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Offline puddin

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"Joe Schmo 2"
« on: May 18, 2004, 09:33:17 AM »
 Press Release for Joe Schmo 2 -  5/17/04  :;>)

The Schmo Must Go On......

SPIKE TV'S HIT SERIES "JOE SCHMO" RETURNS WITH

ALL NEW "FAUX" REALITY FUN

SPOOFING POPULAR RELATIONSHIP SHOWS

New Season Features Daring Twist of a Joe and Jane Schmo

" Joe Schmo 2" Premieres on Spike TV Tuesday, June 15 10:00 PM, ET/PT

DVD Release "The Joe Schmo Show: Season One Uncensored" Hits Retail Stores June 22

New York, NY, May 17, 2004 --- Spike TV's hit series returns in hilarious form with "Joe Schmo 2," premiering Tuesday, June 15 (10:00-11:00 PM, ET/PT). Season one introduced American audiences to the next wave of reality programming, the "faux-reality" series where only one contestant was real. "Joe Schmo 2" not only features a "Joe Schmo," but in a daring twist, a "Jane Schmo" as well. Aside from "Joe" and "Jane," everyone else on the show, from the host to the other 'players,' are actors following a pre-determined storyline.

How will our two reality 'contestants' react to encountering a show filled with every outlandish element of reality TV? With so many reality shows out there, there is a wealth of stereotypes to choose from. How far can producers push this 'reality' a second time, and now with more than one "Schmo?" It's twice the fun, but twice the trouble. Will the actors be convincing enough? We saw from the first season that under pressure the actors sometimes fail to remember their fictitious life histories. Will our unsuspecting "contestants" figure it all out, and if they do, how will they react?

Tim Walsh is this season's "Joe Schmo." A resident of Washington, DC, Tim is true to his Irish roots - a bartender with entrepreneurial aspirations to open his own bar. He's athletic, witty, outgoing and an overall genuine guy. Ingrid Wiese is our first ever "Jane Schmo." Also a resident of our nation's capitol, Ingrid is the classic girl-next-door meets woman-of-the-world. She's intelligent - with a dream of becoming the next Madeline Albright someday - strong-willed, and thankfully, up for anything.

Tim and Ingrid believe they are participating in a new series entitled "Last Chance for Love" and vying with other contestants for $100,000. "Last Chance for Love" parodies elements from many of the romance/relationship shows currently found on television ("The Bachelor/Bachelorette," "Average Joe," "For Love or Money," "Meet My Folks"), including over-the-top eviction ceremonies, cutthroat competitions, and many shocking twists.

Our two "Schmos" are again surrounded by stereotypical reality show contestants - "The Bachelor & Bachelorette," "The Playah," "The Drunk," "The Gotta-Be-Gay Guy," "The Heir," "The Moron," "The nag," "The Weeper," and "The Stalker." Ralph Garman, who portrayed the smarmy host of the original "Joe Schmo," returns this season in disguise as Derek Newcastle, a pompous but randy British reality show host.

Like many reality shows on television, "Last Chance for Love" features over-the-top competitions for cheesy rewards - either "one-on-one time with the bachelor/bachelorette" eating strawberries out by the pool, a "hot tub date" under the stars, or a "romantic dinner date" away from the other competitive suitors. No reality show would be complete without shocking revelations, and on "Last Chance for Love," these come in the form of "Falcon Twists," where a falcon flies in to reveal surprise twists, culminating with the host saying "The Falcon has spoken." Some of the competitions include:

Strike A Pose - An endurance game where players must stay in challenging, seductive, and uncomfortable positions for as long as possible. Downward-facing-dog never burned so bad.

Professions Of Love - Contestants profess their love to "Mr. & Ms. Right" by showcasing a special talent, performed beneath a Romeo-and-Juliet-style balcony.

Bound By Love -Contestants are chained together to learn a number of dances to impress the bachelor and bachelorette.

As with most reality shows, there must be elimination ceremonies. "Last Chance for Love" takes these to a whole new level of cheesiness. Our host begins the proceedings with "Love...it's why we're all here..." Then the Bachelor or Bachelorette send away one of their romantic suitors, either via a "Pearl Necklace" ceremony for the women or a "Flame of Love" ceremony for the men. How will Tim and Ingrid act and react in this entire absurd scenario? Viewers will have tune in to a new season of faux fun with "Joe Schmo 2" this summer to find out.

