If anyone missed the two first episodes..heres a recap
They once survived living on a farm in Arkansas. Paris and Nicole are back! This time they are challenged to cross the United States, from Miami Beach to Beverly Hills, with nothing but the kindness of strangers. They are stripped of all money and credit cards, and they can only stay in trailer parks or other families' homes. Can they do it?
First, a shopping detour in Miami with the dogs. Many $400 shoes and multiple $2,000 outfits. But before they can hit another store, the girls find out that their road trip is starting earlier than they expected. A pink pickup towing an Airstream trailer pulls up. "Shut the f&%$ up," Nicole exclaims. Yes, honey, this is your home for a long while. They turn in their cell phones, credit cards and cash.
They drive off from Miami with 3000 miles to go before this road trip is completed. At the first highway entrance, they beg the toll booth operator to front them the 75 cents. Cars honk from behind. Nicole gets out and begs other motorists for money. Oddly, these normal people pay up. "This is going to be easier than I thought to get across country," Paris boasts.
The truck's gas indicator starts beeping. Paris pulls over to a gas station and she and Nicole beg people for money. They are successful not just with horny men, but with women. Paris and Nicole could be street walkers! Nicole steals food from the quickie mart, and when she's caught, she offers to work for the owner. With gas money in hand, Paris doesn't know how to maneuver the truck to the pump.
The first stop on this road trip (and the first paying job) is at the Batten Ranch, home of the Bull-It Rodeo. The Batten family is eager to have the girls work the rodeo. Paris and Nicole say they are both proficient riders, but all they are interested in is the horse fashion. The first task is to clean the arena of manure. Paris shovels, but they cover most of the piles up with dirt. Now it's horse time. Nicole seems more comfortable in her saddle than Paris. But Paris is undeterred. "I wanna go really fast," she tells the Batten boys. As she kicks the horse into gear, she doesn't even realize that she is supposed to hold the reins. The horse obediently gallops, and Paris falls off. She moans and whines. But she also sends out for backup. A helicopter flies in to airlift her to a Tampa emergency room.
At the hospital, the paparazzi stakes out the doors. Our little Paris and her little boo-boo have become front page news. She emerges from the hospital like a wounded war veteran. "I've been riding horses my whole life and this has never happened to me before," she says through her pain to the reporters. With just a few minor bruises, Paris is fine.
Back at Batten, J.O. the head rancher feels bad about what happened. He treats the girls to ice cream at a place up the road. The girls want to go in the gift store and pick out gifts for themselves. "How bad are you hurtin'?" J.O. asks. Paris purses her lips and shows the black and blue mark on her leg. J.O.'s a gentleman and agrees to foot the $113.56 bill for their silly purchases. Now J.O. feels bad for himself for getting duped. Don't worry, pardner. Many other men have paid more. The girls get J.O. to show them his chaps -- without pants. Looks like getting men to strip is one job Nicole and Paris are good at.
Time to leave the ranch.
Are we still in Florida? Apparently so, because the girls get pulled over in Tampa by a cop. Paris doesn't have her driver's license on her. Turns out the blue lights on the truck are actually a second degree misdemeanor and could send her to jail. Paris reapplies makeup just in case she needs to flirt to get out of the ticket. But the policeman lets her go with a warning regardless of the eyeliner.
The girls set up camp in the Brentwood trailer park. The manager of the park informs them that they have no propane and can't cook. Paris puts a metal pot into the microwave. She doesn't understand why it melts and emits a smell when she turns it on. Her mama raised her right. Or was it her personal chef? The next morning, they don't have any other food so they go out to make friends with the trailer neighbors. The girls find a family who feeds them. Guess what's back from last season? The ever-present blurring of the butt crack!
The manager of the park instructs them on how to unhook the Airstream from the truck. Paris and Nicole don't pay attention. The next task is to drive to the Weeki Wachee water park, where they watch a live mermaid show in the water tank. "That was ***ual," Nicole observes. The park's marketing manager, Monica, offers to pay them to babysit her daughter that night.
Monica is perplexed when the girls ask how late little Kayla can stay out. Monica forbids them from cursing in front of her daughter. Paris and Nicole do anyway, and try to get the girl to curse too. They dress Kayla up to look like them, complete with makeup and a feather boa. Poor Kayla looks like a midget hooker. As they are playing hide and seek, Paris and Nicole lose Kayla just as her parents come to claim her. Monica is stunned that they have lost her daughter in the dark woods. But Kayla is hiding inside the trailer. "Bye, gorgeous," Kayla says, mimicking her babysitters. Monica pays them for their troubles. "Ten f*%#ing dollars!" Nicole says.
The next day at Weeki Wachee, Nicole dresses as Chester the Sea Turtle while Paris plays a mermaid. Paris does well in the swim test. Nicole has more problems in the bulky turtle suit. But after all that "hard work," the girls don't pass muster to make it into the mermaid show. How do they soothe their sad hearts? Dance on top of the bar at Coyote Ugly!
Next, the girls are headed to a nudist colony.