Author Topic: Jeff Varners Pregame Spoilers  (Read 1619 times)

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Jeff Varners Pregame Spoilers
« on: January 27, 2004, 12:32:39 AM »
This tribe is loaded with egos. A quick glimpse of the six reveals two previous winners, one "poster child" runner-up, two third place finishers and one underdog who did not make the jury in her previous attempt. In each of their shows, their "character" was, in some way, shaped by their ego. This is not to say the other teams don't have huge egos on board. But I look for this to the team that presents some of the games biggest camera hogs and attention whores. MOGO MOGO is actually Panamanian for DRAMA!


Not-so-long Live the King, I say! This man is naughty. You better bet the biggest drama queen in All-Star Survivor is Richard Hatch. He will cause drama. He will be dramatic. And in a turn that no one expected, he'll be the center of a controversy that you'll never believe. I've been told to expect the mighty and very loud fall of King Richard. He starts the game talking junk and it goes down hill from there. The self-proclaimed "grower, not a shower" causes big trouble in this game, and not just for himself. When it airs, make sure you have a great view of the screen. Scoot over "just a Hatch," if necessary! It's big--and I'm not talking about the "cocktail mushroom sitting on top of a bush," if you know what I mean!


Lex is a rock star! He's one of the coolest guys on the planet. On the surface, with his tattoo-covered body and piercings, he sends the message that he's rough, and tough and a total freak of nature. And he is all of that. But that's just the shell on a wonderful man and father who knows what he wants, and knows what's best for him. In his show, this guy was Mr. Ego! A vote cast in his direction sent him on a maniacal witch hunt to find "the snake and chop its head off." He will not live with a snake, remember? His gut was his best friend and it let him down when he started his snake hunt and that'll certainly be on the minds of the savvy players. I expect people to throw votes his way just to try and send him over the edge. This guy is a friend of mine and I know he went into this game prepared for that, and in check of his "gut." He's smart and very strategic. He's one of the best at challenges. All in all, everyone likes Lex, but knows he's a force to be reckoned with. I look for a tight bond with Kathy and a jury finish. But I don't think these players are dumb enough to leave someone like Lex around forever.

Oh! And his wife if fierce! I don't think I could walk back in their house without saying that!


Shii is the lone representative for the Survivor series most consider to be the worst in the franchise. Lovely people. A little drama. But for the most part, it wasn't a jaw-dropping, edge-of-your-seat kind of show, you know? Yes. You know. Anyway, Shii was one of my favorite characters because she was evil, stupid and such a bitch. Once I met her, I really liked her.....for a little while, at least. This girl is so shallow and so focused on fame and recognition that I anticipate her to be one of the top camera hogs. She'll create senseless drama for the sake of trying to be a memorable and main character in this story. I get the feeling she'll be somewhat desparate in her attempt to be a star. I would think she would be one that would get killed off early as most Survivors I know find her empty and very self-absorbed--being a bitch specifically because she thinks it's cool. She's weak, so she won't threaten anyone physically. She's not the sharpest tool in the shed, so intellectually she'll be anything but stimulating. Since the majority of the group sees through her game, they won't be in a hurry to get rid of her. But you can bet everyone will be accutely aware of her need to be the star and will vilifiy her for it when she's not listening. She will not win.


Get ready ladies (and some men). It's the return of "The Colbster," though I expect we'll never hear him refer to himself as this again. That self-applied label became one item in a list of traits that made Survivor 2's poster boy appear a bit cheesy. A good guy at heart, Colby confuses me with his All-Star appearance. He's been working hard to make it as an actor in Hollywood for 3 years now. And having fought the same fight, I'm a bit confused why he'd do this again. The pop back into households is attractive for a boy who's good in front of a camera. But does he really want to remain Survivor's unfortunate runner up forever? Maybe his trip is about money. But you can bet the camera time and the spotlight are his main draw. He's unbeatable in challenges and will threaten every one of them out there. Though he's not a terribly early boot, I expect Colby will not make the jury. Hopefully the appearance doesn't hurt his acting career. His very close relationship with host Jeff Probst is an odd element in all this. Look for him to get eaten alive by this group. But he'll play the nice guy/good guy role. After all, Hollywood's watching!