In addition to it's weekly premiere on Tuesdays at 10:00 PM, ET/PT, "Joe Schmo 2" episodes encore on Fridays (1:00-2:00 AM, ET/PT); Sundays (9:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT)); Mondays (11:05 PM - Midnight, ET/PT) immediately following WWE live RAW telecast and Tuesdays (9:00 -10:00 PM, ET/PT).

On Tuesday, June 22, Paramount Home Entertainment releases "The Joe Schmo Show: Season One Uncensored!," a 3-disc DVD box set with all 8 original broadcast episodes from the first season, including over 7 hours of entertainment, with special features that even Spike TV couldn't show. The DVD box set contains uncensored special features including audio commentary on the shocking season finale, by a series executive producer Rhett Reese and Matt Kennedy Gould ("Joe Schmo"); five deleted scenes; extended cast interviews; an extended and unblurred "Chocolate Sauce on Models" and "The Making of the Meal" - The Gross Food Stunt competitions.

"Joe Schmo 2" was created by Paul Wernick and Rhett Reese, who also serve as writers and executive producers with David G. Stanley, Scott A. Stone and Anthony Ross. The series is exclusively produced for Spike TV by Stone Stanley Entertainment in association with Reese Wernick Productions. Peilin Chou, Spike TV's Vice President of Original Series serves as the Executive in Charge of Production.

Spike TV, the first network for men, is available in 87 million homes and is a division of MTV Networks. MTV Networks owns and operates the cable television programming services MTV: Music Television, MTV2, Nickelodeon/Nick at Nite, TV Land, VH1, CMT: Country Music Television, and Spike TV, as well as The Digital Suite from MTV Networks, a package of thirteen digital services, all of which are trademarks of MTV Networks. MTV Networks also operates and offers joint ventures, licensing agreements and syndication deals whereby its programming can be seen worldwide

 http://www.realitytvlinks.com/articles/pr051704.html

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« Last Edit: May 18, 2004, 09:40:05 AM by puddin »


Offline Texan

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Re: "Joe Schmo 2"
« Reply #1 on: May 24, 2004, 01:32:08 PM »
Who is going to watch this?  The first one was funny, but not sure about this one.

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Re: "Joe Schmo 2"
« Reply #2 on: May 24, 2004, 03:45:57 PM »
I probably will....lol I Really liked the first one.

Offline puddin

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Re: "Joe Schmo 2"
« Reply #3 on: June 05, 2004, 11:20:14 PM »
Website~

http://www.spiketv.com/shows/series/joeschmo/

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Re: "Joe Schmo 2"
« Reply #4 on: June 09, 2004, 04:38:45 PM »
more information on the show click the link at the bottom of the page!!  starts on Tuesday!!!


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Re: "Joe Schmo 2"
« Reply #5 on: June 09, 2004, 07:50:11 PM »
There's also a sweepstake ..you could tickets to a sporting event ..check it out ;D

10 Things Contest
 
The adrenaline rush of a last second bomb... driving at speeds of over 140 miles per hour... being chased by bulls down the streets of Spain... Spike TV presents 10 Things Every Guy Should Experience -- a new show that gives you and a buddy the chance to experience one of the ten biggest sporting events of the year. Think you have what it takes to compete for tickets to Super Bowl XXVIII, the NBA finals or the Indy 500? Grab a buddy and you're halfway there. Take a minute to read the rules and regulations, then... ENTER

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Re: "Joe Schmo 2"
« Reply #6 on: June 10, 2004, 07:05:45 PM »
Reality TV's a gold mime

'Schmo 2' copies and dupes
 
 
Ralph Garman makes no bones about it: As Derek Newcastle, host of "Joe Schmo 2," he's mimicking and parodying guys like "Survivor's" Jeff Probst and the hosts of other reality shows.
That should come as no surprise, since "Joe Schmo," to start with, is the ultimate reality show parody.

"In the first 'Joe Schmo' [the inspiration] was definitely Jeff Probst," Garman told the Daily News. "It was definitely those eviction ceremonies, the counting of the votes, the way he pauses and drags it out. It's just great theater."

