Author Topic: Survivor Insider Episode 14 TRANSCRIPT  (Read 1593 times)

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Offline puddin

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Survivor Insider Episode 14 TRANSCRIPT
« on: May 07, 2004, 01:32:04 PM »

May Contain slight Spoilers..


Welcome to Survivor Insider, where IWBATSTF.D stands for what the @#%@&#%%& are you trying to say, Tom? I can't @#&^%$--'in understand him.


1) Before I begin, I would like to send a message to CBS:

PLEASE! PLEASE! Give us an insider clip of the jury votes!

Thank you.

2) If you haven't read it, please check out Markopolo's Survivor Boot Pick draft starring Chris Berman Probst and Mel Burnett Kiper. How does Rupert's 40-time rate, and what does he have to do with a Mighty Ducks goaltender? Why is Amber screwing in Colorado more than Kobe Bryant? Can Rob win without a Jayson-Williams-like jury? How come Rob fans like to give people the finger? All these questions and MORE answered for you, the Survivor fan.

3) All archives of the Insider are available at Survivor Network, where you can find them on my spoiler page (an ode to TrueDorkTimes)

Thanks to Larry Londy for the web space.

4) If you want just the transcript, posts it, minus hilarious commentary, in a few days. Some people don't like me calling my own work hilarious. OK, how about if I call it "not funny."

5) Thanks to all those who support me in this thread. It takes about 3 hours to do a transcript, and I usually do this REALLY late a night. I enjoy the comments, good or bad. Remember, I do this FOR FUN. Though, if you diss me, I will come after you like Rob driving a truck. (Seriously, did you see how crazy he was? Now I know why Jeffy had such a bad time this season.)


Markopolo's note: I still don't get this vote at all. Unless Rob and Amber have an alliance with Jenna to go the Final 3, it makes no sense.

Why does Rob trust Rupert (who was planning his demise in the bushes) more than Tom (who was planning his demise at other times)?

In his vote, Rupert says the instigation fight tightened his bond with Rob. That's BS! Rob caught Rupert planning to stab him in the back.

Am I just too tired and depressed about the big finale? (No, not Friends.....Making the Band II!)

The smart play for either pair would have been to bring Tom, the perfect third wheel -- see Kathy, Jan, Keith..etc. It doesn't always work out with immunities, but it gives you the best chance that your pair is the F2.

Rupert and Jenna REALLY screwed up.

Tom (votes Ginna): You say you're the cheerleader, running that mouth, but I love your sense of humor.
(Something about Boston Rob's decision? Italian Stallion? I give up. FORGET IT. TOM IS HARDER TO UNDERSTAND THAN HOW MICHAEL JACKSON'S FACE CAME TO EXIST)

Markopolo's note: GINNA? GINNA? Thank god you don't have to be literate to do word searches.

From now on, all references to Jenna will be "GINNA"

Ginna (votes Big Tom): It's an alliance thing. You do a lot of work at camp. But you're not making it to the Final Four.

Rob (votes Tommy): I knew it was you. You broke my heart. You broke my heart. (Pony ride's??) over. You're welcome for carrying you this far.

Markopolo's note: GodFather alert! The only thing missing was the spaghetti and the big napkin in the neck of his shirt.

Amber (votes Big Tom): Umm, I still don't know if I am making the right decision, but I have to go for with my gut. I'm out here to play for a million dollars. And I don't want to spend the last couple of days with a person I don't fully trust.

Markopolo's note: What's up with Amber's Lex-like strategy of using her GUT? She is surely going to lose.

Rupert (votes Tom): You finally played your trump card this morning with Rob. Trying to cut my throat. You just ended up solidifying the bond between Rob and I. And I hope you're gone tonight.

Markopolo's note: WOW! Harsh Hagrid!

Off the top of my head, 10 questions I am wondering about entering Sunday's finale.

1) How come I hate all four contestants more than any past final four?

2) Rob gave Amber a car and didn't get anything??? Oh come on! If Markopolo gave a girl a car, EVEN he would get a little lovin. OK, maybe it would have to be a really nice car. OK, an ugly girl. OK, an ugly girl and a Mercedes. OK, Orangeena and a Ferrari. Can't ya see I'm desperate?