She's cute. I didn't buy her Playboy, but I saw it. She's alright. Though not as hot as Amber, Jenna will once again work her physical magic out there. It's clear she's the type that needs that sexual dominance right off the bat. I've never actually met her, but from what I know and what I've seen, she's very sharp and outspoken, though a bit self-absorbed. She referred to herself as one of the "cuter and younger" in the Amazon. She went on to win it, of course, and all the above will do her in. Unfortunately, her mother passes away early in the taping, so she voluntarily leaves the game and at a challenge, I'm told--in dramatic fashion. I'm sure she's a sweet girl, and I felt for her when I heard of the passing. I'm told she was flown back to the location to relax, enjoy the island and party as the game wrapped up. That was nice of Survivor to do for her. It's too bad she had to leave. It would have been interesting to see where her romantic relationship with Africa winner Ethan Zohn travelled. Ethan's made his way through this group, it seems. Hopefully this Jenna is his match.


Kathy is a very interesting woman and one of the most complex and most negotiation-savvy people I've met. She's studies you. She reads you. You feel it in her presence. Kathy was a favorite of her show and the one many feel deserved to win. Her cast really came to her defense and supported her, like no other cast has supported a contestant before. She is revered. This will keep her around awhile, but will also keep her away from the winner's circle. Kathy is very emotional, yet incredibly strong and stern-willed. She'll be a favorite here and I look for her to bond strongly with Lex. But it won't do her any good. She'll make the jury, but she will not win. Look for her to be somewhat included in a dramatic moment involving Richard. I can't wait until this tid bit rolls around. If it's edited out, I'll tell you all about it. In time! FIRE IN THE HOLE! ;-)

Viewers won't be able to wait until the cameras turn to Chapera Beach, mark my words. This game's most fun and entertaining characters all seem to be living together. Rumor has it this group does very well, collectively. I look for the winner to be one of these people.

(Survivor: Australian Outback)
Alicia is one of my dear friends, so I'm most confident in her ability to succeed in this game. She's intense and focused when necessary, but for the most part, jovial and light--always having fun. She's physically without a match, and that may make her a target with some. But I'm sure her strategy will be to lay low and be smart about her choices. That being said, I'm certain she freaked out when she realized who she'd be sharing a beach with. Alicia loves Tom, is on good terms with Amber and the two Robs, and shares a mutual respect with Sue. She'll start this game in a good position. In her fierce red bikini and one-of-a-kind body, look for Alicia to be All-Star Survivor's "hot chick!" As long as she can keep the ghetto in check and keep her fingers out of people's faces, she's bound for the end of this one!

(Survivor: Africa)
Everybody Love Big Tom. This man, no matter where he is, is always wearing his trademark overalls and hat. Look for Tom to continue being the life of the party on the island. This old redneck is slick. Tom understands how to play the game and is always cracking a joke. He's with a group that responds well to fun, especially in a situation like this. Tom works hard and doesn't gripe and whine when it all gets tough. All of this will help in his bond-building. To my knowledge, he has great relationships with everyone and is considered a fun-loving nice old party goat with a magnetic Southern charm. But that redneck lure could do him in. Big Tom is wonderful, but has been known to say things sometimes that let you know he hasn't been too far off the farm. With Sue and Alicia near by, he'll have to watch his comments toward African Americans and women. I've also been told in Africa, Tom was the smelliest. Hope his boots don't do him in.