This time, Garman has jumped into the Newcastle character, which has required a blond dye job, false teeth and a British accent.

"There seems to be a glut of shows with British hosts," he said, noting programs like "The Swan."

"We thought that would be funny."

The first "Joe Schmo" took a regular guy and, without his knowledge, put him on a fake reality show, where he was the only real player and the rest were actors.

In "Joe Schmo 2," which starts airing Tuesday at 10 p.m. on Spike TV, there are two real players - a man and a woman - with the rest being actors working with a predetermined storyline.

"It's the same basic setup," said Garman, a Los Angeles radio host. "The shows we're parroting are very different. This time it's much more the 'Bachelor,' 'The Bachelorette.'"

But in this show, the concept of game changed throughout the run, so at times it seemed like a dating show, and others more like "Temptation Island."

"All of these shows have new twists, the most shocking twist," Garman said. "The game is constantly shifting from one game to the next, so you don't know what it is. Initially it looks like 'The Bachelor' or 'The Bachelorette,' then, 'Are they playing for money or is this about true love or not?'"

The appeal of "Joe Schmo" is that the viewers are in on the joke and the real players are not.

Likewise, there's also the built-in drama of watching the producers react when the real players seem to catch on to the joke.

While it may seem that the concept is built on humiliating the real people, Garman said it's just the opposite.

"Joe Schmo" is "well-intentioned and fun," Garman said, while shows such as "The WB's Superstar USA" or Fox's "The Swan" are hitting people in sensitive areas.

"We go to these people, we say, 'We're going to put you on a reality show,' and it is," Garman said. "And at the reveal, at the end, we hope they're going to have a good show, and you come out of the ride feeling strong."

http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/story/201047p-173513c.html

 

Offline puddin

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Re: "Joe Schmo 2"
« Reply #7 on: June 16, 2004, 10:06:29 AM »
Recap For anyone that missed Schmo~  :)


Joe Schmo 2: Episode Summaries
Next Show Time: Sunday June 20, 8:00 PM (ET/PT) 

Episode 1

If you're reading this now, you're either a huge fan of 'Joe Schmo' or you missed episode one of 'Joe Schmo 2.' If it's the latter…how could you?! You guys wanted Schmo 2, so we give you Schmo 2 and you go and miss the first episode?! I demand satisfaction! (Or at least your faithful viewing of the remaining episodes…and your purchase of the season one DVD where you can catch yours truly buck naked atop the back of Matt Kennedy Gould.)

As for episode one…this year we decided that the world needed just a little more love. Picture this: the bachelor and the bachelorette under one roof. Five women pursuing a comically hunky bachelor named Austin. Five men pursuing a ridiculously lovely bachelorette named Piper. Among these five suitors are one Joe Schmo…and one Jane Schmo. That's right…two Schmos. We got cocky. And without giving anything away, let me ask the guys one question: Ever tried pulling one over on a woman? Not as easy as it looks.

Okay, so did you get the premise? The girls are vying for the bachelor. The guys are vying for the bachelorette and each week, in a tearful ceremony (mostly from us laughing), someone gets sent home. As usual the characters were taken right out of reality…shows that is. For the guys: Bryce: the stalker. T.J.: the playa. Ernie: the heir. Gerald: the gotta be gay guy. And Tim: Joe Schmo. For the ladies: Ambrosia: the bitch. Eleanor: the weeper. Rita: the drunk. Cammy: the moron. And Ingrid: Jane Schmo. Welcome, my friends, to 'Joe Schmo 2'…or as far as Joe and Jane were concerned: 'Last Chance For Love.'

Episode one opens with your typical arrivals. First a nervous Tim and Ingrid followed by the rest of the cast. One by one they line up in front of the palatial estate eagerly awaiting the arrival of their bachelor and bachelorette.

If you saw the show you noticed that, along with the cast, we had six 'extras' show up as well: Three guys and three girls. You see, we thought it would be funny if, before they got into the house, we had an eviction ceremony where only minorities got evicted. If you've seen any dating shows you're likely laughing right now…and possibly saying that's f*%ked up! Hey, we're just poking fun at what's out there. And the fact is, minorities have not fared well on televised dating shows in the twentieth century.