3) How many angry phone calls will CBS get if Hagrid Rupert is voted out with a purple rock? Harry Potter would sh*t in his pants, that's for sure.

4) Did anyone check the spelling of the mastermind's puzzle victory? I mean, the last time a mastermind tried to win that challenge, he screwed up a little.

5) If Boston Rob wins, the Red Sox are winning the World Series this year, right? So, Amber, what are you going to be doing with that million?

6) If Amber wins, this will make a porn star and two models three of the past four winners.

7) If Jenna wins, how many people will take guns out and shoot their televisions? Seriously, it would be 10 times worse than Vecepia beating Oh My Heck. An angry mob will go "Day after tomorrow" on CBS's studios.

8) If Rupert wins...uh, yeah right. Next....

9) Why didn't they show how great of a hot dog eater Amber is? She can swallow those things whole!

10) CBS is hyping a shocking surprise. Omarosa is coming back, isn't she? Just don't have any lie detectors back stage.


Markopolo's note: WOW! I thought Shii Ann's interviews were good? No way! Tom's are great!

Tom (day-after): It's not quite like it was in the game. Found out I lost 42 pounds. So, in Africa, I lost 62. And here I lost 42. (So doing my Heidi Strobel-math, that means I lost 87 pounds less this time)

Somebody said that was the same weight Heidi was, so I've lost Heidi in two Survivors.

Markopolo's note: Help me. I am dying on the floor laughing. I wrote the Heidi line, and then Tom spouts that off. WOW. OK, you had to be in the moment.

I found out that I've played more days of Survivor than anybody.

By my guesstimate, with max 39 for Final Four, Amber would fall one day short of Big Tom. How scary is that? Amber?!

Tom: 37+36= 73 days
Amber: 33+39= 72 days
Rupert: 27+39= 66 days
Ginna: Did she actually "play" at all? OK, 27+39 = 66 days
Kathy: 38+27= 65 days
Lex: 38+24= 62 days
Rob: 21+39= 60 days
Shii Ann: 21+33= 54 days
Alicia: 24+30= 54 days

At 48 years old, I stayed 37 days in Africa and 36 days here. That puts me playing Survivor longer than anybody. Of course I didn't play long enough, but I had a good run. That's all I can say.


My disappointment started with Alicia. Shii Ann had immunity and they wanted to vote out Alicia. I didn't. I wanted to vote off Jenna or Rupert because Alicia was part of the original tribe I wanted. We had a pecking order, and Rob and Amber started making all the calls. But then again, there was a snowball that we couldn't stop.

I mean it was just out of control, and there was no way to stop it. And just like me, Alicia got blindsided. And me, I got slapped on the side, but I smelt it coming. It started the day before.


But I thought that Rob and them needed me to get them to three. And then theys were going to get rid of me. I knew that. I honestly thought they would keep me around until we got to three. And then theys was going to ditch me. And I was hoping that would be the case, because there's a chance I would get immunity.

Markopolo's note: This isn't a bad strategy. Hope Amber and Rob takes you to F3, and if you don't win immunity, joining No. 4 on the pecking order and force a tie -- OK, it didn't work out for Kathy.

But, ya know, I have to give them credit. It was a good move that they made. I thought they would hang on to me just a little bit.


If you go back in time and stop to think about it, I should have gotten rid of Jenna every chance I had to break her and Rupert up. Rob and Amber; Rupert and Jenna. I tried to break that power group up. (THE ONLY WAY TO BREAK ROB AND AMBER UP IS TO SAY THE 'P' WORD IN FRONT OF ROB. HE'D BE DRIVING THAT COLORADO TO COLORADO SO FAST...) And Rob and them didn't want to, so I knew I was in trouble. There was nothing I could do about it. (HOW ABOUT LEARN TO DO WORD SEARCHES BETTER?).

I could go with Shii Ann, and she's a loose cannon, but the only thing I could do, and I talked to my son when he was here about it. I said, listen, I've got an alliance that's going to take me to three, but I don't think they're going to hold. I just don't think it's going to hold.

And he'd say, well you gotta go with your gut feeling. And I said, well, it's not so much as that as I have to go with whatever's there, and that's all I've got.

