Back, no one seems to be up. Brendon is talking about having to be the strong one. In the back of his mind he was afraid of Rachel not keeping her word to move to LA. He was deathly afraid, when these girls came along, and feed of that fear.. he felt insecure. Maybe he wasn't enough for her. As a guy he needed reinforcement. It was stupid, dumb mistake, worst in his life. But he's grateful as a result of it, being that close to losing her, I never want to lose her again. He was bawling his eyes out. First time in his life he couldn't pretend to be cool. That wasn't what he felt. He wanted to be with her. She came back and gave him a 2nd chance. He will never not trust her.