However, before we can get to our little stunt, Ingrid, who despite being told to shut up six-thousand times in eleven minutes, continues to ask everyone how they got on the show. Unfortunately one of those extras answered, and I quote: 'through my agent. I just got the call yesterday.' Oops. We're not even in the house and Ingrid, who's already suspicious, now has a real reason to be suspicious, like she's standing next to an admitted actress. Ouch.

The other actors did a great job of diverting Ingrid's attention, but the seed was planted. And it's a seed what took root. Stay tuned for more on this growing drama.

Meanwhile, it's time for the momentous arrival of our host, Derek Newcastle. Picture Ralph Garman, our smarmy host from last season, with blonde hair, blonde goatee, fake teeth that resemble dangling Chicklets, corrective lenses, and an accent that would have made Charles Dickens proud. He's our stuffy English host, Derek Newcastle…(from Philadelphia, PA.)

Derek arrives aboard the sidecar of a World War Two era motorcycle. In a word: jaunty. He then introduces the bachelor and bachelorette, Austin and Piper respectively, who arrive aboard Cleopatra-style carriages carried by four scantily clad Adonis'…for the ladies. Once they're introduced, they proceed with the most shocking eviction ceremony yet! It also happens to be the first eviction ceremony. You know, the one I mentioned above where Austin and Piper remove three minorities each. That's why we had the extras, so we could send them straight home like the other dating shows do. Well our little joke bit us right on the ass!

See what you missed?! And we're just now at the first commercial break. It was a lot to explain in the first act, but we're gonna move a bit quicker now lest I chew up the entire internet with this synopsis.

As any dating show worth it's salt would we started off ours with a mixer, supposedly in a luau theme. If by luau you mean a bar with some straw around it and drinks sporting little umbrellas. No hula dancers. No pigs with apples in their mouths. No poi, but a luau mixer nonetheless.

At the 'luau' mixer, Rita got drunk, Ernie the heir corrected Derek's Shakespeare quote setting up some future hard feelings between the two of them, Rita got drunk, the guys and girls got some alone time with Austin and Piper where Gerald acted really gay and Bryce acted really creepy both to Tim's dismay, and Rita got drunk. Did I mention Rita was falling down drunk? Even Tim, who had a few (dozen) drinks himself, noticed that Rita's equilibrium was about as stable as Aileen Wuornos. (Google if necessary).

The mixer wound down with the cast giving Austin and Piper some gifts from the heart. Tim, Ingrid, and the rest of the gang were told to bring a heartfelt gift for Austin and Piper. Tim gave Piper a picture of his nieces and nephews. What is it, by the way, with Joe Schmos bringing mementos related to their siblings' children? Remember last season, Matt brought a football his nephew had urinated on. Coincidence? You be the judge.

Ingrid gave Austin a signed book by Madeleine Albright…pretty sexy. Some other highlights include: freak-show Bryce giving Piper his pet frog Everett. (Keep your eye on Everett as he becomes a central player in our house of love and deceit.) And Ernie, who revealed during the mixer that he was the heir to the Ernest and Julio Gallo wine fortune, adopted an orphan child for each person in the cast.

The gifts of the heart ended with Piper giving each of the guys a lock of her hair and Austin giving the girls a heart-shaped locket. One half of the locket contained a picture of him, the other half was empty, thus earning the name: half-hearted locket. We thought it was funny.

No episode would be complete without the obligatory game leading to some trumped up prize package. The first game of Joe Schmo 2 was the token Joe-Schmo-first-episode- let's-get-the- cast-dancing-naked, portion of the show. You guessed it. We dressed the cast members up in costumes resembling minor league baseball team mascots, had them strip down to their bikinis and/or swimming trunks, and do a lap dance atop Austin and Piper. The highlights include: Rita falling down drunk, Ingrid having a jaw-dropping body (just ask Tim), and Rita falling down drunk.

The result of this little shindig was Ernie and Ingrid winning a private Jacuzzi date with Austin and Piper. Now, here's the part where I tell you some behind the scenes stuff. As you watch one of the 62 reruns of episode one Spike will doubtless be showing this week, see if you notice anyone in that Jacuzzi shivering. The house had not one, but two Jacuzzis…two Jacuzzis with faulty heaters. We had to use a garden hose to pump lukewarm water into what amounted to be a virtual ice bath for our 'winners.' It was a veritable human-Gazpacho of fun. It wasn't actually freezing, but it wasn't actually warm. Two cold women in water…all right guys you had your fun, now stop staring!