(Survivor: Pulau Tiga)
I love Sue Hawk. I have since way back when she was screaming at Richard in that tree day one. She's rough around the edges and not afraid to make a little noise. She's a devious little devil. I spent 10 days riding across the country in a hurse with her as part of USA's Cannonball Run back in 2001. She pulled out all the stops and let her guard down a bit with me. She's a strong and focused woman who'll try to get away with anything to win this game. Her greed is transparent. She is not a pushover. We saw the rat and snake speech. She wants to bring Rich down! There's an angry side to Sue that, married with the superiority she may feel being one of the Survivor brand poster kids, could mean trouble for anyone that pushes her too far. Having said that, I know she's probably gonna hate the next guy.

(Survivor: Marquesas)
The guy can be nice, but for the most part,he's a jerk. Everyone who watched his show knows this, and anyone who has ever been to a Survivor charity function with Rob has seen it first hand. He's the guy that will agree to come to your fundraiser, then get incredibly drunk and damage property, forcing the charity to use all the money he helped raise to pay for the stuff he broke. He picks fights. He gets a rise out of making people squirm. He brings back every childhood fear one might have of bullies in junior high stealing your milk money. He's also very charming, I might add. He'll woo Amber, for sure. I know Alicia's got his number. She'll probably work with him in some way. Sue will hate him. Big Tom won't take his eyes of him. And always, high, high drama with this guy. The rumor mill has it that the "Robfather" intimidates, bullies and pushes the envelope in this game so far past what is acceptible. He apparently slammed several former Survivors (on camera) that weren't even present on the island to defend themselves. That's not strength, that's a coward. I understand he left this game with very few, if any, friends. But make no mistake about it--As far as Survivor play goes, Rob Mariano is a First Class Assh(|)e! He's the kind of guy you keep around simply because you know you'll beat him in the end. He'll either go fast or he's final two.

(Survivor: Australian Outback)
I will admit two things here. First, I adore Amber. I think she is one of the sweetest, nicest and physically most beautiful people I've ever met in my life. I love her. Secondly, I'm perplexed as to why she's on this cast. In Survivor 2, Amber was a puppy, attached to whomever could help her think and speak. She is most remembered for her Stuff Magazine spread and NOT for her game play. She was strategy-less. She cried all the time and was known for her incessant exclamations of "Oh My God!" Of the 18 contestants out there, Amber is the least deserving of a spot.

Now, that being said--AMBER BRKICH WILL WIN ALL-STAR SURVIVOR. There, I said it. Of course I know nothing about what will happen out there, really. But I can guarantee you that if she doesn't win, she's final four! There is no way Amber will not tap dance to the end of this game. When you put someone like her in the midst of these evil, backstabbing and deceitful ego riddled humans, no one will see her as a threat. No one! They won't be looking at her. Well, some of us will be :-). No one out there will be threatened by her. In fact, I know most of the All-Star contestants were shocked she was there. This will all work to her advantage. Alicia and Sue will not respect her game play. She'll win no challenges and make no tough calls. And all this will create a false sense of "ignore Amber." She's in the best position of all to advance. The rumor mill says she and Mariano begin a romantic relationship out there. That makes me wonder what exactly is up in the Chapera Tribe. Could it be that Amber finally gets game?

(Survivor: Amazon)
Rob is a cool guy. You love him after thirty seconds of talking to him. He's got a bright face that lights up a room. He's fun, relaxed and that type of personality that makes him ease right into your heart and earn your trust. If he hadn't gone all over America stating that he was the best player of this game ever, and if he hadn't been so deceitful and manipulative in the Amazon, I'd say he would do well. But you can count this one out. He'll be liked, but he won't be trusted. Look for a pre-jury ejection.

Take a look at this group and it's easy to see these are people that, in one form or another, have something to prove. In a sense, they all do. However, this group in particular seems to be made of people that need to right a wrong or prove their worthiness, based on their previous performance.


