get help from Eliran to build their tipi.

Sweat Lodge. Koby tells Talia that she has proven herself to be strong in many ways, and it’s really charming. They really love each other. Aww. They begin to build as the suddenly helpful David/Eliran come over to assist the couple before finishing their own tipi and climbing inside for the night.

Games. Debby is still at the archery, but the Horns of Victory sound, so of course she succeeds. Dana gets the spear on her second try, proving again that she’s awesome.

Sweat Lodge. The cousins roll around in the mud in their little dresses, Ma’ayan more enthusiastic than her partner. We don’t see Debby/Dana in the tent, but we see them in the mud and for some reason Debby didn’t get the whole “change your clothes” memo and she’s fully dressed as she rolls around. At the Lake of Icy Death, Ma’Ayan bravely submerges as Batel watches in awe. Both Debby and Dana are not pleased about the water, but surprisingly it’s Debby who shuffles into the water first, before Dana gets in and splashes around. Meanwhile, Ma’Ayan threatens to give Batel an ice hug. We don’t see Batel enter the water, but they’re both back in the lodge completing the task, so she must have done it. Nearby, D/D huddle by the fire. Dana admits that she’s hated her parents for a long time, and it’s touching seeing Debby tell Dana that she is a special girl, and Dana cries a little and tells Debby that she’s understanding her more. It’s nice to see them both embrace this task, and I think that they’ve probably changed the most out of all the teams.

Tipis. Batel admits her dislike of camping, and feminism suffers a blow when David/Eliran appear out of the darkness and basically do the whole task for them. At one point, Ma’Ayan is just watching in awe. Come on ladies. Exhausted, Dana sits by her fire while Debby starts to build, letting her daughter rest. Of course, Eliran comes over to add more fuel to the fire that is Debby and Dana Scorned. The ladies go all Mean Girls on the boys, but Eliran should know by now not to mess with Debby. Debby says that she and Dana are just fine without them, and indeed they build their tipi. The good hearted dock workers must have been feeling inspired, but, you know, yielding/u-turning D/D every chance they can basically killed their chances at starting a friendship with the mom and daughter. Make your bed and lie in it. Everyone heads off to bed. No preview.

Jai Ho:
Aaaand here we are, finale day!  :yess:

I've been working on the final few episodes, but am taking a break to watch the finale. It's Labor Day weekend here in America, so I will for sure finish it all and have it up by Monday at the latest. Thanks for reading thus far and good luck to the three teams in the final in Taiwan.

While waiting for the finale to be uploaded, here's the long awaited finale drinking game:

Take a small sip when:
1. There is a montage of racers failing at some task
2. Ron says something mechanical or Ron-like
3. A taxi driver is confused
4. Coral tells Romi she's being annoying
5. Romi tells Coral she's being annoying
6. Ma'Ayan hugs someone
7. We hear "chaim sheli"
8. Batel puts her face in the camera
9. Talia seems drunk
10. Koby does a muppet voice

Take a big drink when:
1. Ma'Ayan/Batel double-hug someone
2. There is a task involving dressing up in women's clothing
3. Koby mentions being the only guy in the finale
4. Talia is drunk
5. Talia gives a history lesson
6. Talia/Koby says "ocho cocho"
7. Romi acts like a know-it-all
8. Romi sings
9. Coral looks embarrassed/like she wants to fall into a black hole
10. Any team says "money time," "this is a race," or "please, please, go"

Finish your drink when:
1. Racers clap at the finish line
2. A team with a woman on it crosses the finish line first
3. A team with a woman on it crosses the finish line second or third
4. The winners are officially announced.

I know who I think the winners will be, but hopefully whoever wins will buy a new inhaler for Koby, a handle for Talia, throat lozenges for Ma'Ayan and Batel, something for Romi to read and a top for Coral that actually covers her stomach. Again, good luck to everyone and watch this space for a finale recap of the best season ever!!!  :<3

No :( Wish finale had a different result :(


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