During this Jacuzzi date, the guys were up in Gerald's room, affectionately named 'club Gerald,' talking about what else…how to score with women. T.J., the playa, waxed philosophical on the subject with a hilarious set of tips he likes to call: 'T.J.'s f*%k tips.' Meanwhile, resident psychopath Bryce was on the balcony spying on Piper in the frigid 'love-tub' with Ernie. This drove Tim nuts, inspiring him to christen Bryce with the nickname, 'Cruiser.'

If there's one element of reality shows that begs to be ridiculed it's all the twists. You can scarcely get through an episode of one of these things without the rules being changed with some overly dramatic revelation about the game. Well, our twists were announced with the arrival of a falcon. Derek Newcastle, donning a falconer's glove, gathers the cast in the backyard for some big news. As he raises his arm, in swoops a giant hawk…uh, I mean falcon, appropriately named Montecore, for the first Falcon Twist of the show. If you don't get the Montecore reference, please allow me to once again direct you to Google. You'll figure it out and when you do, you'll see there's some shading of things to come in that there name.

Derek, reading from a piece of parchment he's acquired from the falcon's talon, announces two twists: number one, a woman will be going home that night and number two, at the end of their journey in the house, if Austin and Piper choose to pursue a relationship with one of the suitors, that suitor wins one hundred thousand dollars. That's over one-third of a quarter of a million dollars! Austin and Piper don't know money is in it for the suitors. A dastardly twist indeed!

Finally, we reach the end of the episode where a woman is to be sent home. Now, last year we had a 'you're-dead-to-us, plate-smashing, side-splitting-eviction-ceremony 'that is admittedly hard to top. Yet, believe or not, I think we did. Ladies and Gentleman I welcome you to the first Pearl-Necklace eviction ceremony. That's right, the women of the Last Chance for Love house aren't hoping to receive a rose. No, they are hoping, praying, and practically begging for Austin to give them a pearl necklace. If you think that's funny, you should see how hard Tim was laughing every time Derek repeated pearl necklace in his lofty British accent.

Austin could only manage to deliver four pearl necklaces, but there were five women. Unfortunately, our inebriated friend Rita didn't make the cut and was sent home on the Last Chance for Love trail of tears.

During the ceremony each of the women was given a chance to deliver a final plea to Austin as to why he should give them a pearl necklace. And the speeches were delivered brilliantly…too brilliantly. In fact, suspicious Ingrid thought the girls' speeches sounded rehearsed…maybe because they were. You see, we didn't mention to Ingrid that the women would be given the opportunity to make a final plea to Austin at the ceremony.

So, when the other girls had a speech ready to go, but Ingrid didn't…she smelled a rat…again.

Ingrid was kind enough to share her suspicions with everyone, including Tim. She even went so far as to mention 'The Truman Show.' Cut to:the production staff in the control room, collectively shi**ing bricks.

See ya' next week.

Your buddy,

brian keith etheridge 


Offline Texan

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Re: "Joe Schmo 2"
« Reply #8 on: June 16, 2004, 11:04:59 AM »
Did any of you watch this?  I missed it due to season finally of the sheild.

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Re: "Joe Schmo 2"
« Reply #9 on: June 16, 2004, 12:10:26 PM »
Hey Texan you could catch it again @
 Next Show Time: Sunday June 20, 8:00 PM (ET/PT) 
(We watched it twice..it was funny)


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Re: "Joe Schmo 2"
« Reply #10 on: June 16, 2004, 04:45:42 PM »
Thanks...I knew they would replay it.

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Re: "Joe Schmo 2"
« Reply #11 on: June 23, 2004, 08:39:16 AM »
OMH I saw this last night! even part of the first episode.  So funny.  The jane schmo is going to figure it out. 

Not sure which is funnier....can I give you a pearl neckalace or dip you wick in love.


