FINALLY got wireless in the new apartment today and finished this one which I've been working on for awhile. I will be skipping 27 and 30, since I skimmed those episodes and they're pretty much clip shows, so only two left after this.
Oh, and happy birthday to racer David
Orientation is tomorrow, all day, but maybe I'll skip out early on an activity to get started on Ep. 28. Until then, enjoy this piece.
Episode 26:Washing Away the Competition
For the bazillionth time, we open in Nevada.
Cabs. In first are the cousins, who are hoping against hope to stay in first. Batel looks notably fresher, with straighter hair and a face full of makeup. Blue Collar and TaKo are in cabs as well.
Longevity Sports Center. Time for the first task of the day, scoring a touchdown against the Lingerie Football League. Of course the race would do this. Only on the Merotz. Side note: lingerie football? why is this even a thing? Batel thinks that the girls are pretty, and Ma’Ayan does not think so. Koby comments that one of the girls looks like his ex. TaKo are up first and do pretty badly. Ma’Ayan and Batel have no clue (as if we expected them to) how to play American football. Ma’Ayan instructs her cousin that the whole point is that the ball doesn’t touch the ground. That’s pretty much a basic tenet of the game, so I’ll get on board with that. Also, the cousins look cute in their skirts, like they’re grade-school field hockey players who got lost on the way home from practice at Our Lady of Many Sorrows. Blue Collar are similarly unimpressive.
Cabs. Romi’s singing “We Are Family.” Elsewhere, reality has set in for Itzik/Eliran, who realize that their race could be their last. In another cab, last-place Debby shares her personal philosophy of positivity. Debby and philosophy are not two things that normally go together.
Longevity Sports Center. All six teams are now there, and Romi and Michele are on the field. Romi becomes the first racer of the day to complete a pass, only to get man-handled (woman-handled?) by the other team and turned on her head. Owch. To no one’s surprise, Itzik and Eliran have no clue what is going on. The cousins cheer on the lingerie girls, and Itzik dives for a pass but misses. D/D are very intimidated and inquisitive about the ladies and their bodies. Debby ask for some fitness tips and is challenged to a push-up contest against a girl and it’s hilarious. Time for second chances, and Batel scores the first touchdown of the day, followed by David, who looks like he’s being invited to a Sadie Hawkins dance. Next clue: hitch a ride on a truck to Boulder City (finally, no more Vegas!) where they’ll compete in a strongman task involving a truck pull.
Trucks. Ma’Ayan and Batel are overjoyed at learning that their truck’s driver is Louis, and they clap. Ma’Ayan tells the driver that her father is also a trucker. Blue Collar climbs in a truck, and for the second time in the race, we hear Eliran call himself Luke, which is in fact his last name and not something he picked out of the sky. “Country Roads” comes on, which is a prerequisite to any open-road-driving sequence, anytime, anywhere. Also look out for “Life is a Highway,” “Highway to Hell,” and “On the Road Again” (which we heard a bit of). Bonus points for “Shut Up and Drive.” Ma’Ayan stretches out, and Batel cries for some reason. They also ask Louis to take them home “but lo hayom (not today),” this season’s “I speak but not maspik.” Just as Ma’Ayan drifts off, the prerecorded radio message starts to play and the girls are genuinely and pleasantly surprised to hear Batel’s uncle and Ma’Ayan’s aunt (who also happen to be Ma’Ayan’s father and Batel’s mother) talk to them.
Football. Romi misses again on her second try. Eliran also gets an incomplete. Koby scores for him and Talia, as does Dana for her and mom, keeping the top three in the same order they left and bumping up D/D from sixth to fourth. Outside, Talia dances in the street until the truck arrives. D/D also climb in a truck. Both teams know “Country Roads,” although Debby’s a bit wrong on the lyrics. We get a crotch shot of David and Eliran. Their announcement comes on, and Eliran shouts “Sylvie!” about a half-second after David’s mom starts talking. Eliran’s mom gives a shout-out as well.
Boulder City. Cousins de-truck and we learn that they must pull a several-ton truck across a line painted on the ground. The strongman gives them their clue, and is probably surprised to see Stretch and Skinny power walk across the lot. David/Eliran arrive and get briefed by a lady in pink. Unlike Ma’Ayan/Batel, the boys don’t seem too fazed, probably since they do a lot of physical labor involving pulling on a day-to-day basis working at the port. In fact, their opening sequence in the credits shows them doing just that, so they’ve probably got a good chance of passing the cousins here. Both teams start, and the combination of wind and difficulty of task almost blows them away into the air. Blue Collar’s truck starts to move, and Eliran tells us about how momentum works.
Football. We get a brief shot of Romi twerking followed by a montage of the four remaining racers doing pretty badly. Itzik barely scrapes by the end zone and scores. Romi’s touchdown shot shows her actually going into the end zone. Both teams get into yellow trucks.
Trucks. In the D/D truck, Debby gives us her surprised face as Dana’s husband’s voice comes over the radio. Dana promptly cries her big blue eyes out. We do not hear from Debby’s Canadian ex-husband, rather from her son Adam (who has a twin named Eve), whose voice is remarkably similar to Dana’s husband. A British lady comes on the air in the TaKo truck (hehe, taco truck) and it’s Koby’s mother, followed by Talia’s mother. We do not hear from Talia’s father, who must not have gotten the message in a bottle Talia tossed into the Caribbean Sea a few weeks earlier.