As a former winner, he's dead. No one who's won this game before will even get close to the jury, much less the million dollars. Ethan has taken a lot of ribbing about not being worthy of his million. Lex or Big Tom deserved it more, according to a lot of people. There's a school of thought among Survivors that none of the former contestants are truly nice people. This game is ugly and brings out the worst in people, so when nice guy finish first, it makes the nice seem not so real. Ethan has a reputation as a ladies man. Both he and Colby probably have seen more post-Survivor booty than any male out there. But that charm will not help him. He's love real-life love triangle with Amber, Jenna Lewis and Jenna Morasca is the most interesting thing about his game, to me, and given Morasca's mothers' death, even that will peter out. I look for him to be a rather unremarkable presence here.


You can bet she see her "beauties" this time. Jenna's family is one Survivor family that will not miss the request to send videos or care packages. When she didn't get her video from home in her show, Jenna became an instant favorite. She was supposed to be the first winner and bring it home for her two little girls "Sadie and Sabrina." Now she gets her chance. She remains the only reality show contestant in history to appear on the cover of Time Magazine. She's tough and not so gullible. Jenna is annoying in that she never shuts up. She's also very fond "celebrity" and popular figures. So I look for her to jump on the bandwagon with Rupert and ride it to the end. She knows Rupert is the most popular Survivor ever, really. So she'll befriend him quickly and be his Sandra to the end. She's fairly well-liked among the ranks. She's a tough one to read, but I'll take a stab and say she's final four.


Talk about something to prove. Jerri will, no doubt, be out to cut a 180 from what we last saw her as. Her character in S2 was villified by other contestants and the American public. Until Little Johnnie Foreskin, she was the most hated Survivor of all time. I know from knowing her personally, that space in history is not good. Though she's strong, America's critiques hurt Jerri, and some feel her acting career. Look for Jerri to try and get far into the game, but her main focus will be on acting and behaving in a way that changes America's perception of her. Now, that being said, watch her be a big old fire truck driving raving King Kamahamaha Beeahtch! She might make the jury, but I doubt it.


This old man is toast. I just hope he's around long enough to offend every race, religion and sexual orientation in the nation. He's at his best when he's exercising his narrow mind. Rudy is a great man and probably the most entertaining Survivor of all time. We loved him then. We'll love him now. But for the most part, this game is probably beyond him. He survived the first attempt because he saddled up to Richard. (That is, unless you ask Stacy Stillman. I hear she has a different story---but I digress). He may find his stronger and loyal younger leader in this group, but only time will tell. Rudy could be the first person voted out, though I'm sticking to my guns it's Tina. If he's not first, he's not far behind it. Rupert has already announced to America he beat him.


OK people, don't hate me here, but I'm gonna put something out there that most Survivor fans might not be ready to hear. Rupert is an arrogrant prick! How's that for a shock. America loves this man and so does CBS, apparently. On the red carpet at the S7 finale, the other contestants were very up front and honest about their feelings for Rupert. Most told me he was overrated. Several of them called him a bully and almost all of them said CBS edited him to be the one people loved, when in actuality, he was one of the contestants' least-favorite. The buzz returning from All-Star is pretty much the same. I hear Rupert still thinks it's his game and his island. He'll do well here because he is very strong and the one everyone knows the least about. But regardless of how he's edited, just know that the majority of All-Star and Pearl Islands contestants don't buy this guy's act, don't care for the cocky arrogance he carries around and leave this game not respecting the old pirate wannabe. We saw the arrogance when he slipped on live TV that he "beat Richard and Rudy." So much for confidentiality. He was nice to me, but people I know and trust say Rupert's not cool and shame on CBS for making America think he is. I bet he's final four.


Just look at that face! Is this not the sweetest, kindest, most loving and trustworthy person you've ever seen? I know Tina and she is all of that. But if you're not careful you can be sucked into allowing yourself to be fooled into a fog that will miss the coniver underneath. Tina is savvy, strong and very good hiding what's really going on. But it won't matter much. As a former winner, she's toast. Though she's respected, bet she's one of the least trusted out there. If she's not the first person voted off, she's not far behind. I predict Tina joins Sonja, Debb, Diane, Peter, John, Ryan and Nicole as the first person kicked out of their game. I say, if you can't win it, first off is the best place to be!