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Re: "Joe Schmo 2"
« Reply #12 on: June 23, 2004, 11:27:44 AM »
I missed the last 15 minutes Texan..we had storms and the cable got knocked out.. :(
I'll have to catch the reairing..the pearl necklace thing is just too funny  :D
Episode 2

Thanks for dropping by. As you may or may not have seen, episode two starts off right where Episode one left off...with the production staff sh*%ting bricks over Ingrid's suspicions. For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, go read the synopsis from episode one. I'll wait. Okay, are you back? Good.

So episode two opens with the production staff and network executives debating over what to do about hurricane Ingrid, a category 5 hurricane that is threatening to decimate our peaceful domicile. For those of you who don't spend your Saturday nights watching the Weather Channel and subsequently aren't familiar with hurricane classifications, a category 5 has winds in excess of 155 mph, storm surges over 18 feet, and according to the National Hurricane Center...is considered to be catastrophic. Now you may be asking yourself: 'why is Brian going to such great lengths to compare Ingrid to a hurricane?' My answer...because if you missed episode two then you didn't have the good fortune of seeing our little Joe Schmo world being ripped apart like a Soprano family snitch by the sh*t storm of suspicion brought on Ms. Ingrid...if you're nasty.

All right, you get the picture there's a lot of debate over what to do about Ingrid. Do we leave her in? Or pull her out? In? Out? In? Out? Who says we're not the network for men?! Ultimately we decide to leave her in, but warn the actors to keep Tim away from her suspicious ramblings and when all else fails...deny, deny, deny. Deny ain't just a river in Egypt. Or something like that.

During lunch, Ambrosia (our resident Omarosa), following the orders of the production staff, decides to get her 'bitch-on.' She basically calls out Ingrid in front of the whole group for her constant talking. Ingrid, no slouch in her own right, decides it's time for her and Ambrosia to have a little one-on-one time, (cue classic Hall & Oates mega-hit 'One on One'). During their little pow-wow, Ambrosia brings the hammer down on Ingrid's questioning of everything...I thought I'd never have occasion to say the following phrase, but I do and I will...Ambrosia, you go girl. And Ingrid handles the criticism like a champion. In fact, she claimed she was going to let her suspicions go. Uh...yeah...we'll see how that works out.

Meanwhile, Tim, off with the others, made a small insignificant comment, that I feel compelled to shine a light on. He said Ambrosia really 'lit the wick.' That may seem innocuous now, but when you see the men's eviction ceremony it will seem eerily prophetic. If you saw the show you know what I mean, if not you'll see what I mean later. Just remember Tim said that...'lit the wick.'

Later, T.J. catches Tim alone and explains to him that on the previous night, Bryce had tried to hypnotize him. That's right. We've got a creepy-stalker character on the show who's not only already in love with Piper, and handing out live frogs for gifts, but he's also now trying to use hypnosis he learned from a local junior college on his fellow housemates. And guess what...our friend Bryce hasn't even begun to get creepy. I have to say that writing for this character was very fun.

So T.J. talks Tim into playing a little trick on Bryce. They get Bryce to hypnotize the two of them and agree that whatever he tells them to do under hypnosis, they're going to do. This way, Bryce thinks his hypnosis works. Well, while Bryce has them 'under his spell,' he tells Tim and T.J. that whenever he says the words 'dog paddle' they're going to itch all over and need to scratch themselves. Those words again...'dog paddle.' Now Tim believes that Bryce believes that he has hypnotized Tim and T.J. It's absolute insanity.

This little rouse comes to fruition at dinner. Every time Bryce says 'dog paddle' Tim and T.J. start scratching like a couple of sailors after a weekend furlough in Bangkok. And of course they've told everyone else in the house about their prank on Bryce. Even Ingrid is in on the joke. Bryce on the other hand, thinks he's the next Kreskin, grinning ear to ear, convinced he's hypnotized Tim and T.J. But when he finds out the guys were playing a joke...the grinning stops...and the sulking begins. The event sends Bryce into full 'creep-mode.'

Next, it's another falcon twist! Montecore, as he is wont to do, delivers a message one-part pleasure and one-part bleak. The bad news is: there will be an eviction ceremony in the evening where a man is going home. The good news is: it's game time! You know what that means: scantily clad, lubed up contestants in sexually provocative poses on yoga mats by the pool.