Boulder City. Blue Collar gets their truck rolling quickly, with the girls still struggling. However, we don’t see the girls at all in the shots of Eliran/David, nor hear their loud voices, so maybe they took a break or something? Ma’Ayan/Batel’s truck starts to move, with Ma’Ayan doing the majority of the pulling, followed by a plotz in the parking lot. The next task for the teams is to earn money through a bikini car wash. I wish I was kidding. Whatever happened to Nevada’s natural beauty? Cousins get into their religious-chick bikinis to the sound of Miley Cyrus. Ma’Ayan talking-heads “who’s gonna stop for the boys? Gay drivers?” You’d be surprised. Meanwhile, D/D and TaKo have arrived at the task. In an interview, Talia makes dinosaur sounds. The hell, Talia? Debby calls the strongman a “refrigerator.” Koby then makes dinosaur sounds as he actually pulls the truck and does it rather quickly, as Debby/Dana stay in the same spot.
Trucks. At first, Romi seems like she knows something, but then they both react in surprise when their mother comes through the stereo. She starts off by saying, “Hi girls, it’s your mother,” as if they may have forgotten their voice. Then again, my mom leaves me voicemails tell me that she’s my mother, so maybe it’s a way for moms to validate their life choices. Since they have the same mom, they only get one voice, unless they didn’t air the second message for them. Eliran and Itzik hear their own names, but can’t understand why (really?) until Itzik’s mother’s voice starts speaking over the radio, followed by Eliran’s father.
Car Wash. Purples get their first car as Ke$ha sings to them. Batel impresses me with her knowledge of car parts. All I know about cars is that I have one, and it gets me where I need to go, except for last week in Iowa when my front right tire disintegrated about halfway between Omaha and Des Moines, leading to a fun-filled two hours at a rest stop waiting for a tow. And then a few days later, when my brand-new tire decided on a repeat performance. Back at the car wash, the purples’ customer reveals himself to be a Hebrew speaker. Talia/Koby show up, and they and Blue Collar score their first cars of the day and the second for the girls, which is apparently enough to pay their driver for gas and their next clue, which leads them to their pit stop, the Hoover Dam, which meets my criteria for “appropriate and interesting pit stop.”
Boulder City. Falafel arrives. We see Debby/Dana clearly struggling in the background as the boys make quick work of the task, which makes me further doubt that the Purples/Blue Collar were pulling at the same time. The sisters arrive, and Dana takes the lead and finally gets the game in gear.
Car Wash. Itzik/Eliran show up and flag down a pickup to clean. Nearby, Dana and Debby arrive, with Dana prancing around in a bikini while Debby holds up the sign in her little black dress. Of course, Debby must flirt with the driver of the car, as if she isn’t already offering to perform a service for money on the side of the highway. Dana is not impressed. She also probably doesn’t want a new father. Debby is also probably soaking wet when she hugs the driver. Talia and Koby finish a vehicle.
Boulder City. Romi leads the way in moving the truck, doing a little hoppy dance as she pulls the truck. They are happy learning about the bikini task, as Coral either bought or brought with her an American flag bikini. AMERICA. They manage to steal a huge, decorated pickup and pretend they’re in American Pie. They ham it up, and it works out in their favor as their second car pulls up right behind them. They even have time to pose for pictures with their clients.
Hoover Dam. Purples arrive and admire the dam, but are even happier to arrive in first for the second leg in a row.
Car Wash. Talia and Debby flag down the same car, and a chase scene ensues. The driver is a guy, and is probably tickled at the women fighting over him, and chooses the mom and daughter over the couple. Eliran/David are shown washing a pickup with Texas plates, so I’m going to take that as a shout out to me. A small crowd of guys has gathered behind Dana, which her mom takes notice of. The sisters finish, followed by Debby/Dana who get a 12 dollar tip. Blue Collar finishes as well, and it’s a three-way race to the dam.
Hoover Dam. They show up in a caravan, with Blue Collar somehow in the lead, followed by sisters and D/D. All three teams jet to the dam, and David/Eliran arrive, officially in second place. Romi/Coral check in, moving them back up towards the front of the pack. D/D arrive in fourth, with Debby asking if she can bungee, and getting a no from the greeter.
Car Wash. The two remaining teams finish pretty close, with TaKo slightly ahead. They campaign with their driver in English to stay ahead of the guys, who are kind of just sitting their truck doing nothing. To add insult to injury, the boys get stopped by a red light, but then their driver points out that the other truck is going the wrong way. General confusing shots of teams on the run, but it’s Talia’s shoes and leggings that are seen first on the pit stop mat. It’s notably darker when Itzik/Eliran show up, and are eliminated. Eliran looks surprised, but Itzik smiles it off. Their loser lotto ticket contains 7000 shekels, and of course Falafel sings us out with a montage of their greatest hits, a great many of which involve them naked and Eliran falling over things. Roll on, you crazy beach bums.
Next time: Snow tasks! Huskies! Romi complains about the weather, while Debby looks like she actually has something to complain about.