So I had to trust them.


When Alicia went, it gave me a wake-up call. We're dealing with our own tribe here. But that wasn't the only thing. Rob quit working. He quit doing anything.


Rob layed (AND LAID) in that tent, lying awake. He's had a hangnail; he's had a hurt tooth. He's had a stoved up thing (???). And I think he had gas one time. Hell, I was out there working. He's 20-some years old! I had a son, and I'd be out there working like a dog, Rob would be holding his, I think he had a hemorrhoid. Don't them things go back up?

I don't know. I'm not a doctor. But he should have been in a correction facility to fix it.



Markopolo's note: That's right, a total of more than TEN MINUTES of trying to understand Tom. I should be paid in Heidi Fleiss gift certificates for transcribing this! Lots of inside info here, and great jokes.

Tom (day-after): Instead of playing the game with me, he went with her. (UHHH, DUH?)

And it was like a puppy dog leading her around (Mocks Rob).

But it's happened to presidents; it's happened to everybody. (That's true...if Bill Clinton were on All-Stars, he would have used the Home Depot box to "nail" someone.)

Women are born with it. They've got a tool. She's a professional. She had all the tools, and I had nothing. How can I fight that?

There is not a man who can fight a woman. Cuz, she's got the tools. (UHH, WHAT IF IT WAS RICHARD HATCH OR BRANDON OR JOHN CARROLL OR COLBY?)

She's got it. And from the beginning of time, it's happened.


From her point of view, she's using it to advance in the game. This lovey-dovey thing, that's bull howkey. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard somebody think of. There's not going to be a Survivor baby. (OH DON'T BE SO SURE!!!!)

Rob is going to be leaving here in 39 days sniffing. And when the light is sniffed, he's going to get his good-bye.


And you're going to see Tom's face go (points finger) "I told you. I told you what was going to happen. You're friend, Big Tom, stood beside you."

But, you know what? It ain't just Rob that fell for the old trick. They say even Bill Clinton did it. And he's the president. You know what I'm saying? He made a bad judgment. And it cost him. And Rob made a bad judgment. And it cost him every day out here. Every day I've been out here, I've picked this knife out of my back that he stuck in me.

And I had one alliance. He made me shake hands with him before tribal council, him and Amber. And when I saw that, I went, oh oh . I knew the smell of the tail.


Some way or another, I looked all over this island, and damn I looked, and I've got to find a dictionary that spells alliance. I can't spell it. Hell, I can't spell -- they test me. I'm a third-grade speller (THAT GOOD? WOW!!!!). I know that.

But if I find a dictionary and take a couple hours to look it up (HEY, HE SAID A COUPLE HOURS, NOT ME!!!), I am going to see what alliance means. Because my wife told me going into this game to get a good alliance. And she said, you shake hands and say you ain't going to vote for one another. And you stick to it. And that's called an alliance. It starts with an A. But damn, she lied to me.


I couldn't swim when I got here. I worked my butt off to learn to swim. I guess, dog paddle a little. And I'm most proud of the fact, in the swimming challenges, I (lied?) to everybody first of the game, because I couldn't swim diddly-squat. I made it through all that without hurting the team, and I thought I would make a fool of myself. (YOU THOUGHT???) And one time I did fall into the water, and I thought I would have to yell for somebody to help me.

And honestly, I was going to yell for Rob. But now it's got me thinking. He probably would have left me to drown. (CLASSIC LINE!)


Coming back to play this game a second time was just a wonderful opportunity to me for an old timer from a small town. Survivor made me a hometown hero. With the kids, I’m a cartoon character. I've done a lot for literacy and charity. To be even named as an All-Star. Hell, I wouldn't even make a good luggage boy for these guys, and I'm proud to be a part of the good ones. I mean there are a lot of good ones. And even some of the bad ones have good ways.

I don't want to seem sour grapes, because truly this is a game of outwit, outplay and outwhatever. (OH MY GOD, THAT'S FRICKIN HILARIOUS!!!) And like I said, I'm not cut out to do that. In Africa, my alliance went straight through and kept good friends for all of it. And this time, it didn't happen (TOM, YOU ONLY FINISHED ONE PLACE WORSE!!).

