The Bachelorette Episode Recap: June 15, 2009
In this episode of The Bachelorette, whiskey is consumed and one guy goes home voluntarily. Plus: a very intriguing look at future events.
Hello, and welcome back to the Bachelorette recap, featuring my brilliant and exquisite fiancée. This week's episode begins with Jillian feeling apprehensive and eager for fun after last episode's rose ceremony — the one where she confronted the guys about whether any of them have girlfriends at home.
To shake her blues, she takes Michael the fun-loving break dancer on a one-on-one date: zip-lining. The instructor explains that zip-lining requires complete commitment.
Jillian: "Commitment, Michael. I want to see commitment."
Michael: That's love: You commit to and it works.
Fiancée: Whoa — a Bachelorette metaphor that makes sense.
Me: Yeah. Not a unicorn in sight.
And so Michael becomes my favorite competitor, and one of my fiancée's top choices. I grade these guys by the quality of their metaphors, while she goes by looks, personality, and blah blah blah blah blah.
Cut to the guys speculating about whether Wes is just there to promote his country music career, who among them has a secret girlfriend, and who told Jillian last episode that some of them have secret girlfriends (it was Tanner). Meanwhile, Jillian presses Michael on why he's on the show. He says he broke up with someone eight months ago and hasn't dated since, and that he's surprised by how fast he's become attracted to Jillian. She gives him a rose.
Fiancée: That's cute. He just seems very real.
Me: And he can breakdance. Sold.
Next, Jillian takes the guys on a snowmobiling group date and invites Prudence Merriweather to ride with her. The other guys say mean catty things about Prudence.
"He's 25 and he doesn't have a job," observes Wes, the 32-year-old non-famous country singer. Adds Tanner: "He drinks like a fish."
But at least he doesn't sing like a pigeon, right Tanner? Next, Ed says dating Prudence would be like taking care of a kid. Cut to Jillian talking about kids. Hilarious editing, Bachelorette! They hug. Then Jillian and Tanner talk again about who has a girlfriend — not about whether they have a future.
Fiancée: She kept him around to be her eyes and ears.
Soon, we find her lying in the snow with Wes. She asks if he's only there for his career.
Wes: "I was doing this a year and a half, working on this CD, before I ever thought about coming on the show. ... everybody knows what I do so I don't feel like I have to talk about it anymore.
Me: Kind of a non-answer.
Jillian: I love Wes. ... I can see that he is into me.
Hmm. They kiss. Or actually...
Fiancee: She kissed him. That worries me. He didn't kiss her.
Wes, talking to audience: There's no doubt that this is gonna help me with some publicity, but I don't want her to think that's the reason why I'm here.
Everyone drinks some whiskey, and Jillian gets some alone time with Kiptyn.
Fiancée: They're getting krunk.
Jillian (to Kiptyn): Feel my butt. Just feel it.
Me: Why did she tell him to touch her butt?
Jillian: It's wet, from sitting on the — she's so drunk. This is embarrassing.
They make out.
Fiancée: She likes him, but he's like, 'Your breath tastes like Jack Daniels.'
Later, she talks to Reid, who my fiancée describes as "so hot."
Fiancée: Ohmigod, she has a beer. Stop drinking.
Reid (to Jillian): You're so cool, and you smell good.
Jillian: What do I smell like?
Reid: Snow and flowers.
Fiancée: Jack Daniels.
Jillian: Even better. ... So who's the one with the girlfriend?
Reid says pretty much all the guys do, and that he himself has two wives. Good one. Next Jillian meets Ed, who says he's talked with his boss, who asked why he was off looking for love when he could be working. He wants "indicators" from Jillian that she likes him, and says he's willing to walk away from his job if she does. She gives him the rose, but says he has a few days to think about whether he wants to risk his job to stay.
"This isn't the economy where you want to get fired," says Jake, who is totally neutral.
In another one-on-one date, Jillian and Jesse fly up to the top of a glacier. He describes it as "the best day I've ever had." They smooch. He makes a joke about yellow snow. So romantic! Later they sit before a fire and she quizzes him about his ex and whether he's ready for a relationship. He says they broke up about six months ago and no longer talk. Happy music plays. Then he says by 35 he wants to own a wine bar, have a great house and be married with kids. She says she wants to have kids in three or four years, and that she used to want 60. Now she just wants three.
Jesse compliments her voice and she demurs, saying she "sounds like I've been drinking whiskey since I was born."
Fiancée: Um, yeah!
They retreat to a hot tub and he gets a rose.
Meanwhile, Ed tells the other guys how much he cares about Jillian. Oh, and also that his boss is really his girlfriend. (Kidding.) The next day, he tells Jillian he has to go, because of his job. She's teary and says "I really, really, really liked you." Ed says he's not giving her the rose back.
Ed: I don't think anyone else should have it.
Jillian: Fair enough.
She makes him promise that when he finds "the person you're crazy about, don't let work get in the way." Stupid recession, ruining a totally cute couple.
Ed leaves. Jillian is still teary. She says "wearing the pants" doesn't protect you against heartbreak. Walks on a mountain, she worries that Ed's departure could inspire other guys to leave. We take a commercial break and when we return she's still upset. The wonderful Chris Harrison appears to ask about her feelings.
Chris: Were you falling in love with Ed? Honestly.
Jillian: I think that from day one, whenever Ed's name was mentioned I would get a little spark in my eye. I was like, 'Oh Ed.' I loved hearing about him...
Chris says he can tell from the tears in her eyes that she was "falling in love" with Ed. He also observes that she's more emotional about Ed's departure than she was about her Bachelor split with Jason. She agrees.
We move on to the rose ceremony, where Jillian hands out roses to Reid, Kiptyn, Prudence Merriweather, Jake, Tanner —
Fiancée: What? I am shocked. Is Wes going home?
Chris announces the final rose.
Fiancée: I think she's trying to psych Wes out because she really likes him. She doesn't want him to think he's got a free ride.
Mark, the pizza entrepreneur, goes home. In a parting shot he says he doesn't have a girlfriend and isn't just there to sell records.
In the preview of next week's episode, Wes says this, totally out of context: "I've already made it six shows now. I got what I wanted, I can get a little publicity on TV and I can haul ass."
Fiancée: I think we're missing the part where he says, "That's how you know I really care about this girl and I'm not just using her."
And later this season... um, I'm gonna hand this description of it to Chris: "It's every guys worst nightmare... when one of the bachelors experiences a certain problem in the bedroom."
We hear the unlucky bachelor's voice, but can't tell exactly who it is.
Me: Sounds like... Jake?
Fiancée: It's Reid.
And, we'll leave you with this prediction: Ed comes back in the last episode.http://www.tvguide.com/Episode-Recaps/bachelorette/Bachelorette-Episode-Recap-1006918.aspx