Before we can get to the game, there's a little Montecore tribute. Here it is in a nutshell: Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! That's the sound of Montecore's beak slamming into plate glass doors. Apparently, to a falcon, glass looks an awful lot like air. We suspect Montecore is either suicidal or stupid as f*%k. Either way...we're laughing. This helps establish the fact that Derek and Montecore don't like working with one another. Did I mention that Derek Newcastle is a f-ing genius?

During the group lunch, the housemates take part in some scholarly discourse on t*ts... namely Ingrid and Cammy's t*ts, all four of which are impressively ample, to say the least. Tim is kind enough to name Cammy's t*ts 'Baskin and Robbins.' (I'll take mine with some chocolate syrup and rainbow sprinkles...no cup...no cone. Thank you.)

Now, it's game time! The long and short of it is everyone, under the watchful eyes of Austin and Piper, must strike a freaky yoga pose by the pool. The person who holds their pose the longest wins a fabulous vacation package. The players are allowed to distract one another once they're out. Tim was distracted into the pool by 'Baskin and Robbins.' Apparently he's lactose intolerant. Ambrosia and Ingrid are the final two...Ingrid, after getting tea-bagged by T.J., drops out...so Ambrosia wins.

Being as this is supposed to be a dating show...we thought we'd go ahead and have ourselves a date. You know how on the 'Bachelor' they send their couples to exotic islands, lush romantic hideaways, and cozy mountainside resorts in hopes of sparking a love connection? Well, on 'Last Chance For Love' we went to the far reaches of the backyard.

Before you judge, let me tell you this is no ordinary backyard. It's a vineyard. That is if by vineyard you mean a pile of unattended topsoil covered in dry, dead, thorny brambles. It's a veritable barren wasteland. Perhaps there is sometime during the year this pathetic patch of scrub brush bears grapes...but it ain't during Joe Schmo season. Seriously this vineyard looks like a post-apocalyptic -Uncle-Remus-style brier patch, sans the furry rabbit. Remember that Christmas tree from 'A Charlie Brown Christmas?' Imagine a plot of dirt covered in those. You get the picture.

On this 'date,' Derek Newcastle waxes philosophical about wineries, wine-making, wine-tasting etc... The only problem is that Derek doesn't know sh*t about wine. But our friend Ernie the heir is there to correct him every step of the way. By the end of the date, Derek is ready to pummel know-it-all Ernie. Tim and Ingrid fall hook, line, and sinker into this little squabble. Ingrid even goes so far as to signal Ernie to shut up. Hmmm...Pot to Kettle: 'you sure are black.'

During the wine tasting portion of the date, Austin decides to go ahead and give Cammy, aka Baskin and Robbins, some special attention. If by special attention you mean public molestation. And as you might imagine, weepy Eleanor eventually starts crying...and Ingrid starts consoling...and judging. Ultimately, Austin does the right thing and apologizes to Eleanor...and then goes right back to mauling Cammy. Ingrid goes right back to judging Austin.

The date ends with some grape crushing, where the normally body-shy Ernie has a personal breakthrough that empowers him to go shirtless in the barrels. This scene in a word: boobs. Just imagine...Ingrid, Baskin, Robbins, and a shirtless Ernie each bouncing up and down in barrels...a little slice of heaven. Gotta be gay Gerald, who spent the earlier part of the date rubbing Austin's shoulders and pectorals, can't crush grapes until he puts on his aqua-socks. Seems, our friend Gerald is a fella what hates germs. Don't forget that little point...it's significant...eventually.

While everyone else was partnered with someone in the grape barrels, Bryce ended up alone in the barrel next to Tim and Piper. Bryce took this opportunity to sulk his way into a deep, dark depression only to be lifted up to the highest of highs every time Piper so much as looked in his direction. It was a ballet of bi-polarity the likes of which the world hasn't seen since Sylvia Plath. (Google if needs be).

Finally, we reach the 'flame of love' eviction ceremony where one of the men is going home. The drama builds as the suitors wait for Derek's entrance...and wait...and wait...and wait. Seriously he takes forever to come in. Now, the guys for their ceremony have these gigantic candles...I mean huge...like the size of a really, really fat Siamese cat or a really, really undersized Shetland pony. Each of the guys holds his candle at crotch level with the wick protruding proudly towards the firmament...except for T.J. who holds his as if he were taking a piss with it.