Really, you have to be more of a scoundrel than I am. But really, I'm glad to be a part of it; it's a wonderful game and to be mentioned when they say All-Star. For an old country boy that wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, hung in there pretty good. You know. I was never a rocket scientist. Never claimed to be (UNLIKE THAT IDIOT FRAUD DAVE!). But some of them are supposed to be smart, and I outlasted them.

I'm just proud to be here. I want to thank everybody and whoever wins, and whoever got in front of me, I want to say, you did it, you beat me and congratulations. I might not like the way you did it, but I'm man enough to say it.

But the next time, well there won't be a next time, because I won't be back.


As far as the game goes, the hell with everybody. I'm a happy camper, and I hope everybody has a lovely life. And they can kiss my ass, cuz I'm going home, too, and I'm doing it with a smile on my face. And if I see em, it's good to see em. If I don't, that's fine.

Green with Envy?
1 min : 48 sec

Clip description: What does Rupert really think of Boston Rob and Amber both winning cars? Does he think he deserves to win one as well? Find out now.

Rupert (confessional): I'm F***in pissed I didn't win a car yesterday. (WOW, AMERICA'S FAVORITE CASTAWAY SWEARS AGAIN. WON'T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!???) Two cars.

I was barely in the running. Stupid balance. My ears are messed up. I can hardly hear. Glad this is almost done. I'm ready to go back home.


Isn't that the way it's supposed to be? Me doing all the work.

I came here to be the caretaker. Being the caretaker has gotten me this far. I can be the caretaker for four more days.


It does eat at me. I am the caretaker of teenagers not the 30-26-year olds. They should be taking care of me.


Like I say, four more days and I go back to my family. I'm happy. 3 more challenges, 3 more immunities. I want every single one. I better win one soon, or I am going to be going home.

GINNA'S Paranoia
2 min : 47 sec

Clip description: Is paranoia starting to get to GINNA? Why is she so jumpy around camp? Find out how the pressures of the game are starting to affect her.

Markopolo's note: GINNA IS STUPID! GINNA IS DUMB! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!! GINNA doesn't want to try and "play" the game. She wants her alliance to waltz her through the game. SHE BETTER NOT FRICKIN WIN! She honestly thinks that it was better to go 2 vs. 2 to the Final Four and force a tie, rather than have Tom on her side to blow away Amber. She and Rupert could be AUTOMATIC Final 3. Now she risks losing at Final Four and a messy tie-breaker. The only way she can redeem herself is by screwing over Rupert and joining Amber and Rob in the F3. RANT OVER

Ginna (rapid-speaking confessional IT'S LIKE TRYING TO TRANSCRIBE THE MICRO MACHINES SPOKESMAN): The end of the game is the best and the worst. Because you see a definitive end and you say to yourself, I get to go back to my family. I'm going to get to go back to food. But then at the same time, the paranoia is so thick in the camp, you see two people talking and you run up just to see what they're talking about. You hear your name everywhere; it's ridiculous.

All of things you set up in the last 20 days can be broken up in one argument.


In this game, I feel so heightened in my emotions. I'm always listening for my name. And there's this big crash as I go to bed, and I see two people talking by the fire, and I need to relax. ....


I don't think our alliance is being tested. It's served so well. Our only fear is that Tom wins immunity. I'm not worried about Tom making a deal to go to the final three. I have no doubts about our alliance. I do have a fear that Tom could win immunity.


It doesn't even enter my mind that Tom is the swing vote and Amber and Tom would consider using him.

Didn't even enter my mind. If he doesn't win immunity tomorrow, he's out.


There's something that I saw in the way Boston Rob, from the very first time he shook my hand and said, we're in this together, reassured me that he didn't want to play the same game. He wasn't going to lie to me. He always came to me with the same information. Same with Amber. Something about the bond we formed that I feel very comfortable with it. Even with a swing vote that is scrambling hard. And once we get down to four it all comes down to who wins immunity. But we're all OK with that.

Because the more you scramble at the end of the game, the more you like, go to one person and try to make another alliance, and then they go back to your original alliance and then that's not safe, and then this one's not safe because they went back. (STOP TALKING!!!!!!!!)

It becomes so messed up.

It becomes worse, then you get voted off first. So why not keep your alliance, and trust yourself to win immunity.


To come here and to play Survior All Stars is a dream come true for an old country boy like me. Number one, I've said it all along: to play with an elite group, of truly All-Stars…they're all good in their own way. It's just a game; I know that, but it's kind of hard to take when you play hard and get "whimwillied." I know that's part of the game.

But truly, truly, truly, I didn't consider myself an All-Star. I considered myself a player in a game, but when I got the call to be an All-Star, I felt like I was the eighteenth person they called, because they couldn't get ahold of some, and some wouldn't do it. For me just to make the picture and say that I was in that group is a proud moment. When I had a baby boy 21 years ago, that's the only moment I've been prouder of. Even though I got voted off fifth, I'm disappointed. Don't get me wrong: I'm disappointed. I thought I'd sneak around here and be down to the Final Two.

Everything pertaining to the game I've learned, and I've learned to close it off, because the game's over, I know that. But my son got to experience some of it, which is huge! I gave him another little gift of life, to be a part of something that was so important to me, and I got him involved. That was huge. It was like swimming in a fishbowl down there underwater. I've never been underwater with one of those [diving masks], never, and I didn't think they were going to let me. Nobody on that team knew how bad I sat over there every day wanting to get in that water. Actually, I was a little scared that I might get…I didn't know if I could swim well enough in it. But I just couldn't wait to see a fish.

The whole time out here has been a vacation for me, that I never had. I'm 48; I'm not going to be going around again; this was it for me. People that know my lifestyle realize how huge this is to me. People that live in a higher lifestyle, they have no idea. They go on vacation. Have you ever seen a farmer with a swimming pool, or who goes on a family vacation to the ocean? You don't. They don't. They're on the farm; they're working the cattle. They can't be gone. But I did it, and I did it for 36 days, and I'll take some friends with me. There's a lot of them that I wouldn't piss on them on fire right now, but I'll get over it. They made a bad judgement. They're going to realize that, and I hope I'm man enough to say, "I realize you did, I know you did, and it just cost me a million dollars. But you know what? We'll sweep it under the table, and we'll get over it."

The only regret that I probably had in the whole thing is, obviously, not letting other people know in my alliance how much turmoil I was going through, with other people trying to break me away, and that I wouldn't do. The other thing is that now I look back on it, letting Rob and them boss me so much. In any other situation, I would have bit him, that little young whippersnapper trying to boss me around, especially stuff that I knew what I was doing. It was all I could do, but I was doing it for the game. I'm still not sure that probably wasn't the best part. The only regret that I've got is that I'm not staying four more days. But I'm not going to cry over spilled milk. I truly, truly am glad to have "All-Star" in front of "Big Tom." I'm going to be a hootenanny dancer, I'm going to be jumping around! (Dances like crazy)

Big Tom's Beef
1 min : 37 sec

Clip description: Island life is starting to get to Big Tom. What is wrong with Tom's feet? Watch as Tom prepares for the final stages of the game.

Markopolo's note: Please save me. This clip was worthless and painful to watch. Tom talks about his wife and he is a lean, mean sex machine. "Older women make better lovers," Tom says. Yeah, Ashton Kutcher already knows.


{ any comments? E- mail Marko @  }


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Re: Survivor Insider Episode 14 TRANSCRIPT
« Reply #1 on: May 07, 2004, 06:34:25 PM »
Thanks Puddin. I do wish Markopolo would contain himself a bit on his own opinions. I always copy/paste Marko's Insider transcripts for the Survivor site I help manage. It gives good insight as to what happens behind the scenes.

Offline puddin

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Re: Survivor Insider Episode 14 TRANSCRIPT
« Reply #2 on: May 07, 2004, 08:26:33 PM »
Your Welcome CindiLou :)
He was kind enough to give me permission to post this..and I want to thank him  :)


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Re: Survivor Insider Episode 14 TRANSCRIPT
« Reply #3 on: May 08, 2004, 06:06:35 PM »
I think Ambra (the way rob says it) is going to win it all!!!