If Piper lights their wick, they stay. If their wick remains untouched...they go home. Remember back when I said to remember that Tim said Ambrosia really 'lit the wick?' That phrase was oddly prophetic don't ya' think? Ingrid thinks she knows everything, but maybe Tim is the one we should be worried about!!

Just like the women the night before, each guy has an opportunity to make his plea. T.J. makes a dick joke, Gerald remarks about Piper's beautiful dress, Ernie speaks from the heart, Tim is sincerely Tim, and Bryce reads Piper a poem he's etched from the confines of his disturbed heart, entitled:

'Our beginning.'

Love is a many splendored thing
and this is our beginning.
Two worlds once lived apart
no longer are we ala carte.
Here was you, there was me
together two we now make a we.
Choose me and you won't ever be sorry
because we can go on a love safari.
Take my hand make me your fella
and i'll love you beyond plethora.
Tim's jaw was on the floor. He officially hates Bryce.

Despite Ernie's wealth of knowledge he does not get his wick lit and is asked to leave the house. Right after Derek not-so-kindly reminds Ernie that while he may not be the first person asked to leave the house, he is technically the first man out of the house. The episode ends with Ingrid saying, 'it's getting a little more real, huh?' Phew...it's about time she came around. Finally, Ingrid is off our back and we're off the hook! Or are we? The tease for next week's show has our good friend Ingrid telling Cammy that it's all 'unbelievable.'

See 'ya next week.
Your buddy,
brian keith etheridge

Offline Brown Guy

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Re: "Joe Schmo 2"
« Reply #13 on: July 10, 2004, 03:45:45 AM »
I knew ingrid would figure it out sooner or later, but i think that she has the potential to accidentelly scew up the whole show. and since she is now just an "actress", i think the producers will choose to get rid of her at the next pearl necklace ceremony.
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Offline puddin

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Re: "Joe Schmo 2"
« Reply #14 on: July 10, 2004, 06:14:20 PM »
 :D :D LOL..
Do you really think they would let Ingrid go BrownGuy?? I would really miss her..she's the only character that I really like  ???

Offline Brown Guy

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Re: "Joe Schmo 2"
« Reply #15 on: July 11, 2004, 02:54:09 PM »
I actually like Ingrid a lot too but i think that keeping her around is a great risk because she has the potential to screw up the whole show.
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Offline puddin

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Re: "Joe Schmo 2"
« Reply #16 on: July 12, 2004, 11:09:19 PM »
OMH !! BrownGuy you were so right !! They let Ingrid go!!  :o

Offline Brown Guy

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Re: "Joe Schmo 2"
« Reply #17 on: July 12, 2004, 11:53:33 PM »
I told ya! And if u think that prediction was good check out the S9 section for my calculations!!!
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Offline Texan

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Re: "Joe Schmo 2"
« Reply #18 on: July 13, 2004, 11:44:26 AM »
WOW !!  Was she shocked??  Man i wish the show was on earlier....witht he kids I just can not watch the show that late on Mondays.

Offline Brown Guy

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Re: "Joe Schmo 2"
« Reply #19 on: July 13, 2004, 02:51:44 PM »
She didnt seem to be that shocked, but im juts wondering about something else. Does Ingrid still get $100,000, because i think thats wat the producer told her she'd be getting if she decided to be an actor. Guess a small price to pay for not screwing the show up!
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Offline puddin

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Re: "Joe Schmo 2"
« Reply #20 on: July 13, 2004, 06:21:44 PM »
Great Recap here of last nights episode  :DJoe Schmo recap 

Offline Brown Guy

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Re: "Joe Schmo 2"
« Reply #21 on: July 13, 2004, 06:47:42 PM »
texan the show is on again tonite at 10:00, can u stay up that late?
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Re: "Joe Schmo 2"
« Reply #22 on: July 14, 2004, 11:30:45 AM »
Brown guy ~ do you know what time zone that is for?

Offline Brown Guy

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Re: "Joe Schmo 2"
« Reply #23 on: July 14, 2004, 08:25:58 PM »
That was EST
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Offline Texan

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Re: "Joe Schmo 2"
« Reply #24 on: July 15, 2004, 09:07:58 AM »
I looked at 8 pm my time and they has some movie on until 11.  Darn it maybe I will catch it on repeat again.


 

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